How to tell your Partner about your fetish?

[ticklee4life]

Been dating a girl for over a year. We're pretty comfortable... she tickles me sometimes, but get's genuinely angry when I tickle her for more than 5 seconds. How should I tell her I want her to tie me up and tickle me bat-shit-crazy, without coming off as too weird?

I know most people will say things like "just do it," but I'm nervous about how she'll react to the whole thing.

Thanks in advance!

 

[DianaBanana88]

Go into it a step at a time. Best way to do this type of thing. I wouldnt bring everything up in one convo. Like start with asking if she would be cool with tying you up and then take it from there ya know? If she does ever tie you up you could probably just slip in the tickling by mentioning it somehow lol. Just going into it might sound weird to her so ya but this is just my opinion lol hope it helps some

 

[ticklee4life]

Go into it a step at a time. Best way to do this type of thing. I wouldnt bring everything up in one convo. Like start with asking if she would be cool with tying you up and then take it from there ya know? If she does ever tie you up you could probably just slip in the tickling by mentioning it somehow lol. Just going into it might sound weird to her so ya but this is just my opinion lol hope it helps some

Good idea! We just added blindfolds into our sex life, and that has spiced it up a bit! Tying up would be a good thing before tickling... but I'm not sure how to go from tying up to tickling?

She's the type of girl who would probably do it if it made me happy... but she might still think it's weird. And I don't want her telling all her friends about my little fetish!

Thank you for your help 🙂 I wish you and your tickle master could tickle torture ME haha. Thanks again!

 

[Mitchell]

I've always felt that complete lees have it easier than lers or switches, for this reason. With as many vanilla people who hate to be tickled, it would seem easier to say, "I would love if you could please tickle me", rather than "I find tickling a turn on, can I tickle you?" The latter places a person who may not want to be tickled, into an uncomfortable position.

Now, as to tell your gf you want her to tickle you. Diana has an excellent point, about doing it in stages. The asking her to tie you up would work, and then, I would try to sneak it in, by casually saying "Remember those times you tickled me? I really liked that. Would you mind if we did it some more?" Try to show her you enjoyed it, and that it's a desire, without pressuring her, or making it a demand.

I'm in a different boat than you, in a way. While I'm both ler and lee, and would be okay with either tickling, or being tickled, I probably would bring up my foot fetish first, as it's just a body part, and then ease into tickling gradually.

Sorry if that's a bit off topic, but my second paragraph, as well as what Diana said, is, to me, sound advice. Good Luck to you. I hope your gf is understanding about your desires of being tied and tickled.

Mitch

 

[DianaBanana88]

Ya like once she ties you up maybe you could sneak the tickling part in. If she touches your stomach or something just say "oh that tickles..." and maybe she'll get the hint. Haha you could be sneaky about it. I also agree with mitch. Good luck though! 😀

 

[ticklee4life]

Thank both of you! Mitch your response was very well-written and helpful. People like you guys are making me like this community more and more. Everyone is so friendly.

Buuuuut, back on topic:

ONE time, when I was drunk I sent her a text that said I had a dream she tied me up and tickled me and I liked it. She was out of town and said 'ya let's try that,' but it never happened, and it was quite a while ago. maybe I could incorporate it with that somehow?

I'm actually a switch, but I get more turned on from being a lee. (Not to mention she would be immensely more comfortable with it, as Mitch explained) so I'm just going for lee with her. I tickle her all the time, but she actually get's mad she doesn't like it very much. Last weekend she even said, "I think you have a fetish or something for tickling it's weird you like tickling me so much." I should have man-upped and said that I DO have a tickling fetish, but instead I was like "no, haha I just like tickling you it's fun."

I'll try gradually going into it. Thank you guys a lot for your helpful advice, hopefully I get some more 🙂

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks, Diana.

TY, ticklee4life. I'm glad that my response was helpful to you.

I'm uncomfortable with one thing that you said, life. The fact that she said "It's weird that you like tickling me so much". Unfortunately, that kind of reply, sounds to me like a bit of a put down on her part. It's one of two things, it sounds like. One, she thinks that tickling is "weird".. or.. two.. she thinks that you tickling her is weird.

I understand why you are being cautious. You care about her reaction, and what she thinks. That is very important. However, I think at some point, you are going to have to gently break the news to her. It seems like the most fair thing to do.


Good Luck. You seem like a good guy, and I genuinely hope things work out for you.

Mitch

 

[ticklee4life]

Thanks, Diana.

TY, ticklee4life. I'm glad that my response was helpful to you.

I'm uncomfortable with one thing that you said, life. The fact that she said "It's weird that you like tickling me so much". Unfortunately, that kind of reply, sounds to me like a bit of a put down on her part. It's one of two things, it sounds like. One, she thinks that tickling is "weird".. or.. two.. she thinks that you tickling her is weird.

I understand why you are being cautious. You care about her reaction, and what she thinks. That is very important. However, I think at some point, you are going to have to gently break the news to her. It seems like the most fair thing to do.

Yeah. I know what you mean, but at the same time she responded positively to the idea of me being tied up and tickled... it just never happened/we never followed through with it.

Thank you for understanding where I'm coming from, and for your thoughtful response. I also hope it works out!

You seem very nice. I hope I see you around the more I frequent the TMF. (I'm sure I will.)

Have a good one!

 

[Mitchell]

YW, my friend. Thanks for saying I'm nice. I try. You will definitely see me around. I'm usually on every day at some point, unless there's a storm or an unexpected problem with my mom, who if you haven't read my other posts, is being treated for cancer, and sometimes has setbacks.

Seriously, I hope all works out for you. I know what it is to put a lot of time and effort into something. I've done it, and unfortunately, it didnt work out. I hope your experience turns out better than mine did.

Mitch

 

[ticklee4life]

YW, my friend. Thanks for saying I'm nice. I try. You will definitely see me around. I'm usually on every day at some point, unless there's a storm or an unexpected problem with my mom, who if you haven't read my other posts, is being treated for cancer, and sometimes has setbacks.

Seriously, I hope all works out for you. I know what it is to put a lot of time and effort into something. I've done it, and unfortunately, it didnt work out. I hope your experience turns out better than mine did.

Mitch

Thank you again. So sorry to hear of your mother, I hope she get's better.

See you around Mitch!

 

[DianaBanana88]

Glad that worked out for ya chuckle.

 

[Rustenexcel87]

Ticklee4life Perhaps you might also want to take time to make it all about her for some time. Find out what turns her on, it need not be a kink persay but just something simple like a back rub or being slowly kissed on the nape of the neck. Once you find the stuff that get's her going keep at it do it frequently. Go out of your way to make her feel special. Perhaps the more effort you show whith her she might be more willing to satisfy your needs later. Keep asking what more you can do. It might not be anything even sexual. I dated a girl in college who found it hot when I would read her poetry. One night we we just cuddling on her couch and I pulled out a book of love poems and just started reading to her. She was so taken back and found it so romantic that she told me she wanted to do something for me. I'm sorry to say that at that time I was still ashamed of my fetish and chickened out asking her to tickle me senceless; however, I have since become more open with who I am and have no problem admiting to my fetish now. Admiting to your fetish might be hard as it was for me but I can tell you any "outsider" I ever told thought my fetish was tame compared to other things people are doing out there.

Bes of luck. Hope things go your way.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks for your good wishes, pal.

Mitch