How to get rid of fetish?

[Jemer1]

People, I have a question - you know how to get rid of fetish?

 

[Rectangle]

As a man who has fought against this, prayed against this, wept over this and who went all out celibate and lived at a monastery in the middle of the desert for a year trying to overcome this..

..please trust that I know where I'm coming from when I say this..

Your fetish is not going away.
It's just not.

I fought this thing as if my soul itself was at stake, living in silence, examining every thought, countering every swelling of this passion in my heart with prayer, fasting, going nights on end with little to no sleep, weeping over my nature..

...and it's still here.


Accept it as a part of yourself. This is who you are.
It doesn't make you weird, or guilty, or sinful, or damned.
This is you.

I posted a similar thread on here in the early 2000's on another lost-to-time account, asking what you're asking.
People told me what I'm telling you.

I could have saved myself a lot of time and tears if I'd have listened.

 

[Mrcool]

Rectangle How come everything you say is just so god damn beautiful

 

[Jemer1]

It must be fetish greatly disturbed you in past, if you decided to live in a monastery, no?
And also - what if fetishes have different stages of "stucks in head", and for one person its effect is weaker than the other?
Sorry for poor english, friends.

 

[duderino84]

As a man who has fought against this, prayed against this, wept over this and who went all out celibate and lived at a monastery in the middle of the desert for a year trying to overcome this..

..please trust that I know where I'm coming from when I say this..

Your fetish is not going away.
It's just not.

I fought this thing as if my soul itself was at stake, living in silence, examining every thought, countering every swelling of this passion in my heart with prayer, fasting, going nights on end with little to no sleep, weeping over my nature..

...and it's still here.


Accept it as a part of yourself. This is who you are.
It doesn't make you weird, or guilty, or sinful, or damned.
This is you.

I posted a similar thread on here in the early 2000's on another lost-to-time account, asking what you're asking.
People told me what I'm telling you.

I could have saved myself a lot of time and tears if I'd have listened.

So celibacy wasn't an adventure? 😀

 

[Rectangle]

So celibacy wasn't an adventure? 😀

You can learn stuff about yourself when your whole focus in life is to basically not focus on sex.
Well, not the whole focus, but a good bit of it.

It's funny though, my "sex" drive died a lot easier than my "tickle" drive did.
Neither went away.
There was a lot of talk about reaching a state of "dispassion" eventually once you were sanctified enough.
I never saw it.

I do miss the monastery sometimes, it was quiet and every ounce of work felt like it had meaning to it.
I learned how to grow one hell of a cucumber garden, how to kill a rattler with a snake whip, that Greek is a hard language to learn and that jumping chollas can fuck up your day.

Edit: Sweeeerving back on topic.

Yeah. The fetish isn't going anywhere man.

 

[Wolf]

People, I have a question - you know how to get rid of fetish?

I guess the question to ask would be why would you want to get rid of it?

 

[Jemer1]

I guess the question to ask would be why would you want to get rid of it?

Well, because I wanna be a normal person with normal preferences in sexual life.

 

[FeatherEndeavor]

Well, because I wanna be a normal person with normal preferences in sexual life.

There's been recent research showing that between 30-40% of people are kinky to a point or have at least tried something kinky. So you're not as abnormal as you think.

 

[Rectangle]

Well, because I wanna be a normal person with normal preferences in sexual life.

Doesn't exist my friend.
We all play the cards we're dealt.


Invest your energy instead into expressing "the kink" in a healthy way and in doing the internal work necessary to figure out where it fits within your identity.

We live in a world of fetishes now, I saw a recent estimate that put the number of guys with a foot fetish as high as one in every four.
That's just one fetish.

The "Fifty Shades of Grey" books have sold more than 135 million copies worldwide.
That's within ten million people of being the entire population of the Russian Federation, all at least entertaining the idea of being enticed by someone being tied up and abused.


It's a new world out here man, and it's not that people's sexual tastes are changing, it's that society is coming to terms with the fact that "normal" sexuality hasn't existed all along.

So in that regard, you are normal, in that you are unique, like everyone else.


Let me make it clearer.

