How to ease lee into bondage? and how to do it safely?

[Birchwood House]

I've been experimenting a lot with tickling and one aspect I've wanted to learn how to do properly was incorporating bondage.

My lee is interested in exploring it but due to past trauma she is a little afraid of being restrained and that feeling of being helpless but is open to trying it on a less extreme scale and getting acustomed to it overtime.

I wanted to be mindful and learn how you would try bondage in a safe way without hurting or causing a panic attack.

And of course any input would be much appreciated, this community seems really friendly with offering advice 🙂

 

[WickedTouch]

I've been experimenting a lot with tickling and one aspect I've wanted to learn how to do properly was incorporating bondage.

My lee is interested in exploring it but due to past trauma she is a little afraid of being restrained and that feeling of being helpless but is open to trying it on a less extreme scale and getting acustomed to it overtime.

I wanted to be mindful and learn how you would try bondage in a safe way without hurting or causing a panic attack.

And of course any input would be much appreciated, this community seems really friendly with offering advice 🙂

There’s a lot to consider here. Firstly, I’ll say that you can slowly and carefully attempt to explore this with a willing, enthusiastic lee, but if you or they have any hesitation or if they feel that the trauma gets easily triggered by early exploration, I’d highly recommend they (or both of you together) see a kink aware therapist that can assess the trauma situation and give you specific practical guidance for how to do this in a way that is most tailored to the lee’s specific situation. If you decide to experiment first, I’ll leave you with some general and almost certainly incomplete, but hopefully helpful points to guide your exploration:

• Go slow: Whatever you do, take your time, check with the lee more than you think you need to, and work in baby steps. Before attaching a limb at all, let them play with the bondage equipment. Show them how it works and how it will go. For the first time, maybe just attach cuffs to the limbs, but don’t secure them to anything. Just let them flail around as you tickle them. Let them get used to the cuffs on their wrists and ankles. Next time, see how they feel about getting one of the limbs tied to a hard point like a bed post or other secure point. You can try a variety of incremental approaches like this, but give them options and let them choose which feel most comfortable to try next. maybe they just want the hands or ankles tied together first, but not anchored to anything. Maybe that’s scarier for some reason than each limb anchored to something. Only they will be able to tell you. If they’re not ready to move on to a more vulnerable step yet, don’t pressure them at all and encourage them by actually saying there’s no pressure.
• Go with the easiest bondage to attach and detach. This is not the time to practice your intricate knot work or complex positional ties. Don’t use rope. Use straps with clip-on hooks or similar and cuffs with velcro or easily undone attachment mechanisms. There’s just so much more that can go wrong with rope (to include it being more intimidating for many, potential nerve damage if used incorrectly, and difficulty in untying).
• Don't change too many variables at once. As an example, the first time you do something with bondage, don't do it in a room or place they are not very familiar with. Do some tickling in their a few times first. Let them be comfortable in the space they'll be tied in.
• Communicate before, during, and after. I just can’t stress this enough. The more care you take with this and the more interest you show in their feelings and well-being, the more they are going to be trusting and receptive to you and the activity. Ask them if there is anything you can do to make them feel more at ease (even to include playing music, having a well lit room, etc.). Ask them what kind of after care they would most appreciate and commit to doing it for them.
• In the beginning, pairing the bondage with tickling might be too much, as tickling in general can induce a sense of panic in many people, and when paired with bondage, it can be triggered much more easily. As you’re graduating through the steps to full bondage, start with just tie up and release. Eventually move on to tie up and massage if they are comfortable with it. When they are ready, tickling can be added. That doesn’t mean to go crazy on them all at once—do very light playful tickles, checking in with them as you go, then release. Talk about it and see how they feel about more intensity next time.
• Establish a safe word and triple check that they know what it is and what it means. Honor it when it is used. I strongly recommend the traffic light system. While everyone has a slightly different take on it, it is generally hard to mess it up. Green means I'm cool, let's keep going! Yellow means slow down or sometimes stop for a minute until I give green. Red means I'm done, release me immediately!
• stay in the right head space. Every indication I have is that you are doing this now, but if you find yourself being impatient or dissatisfied with the progress, this is not for you. You need to be willing to invest the time and effort for the lee you're playing with to feel comfortable.

These are my first thoughts and I hope you find them helpful. I think it's great that you're considering the lee's needs like this. Just approach with care and be willing to accept that you might need professional guidance if the challenge seems daunting to either of you. I wish you both the best of luck! 🙂

 

[Love2Laugh]

This is actually really sweet! I actually have a hard time with being bound, because I am claustrophobic. 😂 really, I even get panicked at times.
What helped me was starting with a little at first, then going into more constructive settings as I felt more comfortable. Also, definitely need a bond with the person, but you seem to have that 🙂

 

[Miss_Gigglish]

This is actually really sweet! I actually have a hard time with being bound, because I am claustrophobic. 😂 really, I even get panicked at times.
What helped me was starting with a little at first, then going into more constructive settings as I felt more comfortable. Also, definitely need a bond with the person, but you seem to have that 🙂

I agree with this! I don't agree to getting tied immobile ever not coz claustrophobic but because of how ticklish I am haha

But I think @Birchwood House what you can do is start very slowly, by tying just one body part at a time (say wrists, or ankles) and not tying them pinned down.

 

[SeductiveTickle]

Frequent, open communication and a willingness to take small steps at your lee's leisure are most critical in establishing trust and ensuring comfort in my opinion.

 

[Soles_Scream]

I've been experimenting a lot with tickling and one aspect I've wanted to learn how to do properly was incorporating bondage.

My lee is interested in exploring it but due to past trauma she is a little afraid of being restrained and that feeling of being helpless but is open to trying it on a less extreme scale and getting acustomed to it overtime.

I wanted to be mindful and learn how you would try bondage in a safe way without hurting or causing a panic attack.

And of course any input would be much appreciated, this community seems really friendly with offering advice 🙂

Treat it seriously. Meaning to not make any mention of there being no way out in jest or otherwise. Unless it's clear that the lee wants that to happen. Make sure to have the safety scissors ready. Also, when the tickling is over, or there's a break, or if you need to step away, make sure to undo the restraints for the lee first.