This is a great question that really strikes a chord. When I was growing up, tickling women’s feet was almost an obsession with me. An equal obsession, however, was not getting labeled a weirdo. This meant I needed a ploy that would make the tickling seem a “natural” action under the circumstances. With relatives or friends of the family or girlfriends, it was quite a simple matter: I had tickled them before and – as long as we were alone – ripping off their shoes and attacking their feet didn’t need an excuse. But with other women – neighbors, mothers and sisters of friends or, even occasionally, complete strangers it was vital to have a reason to either make them slip off their shoes or bring the topic around to their feet. Here are a few ploys I tried over the years that successfully ended in tickling:
1. losing change under a couch and having the woman get down on her knees to help me look for it
2. faking a limp and claiming I often was troubled by a strained ligament in my arch – then illustrating ON HER rather than myself exactly where it hurt. This may sound ridiculous but it worked a number of times, especially on mothers of friends when I was growing up.
3. on one very successful occasion with a friend of my parents, trying to remove some gum stuck to the floor and asking to use the heel of her shoe to pry it off the tiles. The tickle came, of course, when I gallantly offered to put her shoe back on. The held-out foot made a tickle seem like the most natural action in the world.
4. being outside my house when a woman arrived as a guest and then ostentatiously taking off my own shoes in the front hallway when we went in. Naturally, in order to be polite, she takes her shoes off, too. This has worked like a charm a number of times.
5. last year, I offered a colleague a seat in a lazyboy that had its footrest already extended after having used the “hallway ploy” mentioned above. With her bare soles pointing directly at me for most of a meeting, tickling her was a “natural” thing after fifteen minutes or so. She accepted it cheerfully and never told anyone else on the staff.
6. walking clumsily by a woman seated on a couch and bumping into, tripping or stumbling over her foot. This, again, may sound ridiculous and rather obvious but it worked beautifully several times, once with a total stranger.
7. an extreme version of this is “accidentally” stepping on her toes (always with socks or barefoot to avoid hurting her) and then examining her foot in apology. Again, the follow-up tickling seems a natural thing to do.
8. getting her to step on your foot “by accident” and then tickling her as “punishment”. (I tried this only once with a young colleague who had had a few drinks and didn’t notice I had put my foot in front of her. It worked but I don’t know how it would work with a completely sober woman.)
9. pretending to hang a painting above a couch; naturally she sheds her shoes or slippers to get on the couch and help. (This trick led to one of the hottest foot-tickling experiences of my life. I wrote a story about it that I may publish here some day.)
10. putting my bare feet in a very obvious situation where SHE would tickle me – then retaliating.
11. flattening out a carpet which required both of us to get down on our knees. Once behind her, tickling is a natural tease in that situation. (This worked a couple of times when I was young and, much to my surprise, worked very well with a neighbor in my complex just last month! Older women seem far more tolerant of tickling than some younger ones.)
12. I once saw a teenage neighbor in flip-flops walking up to our door (to visit my brother who, luckily, was not home). I spilled some water in the hallway and was on my knees when she knocked. With the soles of her sandals wet, she obligingly took them off and then volunteered to help me mop up the mess. The good side was a great tickle with her very soft feet; the bad side was she told my brother about it later.
13. a discussion about reflexology and the nerves in the feet. (This was rather blatant and has only worked once. Fortunately, the woman – a friend of my ex-wife’s - was into alternative methods of healing.)
14. dropping an object off a table and going under to look for it. Her feet are there in front of you and a tickle seems a natural tease.
15. a great risk that paid off with another colleague: I flippantly remarked that she had “very cute toes” and she held them up to display that she didn’t really agree. I grabbed her ankle, examined them closely, announced that they were as cute as I thought and then asked if they were as ticklish as they were cute. Then I found out. (This really was a risky thing and I don’t recommend it unless you really know you can trust the woman.)
16. Of course, the greatest ploy of all is total honesty: “I’ve always had a thing for feet and yours are really cute. I would love to tickle them!” To be honest, I tried this only once with a woman who was giving me massage therapy in exchange for some professional editing I did on a speech she had to give to her nursing association. It worked then but she was very eccentric, saw herself as a free spirit who claimed to love honesty and wanted to “experience” new things. But I would never have the guts to risk it a second time, especially with an average woman in the real world.
These are ones I have used successfully. I am sure there are plenty of better ones out there!