How to find someone to tickle if you are an incel

[duderino84]

So i was thinking i should maybe become more active maybe in a positive way (not into criminal/thug/degradated life at all). Problem is: how? Should i have a better posture? Act more confident? Having success in sports or at work? And also: how can i get that with this stupid aspergerism making me a social freak?

I'll throw some ideas at this thread, and keep in mind that there's no magical spark that will snap you out of your issues. Socializing, just like a job, is work. Extroverts likely will fare easier at it than introverts.

First. ...find perfection in imperfection. I get why you identify as "incel" but it's been identified as a red (dangerous) flag. Look at things this way. Every tag you give yourself is everything you have to present to other people. Do you really want the dark cloud personality of being a horny, angry, bitter person? That's what incel and PUA communities don't get. It's unappealing. So embrace things you're good at. Or your interests. But you can always be awkward. Nothing wrong with awkward. Socializing can be enjoyably awkward. But assimilating (taking small cues from others) is useful. So you're 25, you're on your own, wanting to do sports, meet people. ...have you checked out meetup.com? Not a bad idea to find things that are your bag. Posture? I hope you've been encouraged to stand up straight, greet people with a smile and just hold regular conversation. You ultimately have to open up to people.

Don't rule people out if things don't pan out initially. That was a mistake I feel I made when I'd try to find dates and some women I met would be a little "cold fish" (shy/sheepish/squeamish). Add in that I wanted tickling and it was a difficult time. Years later I met someone who I had a bit of an awkward dinner with. I initially kind of went quiet. But we had a conversational chemistry so I kept going. Eventually I mentioned I liked tickling. Go figure she's who I see regularly now. It started off with "I'm not sure what I can handle" and when I tickled her she admitted it tickled her both ways 😉. Try to work in chemistry with everybody. It's important to have close friends. Online dating is like shopping.....I think these days it's easier to sell yourself to people in person vs letting someone judge your image.

Those are good starting points I'd advise you to consider. Don't lose hope. And don't pick tags that make you identify with quitters like Sodini or Rodger.

 

[Philip_2006]

Fair enough; then what are you saying with those figures and statements?

I've tried to clarify my intent.

 

[ElFewja]

I apologize for taking the thread off topic. While I don't particularly believe in the idea of derailing, since this really goes against the idea of natural discourse and discussion, I also recognize that I maybe shouldn't have engaged in an off-beat discussion here. I just saw a topic I topic that I wanted to discuss. I don't believe Philly had any intent of taking us off course, rather that he was just making a statement against someone else. I also think the discussion has more or less concluded and so doesn't necessitate another thread. But, yeah, I should have gone to pms, that's my bad.

With each post in here I keep thinking about how to comment on the op, but I don't feel confident or comfortable enough in the subject matter to do so. I don't have asbergers -- that I know of -- and so I don't think my opinions on the matter are helpful or relevant. The only real bits of anything that I'm ok with offering are that everyone is beautiful in their own way, and that it's ok to be single/not engaged in sexual activities. What I mean, essentially, is that you should try to overcome your negative attitude or outlook of yourself. That makes a huge difference in life. I do want to contribute more, but like I said, I don't think my opinions are necessarily appropriate here.

 

[chicago]

I'll throw some ideas at this thread, and keep in mind that there's no magical spark that will snap you out of your issues. Socializing, just like a job, is work. Extroverts likely will fare easier at it than introverts.

First. ...find perfection in imperfection. I get why you identify as "incel" but it's been identified as a red (dangerous) flag. Look at things this way. Every tag you give yourself is everything you have to present to other people. Do you really want the dark cloud personality of being a horny, angry, bitter person? That's what incel and PUA communities don't get. It's unappealing. So embrace things you're good at. Or your interests. But you can always be awkward. Nothing wrong with awkward. Socializing can be enjoyably awkward. But assimilating (taking small cues from others) is useful. So you're 25, you're on your own, wanting to do sports, meet people. ...have you checked out meetup.com? Not a bad idea to find things that are your bag. Posture? I hope you've been encouraged to stand up straight, greet people with a smile and just hold regular conversation. You ultimately have to open up to people.

Don't rule people out if things don't pan out initially. That was a mistake I feel I made when I'd try to find dates and some women I met would be a little "cold fish" (shy/sheepish/squeamish). Add in that I wanted tickling and it was a difficult time. Years later I met someone who I had a bit of an awkward dinner with. I initially kind of went quiet. But we had a conversational chemistry so I kept going. Eventually I mentioned I liked tickling. Go figure she's who I see regularly now. It started off with "I'm not sure what I can handle" and when I tickled her she admitted it tickled her both ways 😉. Try to work in chemistry with everybody. It's important to have close friends. Online dating is like shopping.....I think these days it's easier to sell yourself to people in person vs letting someone judge your image.

Those are good starting points I'd advise you to consider. Don't lose hope. And don't pick tags that make you identify with quitters like Sodini or Rodger.

Some good advice in here