How do you tell your girlfriend what your into...

[Edge]

Ok, I know this question has probably been discussed many times on these boards but I never saw or read any threads like that and at this point in my life I am questioning how I would ever tell a girl that I want to tie her up and tickle her out of her mind. I am single and in my mid 20s. But I know eventually (hopefully lol) I will have a g/f, find the right girl and...well then what do I do? I am a regular, laid back guy who just the past 2 years has really realized what I truly am into (tickle torture). Before I found this I had thoughts of S&M possibly, feet (which I do have a foot fetish), bondage...so many fantasies but then once If ound out about tickle torture...well thats all it hink about sexually. I realize this is the #1 thing I'm into. It kinda encompasses everything that I like, bondage...feet (helpless feet when you have a foot fetish, how great is that?) and tickling her while tied up makes it perfect.
But enough about my interests...my questions are for anyone who's ever had to tell their spouse or g/f what they were into HOW did you exactly tell them? What was their reaction when you told them? Also, would you suggest telling someone VERY early on in a relationship about what your into......or at least wait 6 months till things get kinda more serious, and then eventually tell her about it from there, maybe she'll accept it and try it more if she's more into you after a longer period of time...YET she might think your a great guy up until that point and then all of a sudden you tell her this and it almost makes her think that something is wrong with you. Ugh anyways sorry this post got so long but this really is my only real outlet to talk about tickle torture and my concerns about it in my future...

 

[daddy]

First you need to know if your new mate is even ticklish or not. If not, I guarantee you will be fantasizing about tickling others the whole relationship. Second...be straight up front. Tickle her and see how she reacts. You will know.

peace out,
daddy

 

[AquaFeline]

I would perhaps concern yourself with finding people who are liable to be open to kink in the first place. If it's something you must have 100%, maybe you should consider first looking within the BDSM and tickling community. There will of course be open minded people out there outside of these communities. You might try showing them a movie with some kinky elements and then talk about it afterwards with them to feel out their opinion on such matters.

Maybe it's different with girls or for different people, but personally I've had a lousy & painful time "converting" people. It's not something I'd seriously consider again without an enormous amount of chemistry. Other opinions welcome.

I've always told people early on in a relationship, but then I'm in a different position, being the one who wants to be tied up. I would suggest getting to at least a level where they know you're not psycho crazy first. 😉 I doubt they would totally change their opinion of you if you told them after 6 months, but it might turn out they don't like it, and then you've spent 6 months with someone who won't be sexually compatible.

 

[kcantankerous]

tickling is one thing, the whole bondage scene is a whole other subject when mentioned to someone on the outside

 

[Sunday_10pm]

When you get really close to someone, you'll be able to tell them this sort of thing... I'd say unless you're an outgoing individual, it's probably not a good idea to start talking about fetishes till you are well into a relationship and know you can trust your lover. That's my advice, play it cool dude...

 

[AquaFeline]

tickling is one thing, the whole bondage scene is a whole other subject when mentioned to someone on the outside

I thought interest was expressed in bondage. Not good to mention at first though, true. Tickling ain't such a big deal really to most vanilla people (as far as I know) so de-emphasizing bondage is good.

 

[TicklishSinner]

i got my fiancee into it...i was just honest about it and showed him this site and let him look around and didnt push him ilet him decide if this is something he wants or likes

 

[EvlJester]

yeah sinner introduced me to the forum. now i am a really good tickler with fingers and my tounge. all she did was tell me.

