how would you explain the love/hate element?

[SadCuzNotTcklsh]

How would you explain the love/hate thing to a vanilla? What exactly do you hate and what exactly do you love? And why is it not all love, and all hate? How can it be both simultaneously?

 

[milagros317]

The way I explained it to Goddess Shelly once was this:
When you had been digging in to my armpits and ribs without a break for ten minutes, I hated it and I was desperate for you to stop. But not ten seconds after you stopped, I was desperate for you to start up again, for twice as long.

 

[rhiannon]

It's more like a thing of not being able to stand it for long, but still wanting to go on....that's the conflict of it all.

 

[-Hari-]

Love/hate suggests that you feel both at once, thats a head fuck even if you DO "get it" But I guess the best way is to relate it to other things, heres a rubbish but valid example, ya know those REALLY sour sweets you can get? they aren't very tasty, in fact they're horrible, but I like the scrunchy twisted faces they make me do. 😛

Its difficult because for those who genuinely love it and hate it its likely that they feel something that others don't and that's the ability to get enjoyment out of suffering, I hate being tickled when its happening but I do want it to continue and that makes no sense to a logically thinking person which is fine cause its not a logical sensation. getting someone to understand that is a nightmare if they don't feel that way about it. For them I guess its like trying to imagine a new colour.

 

[SusanLee53]

I guess for me it's the rush. I hate being tickled because it renders me completely helpless and with prolonged tickling, or someone who really knows what s/he is doing, a panic starts to build. That panic is like the upside of a roller coaster. It builds and builds and when I reach a point where I just surrender, it's like going over the top and plunging down. So...it's a rush 🙂

 

[Crazy Wabbit]

Hate

For me, I think it's a combination of two things. One being of ego and the other being a mind game. Where ego comes into play is, through tradition, males are supposed to be big bad and tough, where nothing phases us. If we end up getting cut, scraped, bruised, or any other kind of physical injury, we're pretty much programmed into shrugging it off and continuing on. However, if you're ticklish, you might be able to withstand and hold it back, but eventually you're going to break because you can't shut off that part of you like you can with pain. It's also a matter of control. Imagine yourself being a marionette. The thought that someone knows what gets to you and how to push your buttons and the fact that they can control you emotionally and there's nothing that can be done to prevent it, such as if someone makes a nasty comment towards you, you can choose not to give that person the satisfaction by reacting to what they said. However, that doesn't work when you are being tickled.

How it can mess with your mind is if the tickler teases and taunts you by referring to it as a "weakness", "torture", or by just simply forcing you to admit that you like them doing it to you. And even though you may actually love it, you hate to admit it because to do so goes back to what I said about being a guy; you're being controlled as to what to say, how to feel, and what to think.

Love

I think somewhere in my psyche, I associate laughter with happiness and having fun. I have a tendency to be inhibited, uptight, tense, and even depressed. So, when someone tickles me, it can also be as if they are concerned about me and care enough to try to bring me out of what is troubling me at the time, whether it be lifting my spirits, getting me to relax or open up to them and/or the simple fact that I become flattered that they are paying me some attention and there is some form of attraction they see in me.

And if you think about it, being a submissive is not about being weak or being a wimp. As a matter of fact, it takes a lot of strength, courage, and trust in order to submit to someone because you are allowing yourself to become vulnerable to that person and relying on them not to betray you in any way.

 

[Freethought]

This...

I guess for me it's the rush. I hate being tickled because it renders me completely helpless and with prolonged tickling, or someone who really knows what s/he is doing, a panic starts to build. That panic is like the upside of a roller coaster. It builds and builds and when I reach a point where I just surrender, it's like going over the top and plunging down. So...it's a rush 🙂

 

[Bohemianne]

LEE's POV: You don't really call it hate. Perhaps, I should call it arousing discomfort (torture). Mutual tickling is nothing in the absence of sexual being who is too evil and enticed enough to ler it accordingly. In this case, bondage fuels it a lot. The maddening discomfort is the very thing you love. Without the feeling of conquest and subjection, it's lame. But that's just me.

 

[labgirl73]

LOVE these responses.

It's the same as when I had my face stuffed somewhere and I HATED it. It ended quickly because the other person thought I was freaking out (and I was). But damned if I don't want it to happen again.