Priorities
A woman is drying herself after a shower when she suddenly slips over and lands spread legged on the bathroom floor. She tries to stand up again but realizes that she landed so hard that her vagina has stuck to the floor creating such a vacuum that she can't move.
She calls out to her husband for help. He tries with all his strength to lift her up but she won't budge. So he goes next door and gets the neighbor. Both of them are pulling like oxen but she just won't move. She is truly stuck to the floor.
Suddenly the neighbour says, "Why don't we just get a hammer and break the tiles around her legs and lift her that way?"
"Great idea," says the husband, "But let me rub her boobs a little to arouse her."
"Why?" asks a confused neighbor.
"She'll need the lubrication so I can slide her over into the kitchen. The tiles are cheaper in there."
Happy Marriage
A couple were celebrating their Golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
Well, it dates back to our honeymoon, explained the husband. We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule...........
We hadn`t gone too far when my wife`s mule stumbled. My wife quietly said `That`s once.`
We proceeded a little further when the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, `That`s twice.'
We hadn`t gone a half mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My wife promptly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the mule in the head.
I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said, `That`s once.`
A woman is drying herself after a shower when she suddenly slips over and lands spread legged on the bathroom floor. She tries to stand up again but realizes that she landed so hard that her vagina has stuck to the floor creating such a vacuum that she can't move.
She calls out to her husband for help. He tries with all his strength to lift her up but she won't budge. So he goes next door and gets the neighbor. Both of them are pulling like oxen but she just won't move. She is truly stuck to the floor.
Suddenly the neighbour says, "Why don't we just get a hammer and break the tiles around her legs and lift her that way?"
"Great idea," says the husband, "But let me rub her boobs a little to arouse her."
"Why?" asks a confused neighbor.
"She'll need the lubrication so I can slide her over into the kitchen. The tiles are cheaper in there."
Happy Marriage
A couple were celebrating their Golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
Well, it dates back to our honeymoon, explained the husband. We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule...........
We hadn`t gone too far when my wife`s mule stumbled. My wife quietly said `That`s once.`
We proceeded a little further when the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, `That`s twice.'
We hadn`t gone a half mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My wife promptly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the mule in the head.
I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said, `That`s once.`