 

[OscarTheMonkey]

I find that often times people make alot more out of this than need be. I have never found a woman to be against trying anything kinky, and while others have said that bondage is a different issue, I have found that woman I have had relationships with like that more than anything foot/ T+D/ tickling related. I mainly think that men who have been out of a relationship for a while will hop at the first chance to get into one, and suffer the consequences. I would say that intelligent, confident woman, who are in touch with their identity and have some level of education and life experience do not freak out about such relatively mundane issues as kink.In fact, they enjoy and expand upon it. And- I think that men don't look for content of character in woman as much as they should. I would go so far as to speculate that woman who are so rigidly vanilla sexually most likely would present you with a numerous range of other problems in the relationship as well. The right time to tell anyone for me has been anywhere from the second date to the second month of a relationship. Hopefully, when you determine the right time to express your desires to your lover, she will have the same level of comfort with your relationship to express her kinky likings. I think there are very few people in the world who don't have some specialized liitle kink they enjoy.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Always good to be up front about this IN THE BEGINNING. If you don't, you might find that you have invested a lot of sweat equity into a relationship for nothing.
My wife and I spoke over the phone before we ever met. I asked in a roundabout way if she was ticklish. There was something about the girl's reaction...I could literally hear her stiffen and stifle a giggle through the phone line. She asked me if I liked tickling, and I told her very much. She had no problem with it. I sighed, and just knew that I was doing just fine. Took me thirty six years up to that time to get to that conclusion.
Don't fall into the hole others on this board have, for reasons of insecurity. There can be no compromise. You have got to have someone who shares your interests to some degree in order to find contentment. If you're naturally a Ler (no pun intended, Natural Tickler, LOL!), you have got to find someone with The Sensitivity. There is no joy in being with someone who ain't ticklish, because soon, you're gonna start thinking about her sister. Or her best friend. Or the other girls where she does her workouts. If you are a Lee, it's even more imperative to find someone who likes doing it, or you're gonna find yourself trying to mask or hide resentments that will surely surface. My statements are not really gender-specific...I know you all understand. The bottom line is, life's too frickin' short to be with someone who ain't ticklish. 😛

 

[AquaFeline]

Aye on resentments... it's poisoned most of the relationships I've had.

 

[Edge]

Thanks for all of your answers. Obviously everyone has different opinions. Some of you say tell them RIGHT away, others say to make tickling basically your #1 priority (search for a girl through tickling/bdsm), and yet others say once you get close to your gf you should be able to tell her and that most won't think its that big of a deal (hence they'd try it). I'm more to agree with the latter, as I've always hoped/thought that if you fall in love and you've been together a long time that if she really loves you she'd try almost anything for you. Like you know that saying "i'd die for my g/f" well if you'd die for them why wouldn't you get tickled? lol...but yeah I would almost try anything for a girl who I fell in love with so I would hope she would do the same for me...anyways thanx for all the feedback.

 

[TickledToDeath]

Actions speak louder than words.

Need I say more?

TTD😉 😀

 

[jorus5]

Just to make it even more confusing, I agree with the people who say wait, especially Sunday_10pm. Blurting out that you have a major tickling fetish on the first date is probably NOT a good idea. I would wait until you know they love you for who they are, and then they'll probably be ok with it. So I believe that telling them you have a fetish, in the beginning, before they know you really really well is bad. Like I said, they're more likely to accept it once they love you/are attached to you.

 

[The Sean Man]

I've always been up front about my fetishes in all of my relationships. When you're dating someone, the conversation eventually rolls around to turn-ons/turn-offs, and I put all my cards on the table. Waiting just makes it feel like you've kept a secret for fear of embaressment.

The Sean Man

 

[AquaFeline]

What if they're ok with the concept of a fetish but can't stand participating? I don't know about other people, but there are some things I can accept yet I'd never want to do it myself.

 

[The Sean Man]

I guess it would depend on how bad you want to experience your particular fetish.

The Sean Man

 

[Majestic]

How to tell your g/f

Speaking from experience. I was not even aware that such a fetish existed until I met my b/f. We were sitting around talking one night, getting to know each other better and we reached a point of comfort where we started talking about fetishes. When he told me he was into tickling, I just sort of look at him and said "oh..thought it was gonna be something kinky and bizarre..cool". Mind you, as a young girl I hated to be tickled cuz I guess I was a control freak of sorts BUT one night he confronted me with a tickling challenge. I love a good, clean, fun challenge so I took it. We're still tickling each other almost four years later. My advice..get comfortable with the person, feel them out and be up front. Honesty speaks volumes.