There were cave men with tickling fetishes.
There were ancient Sumerians tickling their wives to get aroused.
There was laughter coming out of a house in ancient Rome because of someone like us.
Napoleon marched on the capitals of Europe with more than a few soldiers who would be among us here on the TMF if they were alive today.
This "kink" is not unique to us here in this time, it has always existed as long as humanity has.


You're not weird man. You're not abnormal. You're human.
Embrace it.

 

[duderino84]

You can learn stuff about yourself when your whole focus in life is to basically not focus on sex.
Well, not the whole focus, but a good bit of it.

It's funny though, my "sex" drive died a lot easier than my "tickle" drive did.
Neither went away.
There was a lot of talk about reaching a state of "dispassion" eventually once you were sanctified enough.
I never saw it.

I do miss the monastery sometimes, it was quiet and every ounce of work felt like it had meaning to it.
I learned how to grow one hell of a cucumber garden, how to kill a rattler with a snake whip, that Greek is a hard language to learn and that jumping chollas can fuck up your day.

Edit: Sweeeerving back on topic.

Yeah. The fetish isn't going anywhere man.

You never say "fuck it, I'm tired, this is a lot of effort over a fix"? Sounds like you learned some stuff that beat out nookie at some point.

There's been recent research showing that between 30-40% of people are kinky to a point or have at least tried something kinky. So you're not as abnormal as you think.

Like women admitting large scale adrenaline pumped CGI battles in movies like lord of the rings makes them horny? (Heard this before. ) Kind of distant from tickling, no?

 

[Rectangle]

You never say "fuck it, I'm tired, this is a lot of effort over a fix"? Sounds like you learned some stuff that beat out nookie at some point.

Pretty much thought I was possessed at one point, and that's why it wouldn't go away.

 

[duderino84]

Pretty much thought I was possessed at one point, and that's why it wouldn't go away.

In a way.....sure!

Well, even tho I'm playing devil's advocate here, I'm trying to say with some neutrality that it can be a bit difficult. By difficult I mean a double-edged sword. Some Guys that are not us can probably see it as softcore/dumb. Women can see it as torture, odd, and basically as unappealing as ....well, everything guys look for from them. Like I've recently heard "you like what you like, I like what I like".

It can be a benefit. It probably makes you a bit unique, no? That's not something to scoff at. But don't be hasty about it. ....just relax and things will work out.

 

[Jemer1]

I live among serious people, and my fetish will not be adequately understanded in my community.
I would like to get aroused by normal things - tits, ass, that sort of things, but not the idea "WELL, l WANT TO IMMOBILIZE HER IN THE STOCKS AND TICKLE AFTER THAT"
I can't realize this fetish in my life, this is unacceptable. That's why I came here, asking for advice, how to get rid of it.

Certainly medics have developed a methods for treatmeant such defects, but what methods?

 

[FeatherEndeavor]

Certainly medics have developed a methods for treatmeant such defects, but what methods?

Well I guess what we're saying is you're different, but different is not defective. And even though you live among serious people there are enough people with fetishes that there must be someone else in your community that has a fetish whether it be tickling or something else. You think you're alone where you are but trust me you're not. And you and the other people in you're community with fetishes are not bad you're just unique. Don't concentrate so much on trying to be normal, just be you whatever that may be.

 

[Rectangle]

I live among serious people, and my fetish will not be adequately understanded in my community.
I would like to get aroused by normal things - tits, ass, that sort of things, but not the idea "WELL, l WANT TO IMMOBILIZE HER IN THE STOCKS AND TICKLE AFTER THAT"
I can't realize this fetish in my life, this is unacceptable. That's why I came here, asking for advice, how to get rid of it.

Certainly medics have developed a methods for treatmeant such defects, but what methods?

I don't know what to tell you man.
Any "therapy" to get rid of fetishes were disproven alongside "gay conversion therapy" and stuff like that.
General scientific consensus is that you can't get rid of a deep seated fetish, or at least that the science isn't there to do it right now.

There's no magic bullet. No reliable treatment.
You can try to suppress it, but it's always going to be there.
It would be like asking "How can I not be attracted to women anymore?"

I wish you luck man. I really do. You've got a long, hard, sad road ahead if you're planning on trying to fight an innate part of yourself.

 

[Jemer1]

You've got a long, hard, sad road ahead if you're planning on trying to fight an innate part of yourself.

