how do you learn to accept self for your fetish?

[Lostcause13]

For myself it's a few things that helps me. It was harder at first since when all of my buddies started noticing boobs and asses I was still noticing the same thing i always noticed, feet. It made me feel a lot like I "wasn't like the other boys" until one day I finally caved to my urges and google image searched "tickling", and I found clip stores all dedicated to tickling. I was super secretive about it, and my dad almost busted me one time I forgot to delete my browsing history (I brushed it off as a pop-up, not sure if he bought it lol.) Knowing that it wasn't just me was definitely a pretty huge thing though. Once I explored it a little more I started to realize that I wasn't so vastly different, just in a small way.

I'm still pretty secretive about it, but it's really more of a "It's none of your business" secret than a "I'm ashamed of it" secret at this point. I've wound up telling three people outside of this community here and their reactions helped me a lot too. The first person I told laughed in my face because she has way worse fetishes, and could hardly believe I was so scared to tell her that. The second person brushed it off completely. The third was completely relieved as she believes everyone has one and half expected something way worse. That being said, it's still not a secret for family members (some of whom may have a hunch), acquaintances, or my friends (not including the above three). I can definitely relate to your desire to talk to people about it and you feel like there's no place for it. Myself at my job sexual encounters come up probably every day around the water cooler (there's no actual water cooler however) and if I have personal stories to tell I keep them to non fetish related activities, or to where the tickling was just a bridge to something else.

My friends and colleagues are a pretty ruthless bunch, so if they were to find out I'm sure they'd let me have it, but if you're at the point where you're talking about fetishes with these friends I'm pretty sure you have something on them (sexual or not) to throw right back at them. As far as anything past playful ribbing, my philosophy on life in pretty much all matters is you gotta own it (not the same as telling everybody). If you can own it unabashedly people will respect you if nothing else. If you don't believe me just look at hipsters, a whole culture/counter culture built around just being different from the "mainstream" and owning it.

In Summary, there are people you can talk to about it, not everyone needs to hear about it anyway, and own it. (Why am I always so damn long winded?)

 

[Dialon]

I use to be afraid of people finding out about my fetish, and I was embarrassed about it. But back when I felt that way, I had that way of thinking about anything, I wasn't much of an open person. At some point I stopped caring about what others thought completely, and that includes my fetish. Me not making a big deal about it seems to help with other people accepting it. It generally goes like this . . .

Me: Oh yeah, I have this fetish.
Them: Oh, okay cool.

Simple as that, thus I can accept it. I just act as if it is completely normal, and that tends to rub off on others I suppose. I just like tickling, I don't fuck goats or anything.

 

[helplessandhappy]

I just act as if it is completely normal, and that tends to rub off on others I suppose. I just like tickling, I don't fuck goats or anything.

I agree. And when people do react negatively, it's about them, not you.

Btw the Mars thing in your signature is beyond awesome. 🙂

 

[Sunriseticklee]

I'm going to be honest- Growing up, I did think I was weird, and I didn't fully understand why I loved it so much. Didn't stop me from loving it, and well.... it wasn't until college when I found out more.

Hmm.... I did feel alone at some point, because I found myself reaching out to people in the hopes that they would understand. I found people clear across the country in California who I actually met up with, and that's how I found TMF. But in GA... I did feel kinda isolated. There were no munches or gatherings out here (still aren't much), and well... although most of my boyfriends indulged me, I didn't think they really understood.

I dated a couple of people from the forum long distance- and then seriously dated and married Alex Warfield from TMF.

So, although I had friendships and people I could really express myself with, it was difficult living in an area where I felt like I was kinda on an island.

I get where you are coming from. Just know, you are NEVER truly alone. We are out there, just like you. And I bet money, there is someone close to where you live that is feeling the same way you do.

Don't give up!

 

[Dialon]

Yeah, that's how I view anything. If someone has a problem with what I like, that is on them. They can dislike it all they want while I get to enjoy it. Also, thank you!

 

[C.A.B.]

First one learns to accept one's self... after that, your fetish is easy. Then the trick is to master one's self. And that takes work... every single day.

 

[deadlywiffeathr]

I don't let my fetish or sexuality define me as an individual. I think thats the key. These aren't things you need to "come to terms" with, like they are unwanted parts of you. They are what make you unique and should be embraced, not dealt with.