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How to get rid of fetish?

Sandisk444 said:
I think a lot of people are kind of nitpicking what the guy is saying and taking it personally, he's not a native English speaker. I'm sure most, if not all of us have gone through this thought process when coming to grips with our fetish. There is an undeniable "norm" that is present in our society and when people deviate from it, it can be grounds for ridicule and in some places even violence and persecution. It does make sense to see yourself as defective or a deviant because of that and it's not helping to challenge the guy with his choice of wording when you should know what he means.

With that being said, I honestly don't think repression and attempts to contain your desires are a healthy thing. It will lead to you being incredibly unhappy and feeling unsatisfied in your relationships. As far as I'm aware, there is no medical treatment for fetishes and psychological treatment seems to only go as far as stopping you from acting on your urges. The best thing you can do is come to terms with the fact that this is a part of you and it always will be BUT also come to terms with the fact that it's not really a bad thing. The more you try to fight against it, the more you're going to be thinking about it which is kind of counter productive. Coming to grips with it means you just carry on with your life and accepting that you're going to wonder if people are ticklish and fantasize about them being tickled. It doesn't have to control your life or anything and if you find that you can't control yourself with it, then seek psychological help to control your urges.
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Very good advice.
I think a lot of people would be so much happier if they just accepted who they were, were open about it (when circumstances warranted) and stopped obsessing.
Repression is what screws people up.
 
Hmmmm

Jemer1 said:
Well, because I wanna be a normal person with normal preferences in sexual life.
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What is "normal"? Is normal simply defined by the preference of the majority? I'd encourage you to look at people with Vanilla or "normal" sexual preferences and note what their "Turn Offs" are. You're gonna hear or see some pretty crazy things! I'm afraid you have a very narrow view on this. People are so beautifully different that labeling such things as normal or abnormal. Of course we are talking about preferences between consenting adults.
 
I don't think you can get rid of a fetish.. It's something that's hard-wired into you.. What you can do is learn to control it.. And embrace it when you want to.. I have found how to control mine.. It does not control me.. I think that's the answer.:serenity:
 
Jemer1 said:
The fact that my life, my vision of life, and this fetish - absolutely incompatible. Community will not understand this, for various reasons - but and it still will affect on my reputation.
...wish to conclude a woman in the stocks and tickle her, instead of wanting to have sex with her - which is naturally and normal thing of human being - this is not a defect?
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It is. It is absolutely a defect and a major flaw in life. For me at least, I can't speak for anyone else. And I completely understand what you are going through. There is no cure, I'm sorry to inform you. You'll just have to learn to live with it. It's a crappy life, I know, but what are you going to do. i gave up on love about four years ago because of this fetish. No hugs, no kisses, no sex, no nothing and I'm still alive at least. I guess that's something. It's better for me to be alone than to be with someone with whom I can't completely be myself. It's just not for me. I am truly sorry if you feel the same way. Like I said, it's a crappy life indeed.
 
marbot said:
It is. It is absolutely a defect and a major flaw in life. For me at least, I can't speak for anyone else. And I completely understand what you are going through. There is no cure, I'm sorry to inform you. You'll just have to learn to live with it. It's a crappy life, I know, but what are you going to do. i gave up on love about four years ago because of this fetish. No hugs, no kisses, no sex, no nothing and I'm still alive at least. I guess that's something. It's better for me to be alone than to be with someone with whom I can't completely be myself. It's just not for me. I am truly sorry if you feel the same way. Like I said, it's a crappy life indeed.
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Plenty of people have fetishes (and this one is fairly benign) and are perfectly happy.
Ever stop to think that maybe it's not the fetish that's the problem?
 
marbot said:
It is. It is absolutely a defect and a major flaw in life. For me at least, I can't speak for anyone else. And I completely understand what you are going through. There is no cure, I'm sorry to inform you. You'll just have to learn to live with it. It's a crappy life, I know, but what are you going to do. i gave up on love about four years ago because of this fetish. No hugs, no kisses, no sex, no nothing and I'm still alive at least. I guess that's something. It's better for me to be alone than to be with someone with whom I can't completely be myself. It's just not for me. I am truly sorry if you feel the same way. Like I said, it's a crappy life indeed.
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Hmmmmmm..... a crappy life? Because you enjoy tickling a woman? Ummmm I'm confused. My wife and I are together over 26 years. She does not, in anyway shape or form, share my interest in tickling her little feet. I do not need to tickle her to get aroused or to make love to her but she indulges my interest because she loves me. I in return do not tickle her all the time because I love her. If you are with the right person you OR THEY will go to great lengths to please them and satisfy the desires. I think tickling is pretty darn tame compared to some of the stuff out there (not judging). I'm truly sorry that you have sunk into a state of self-pity but if I can find my love than ANYONE CAN! I'm a bearded hairy beast!
 
I don't want to get rid of my fetishes (erotic interests). I want to enjoy them. :bouncybou
 
Anyway, thank you all for attention to this thread. I think, I will find a solution of that problem.
 
Trying to have your fetishes "cured" is, to my mind, like going to one of those frauds who try to make gay people straight, for a fee of course.

Lots of communities regard unusual but otherwise harmless fetishes in a negative light, just as they used to view homosexuality that way not that long ago. In my opinion, those communities have some serious growing up to do. If they refuse to tolerate your fetish, then you need to get out and find a more tolerant place to live, simple as that.
 
I've tried getting rid of my fetish for many reasons. I've tried to hide I have it, I've tried to pretend it doesn't exist. At the end of the day, its a part of who you are and you have to learn to control and embrace it.
 