That's the point - it is not innate.
Most people recieve their fetishes in childhood, in some circumstances, they just do not remember it. About gays - here thing a little different - here we see even more powerful defect, changing the basis of gender perceptions. Our fetishes mostly concentrate on usual perception - man tickle woman, that kind of thing. So it's not the same as "gay conversion therapy", I think.

I read a few stories - people trying save themselves from fetishes with help of religion. But what if we try another method - science?
We can cure mental illness, and can't cure tickle-fetish? I will try found an answer.

Yea, and thanks for wishing me luck 🙂

 

[IHaveAFetish]

That's the point - it is not innate.
Most people recieve their fetishes in childhood, in some circumstances, they just do not remember it. About gays - here thing a little different - here we see even more powerful defect, changing the basis of gender perceptions. Our fetishes mostly concentrate on usual perception - man tickle woman, that kind of thing. So it's not the same as "gay conversion therapy", I think.

I read a few stories - people trying save themselves from fetishes with help of religion. But what if we try another method - science?
We can cure mental illness, and can't cure tickle-fetish? I will try found an answer.

Yea, and thanks for wishing me luck 🙂

Have you considered that people weren't always open about their sexual attraction to "normal" things? Enjoying tits or ass is still a kink, one that was accepted through the media controlling what is seen as acceptable. The people that wont accept you are either ignorant or insecure, therefore their opinion doesn't mean squat.

 

[saratk]

I don't think it's something you can get rid of. BUT in my experience, if you can accept it as part of you, and even open up about and see others accepting it, it diminishes in shame, and so it becomes less of a part of your life. It's still something you like, something that turns you on, but by removing shame and secrecy, it becomes less of an obsession.

 

[torturoustickle]

Well, because I wanna be a normal person with normal preferences in sexual life.

Normal is the setting on a washing machine my friend.
We are all individuals with our own likes, dislikes, desires, fetishes, etc.
Trying to deny or change who you are, rather than embrace it is something I find sad.
And as for calling it a defect?? .....................

 

[Jemer1]

The fact that my life, my vision of life, and this fetish - absolutely incompatible. Community will not understand this, for various reasons - but and it still will affect on my reputation.

And as for calling it a defect?? .....................

Well, you think, wish to conclude a woman in the stocks and tickle her, instead of wanting to have sex with her - which is naturally and normal thing of human being - this is not a defect?

 

[torturoustickle]

It has been well pointed out that tickling, as well as many other fetishes have been around for centuries.
So what you are saying is that the many thousands, probably hundreds of thousands of people who have had ANY type
of fetish in that time are all defective in some way.
That is a massively huge insult to a lot of people simply because you refuse to embrace who you are, and don't see tickling
in your vision for life!!

 

[Jemer1]

I called this a defect in my case, I have not insulted anyone. For me - it's defect. If for you it isn't - very well.
I have my opinion like everyone else.
And, by the way, it's a fact. In medical practice, it is called sexual deviation. What insult do you see here?

 

[Wolf]

Well, because I wanna be a normal person with normal preferences in sexual life.

What do you think is normal, and what would be the benefit in trying to fit that definition?

 

[Sandisk444]

I think a lot of people are kind of nitpicking what the guy is saying and taking it personally, he's not a native English speaker. I'm sure most, if not all of us have gone through this thought process when coming to grips with our fetish. There is an undeniable "norm" that is present in our society and when people deviate from it, it can be grounds for ridicule and in some places even violence and persecution. It does make sense to see yourself as defective or a deviant because of that and it's not helping to challenge the guy with his choice of wording when you should know what he means.

With that being said, I honestly don't think repression and attempts to contain your desires are a healthy thing. It will lead to you being incredibly unhappy and feeling unsatisfied in your relationships. As far as I'm aware, there is no medical treatment for fetishes and psychological treatment seems to only go as far as stopping you from acting on your urges. The best thing you can do is come to terms with the fact that this is a part of you and it always will be BUT also come to terms with the fact that it's not really a bad thing. The more you try to fight against it, the more you're going to be thinking about it which is kind of counter productive. Coming to grips with it means you just carry on with your life and accepting that you're going to wonder if people are ticklish and fantasize about them being tickled. It doesn't have to control your life or anything and if you find that you can't control yourself with it, then seek psychological help to control your urges.