It wont go away so be happy its just tickling. Imagine if your fetish revolved around something dark, whatever you imagine that is. Some fetishes are 'sick.' This is far from that man
 
I do not only enjoy tickling a woman, I NEED to, almost all the time. And that's the reason we're not the same. You don't actually have a tickle fetish. You said it yourself:

JaySnow said:
"...I do not need to tickle her to get aroused or to make love to her but she indulges my interest because she loves me..."
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For you - it's interest, for me - sexual fetish. Plus I was wondering...If she by any chance refuses to indulge your interests, does that means she doesn't love you?
 
marbot said:
I do not only enjoy tickling a woman, I NEED to, almost all the time. And that's the reason we're not the same. You don't actually have a tickle fetish. You said it yourself:



For you - it's interest, for me - sexual fetish. Plus I was wondering...If she by any chance refuses to indulge your interests, does that means she doesn't love you?
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Umm first off you don't "Need to". You're not chemically addicted. Just because I dont need to tickle her to get aroused means nothing, the issue is I get aroused when I tickle her. I assume you don't get aroused by tickle videos since you're not actually doing the tickling. Btw, she refuses to indulge me interest often but also does accommodate me. Your question is a a juvenile one. Why not ask, "If she refuses sex does that mean she doesn't love you?" It's because I'm in a long term MARRIAGE of over 26 years it gives me a little more perspective. You gave up on relationships four years ago. Your words not mine. But hey, YOU CHOOSE to be miserable, I choose not to be. Now go ahead and argue why it's better for you to be miserable LOL.
 
Rectangle said:
Doesn't exist my friend.
Let me make it clearer.

There were cave men with tickling fetishes.
There were ancient Sumerians tickling their wives to get aroused.
There was laughter coming out of a house in ancient Rome because of someone like us.
Napoleon marched on the capitals of Europe with more than a few soldiers who would be among us here on the TMF if they were alive today.
This "kink" is not unique to us here in this time, it has always existed as long as humanity has.
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OK, it bring so many ideas for a fiction stories 😀
 
I don't know why I'm bothering...yes I do...it's because this fetish is an integral part of me, so I'm compelled to revisit here, as painful as it is.

I agree, this fetish cannot be got rid of. If it could, I would join the queue. Then, celibacy would stop being this sexual purgatory, knowing exactly what I need for fulfilment, with neither a memory nor realistic hope of it actually happening.

Best wishes to those of us who understand the realities of our own situation, that make this fetish a difficult burden, not a joyous blessing.
 
i want to get rid of my fetish too. one of my ex knew about this and he said it doesnt suit me.
 
TS41 said:
I don't know why I'm bothering...yes I do...it's because this fetish is an integral part of me, so I'm compelled to revisit here, as painful as it is.

I agree, this fetish cannot be got rid of. If it could, I would join the queue. Then, celibacy would stop being this sexual purgatory, knowing exactly what I need for fulfilment, with neither a memory nor realistic hope of it actually happening.

Best wishes to those of us who understand the realities of our own situation, that make this fetish a difficult burden, not a joyous blessing.
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Agree and disagree. Nothing wrong with the fetish itself, but I think a lot of the "porn" for us can exacerbate the issue (making us want more than is realistically feasible).

Generally as I'm talking with women lately there is some general acceptance that tickling can be "a thing".
 
Skyla_me said:
i want to get rid of my fetish too. one of my ex knew about this and he said it doesnt suit me.
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He doesn't like you happy? Tickling happens; whether or not we decide to embrace that it happens determines happiness.
 
Jemer1 said:
Anyway, thank you all for attention to this thread. I think, I will find a solution of that problem.
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Jemer, It seems like you are sharing two potential issues:

1) Tickling is what you want to do, and other "normal" sexual stuff doesn't arouse you.

2) You live in a place or culture where this is not acceptable.

When I was younger, tickling and feet were the only things I cared about. As I began to satisfy some of those urges as a young man, I started to like the other "normal" stuff a lot. It took time and patience to overcome the potential embarrassment associated with a fetish, and begin to explore these fantasies in-depth with women I was dating. But once I did I developed a broader range of "normal" interests.

I'm writing all this to just say that you will not find a "cure", only a lot of frustration if you try to not have this fetish. I think your answer is to develop relationships with girls you like, and slowly introduce them to tickling. You don't have to show her a pair of stocks, ask if she would like to get tickled, etc, on your first encounter. Spend time with her, decide whether you like each other, and slowly incorporate the fetish into your relationship. There are a lot of threads on this forum that give more detailed advice on specifics, but take it slow, and don't make such a big deal out of it. You will get more of what you want in #1 above, and avoid many of the issues associated with #2 because you will be in a relationship where this will likely work better. Hope it works out for you man. I think things will get better for you, so don't give up.
 
I think it's great to see people out there that are actually supportive of others. You seem like a genuinely nice guy Rectangle. Just wanted to throw that out there. Seems like that is a hard thing to find in people these days.

Rectangle said:
As a man who has fought against this, prayed against this, wept over this and who went all out celibate and lived at a monastery in the middle of the desert for a year trying to overcome this..

34sqahg.jpg


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..please trust that I know where I'm coming from when I say this..

Your fetish is not going away.
It's just not.

I fought this thing as if my soul itself was at stake, living in silence, examining every thought, countering every swelling of this passion in my heart with prayer, fasting, going nights on end with little to no sleep, weeping over my nature..

...and it's still here.


Accept it as a part of yourself. This is who you are.
It doesn't make you weird, or guilty, or sinful, or damned.
This is you.

I posted a similar thread on here in the early 2000's on another lost-to-time account, asking what you're asking.
People told me what I'm telling you.

I could have saved myself a lot of time and tears if I'd have listened.
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