Hunters vs. Gatherers.

[TheTicklist]

I'm a long time lurker, but have been intrigued by this thought, since I've never really gotten the full benefit of this board. It seems that maybe we can be broken down into two groups. I've seen a couple of posts alluding to this too.

The groups..besides the obvious ler/lee exist only on TMF and can be called:

Hunters - People who are looking to meet a person in private to tickle. People looking for a tickle friend, or mate, or two feet that pass in the night. Cyber chatters.. Unfortunately that group also includes predators, imposters.

I'm a hunter. I like to think the name romanticizes what Im doing, or makes it sexy, but Im looking to meet someone I can tickle with, fall in love with, and maybe just maybe, go to Cooperstown with.

Myself, Im private about the fetish , because its sexual for me. Its not some kind of social contact like group hugs. This is my libido.. wrapped up in a feather. So Im not going to be open about it. Its romance and sensuality. I'd no sooner discuss it in a group than I'd talk about one ladies nipples with another (okay.. given a few beers.. yeah.. I might slip).

I've always seen the gathering experience as sort of akin to the old 60s nudist colonies. It doesnt clck with me, but Im never going to knock it. It seems to make the majority here happy.

then there are the other group

the Gatherers - people who are open about their fetish, and are inclined to grow a network of tickler / ticklees and when the rare opportunity arises, they get together. The Gatherers are our Woodstock attendees. Each moment of the gathering is special and well documented and relived. They are friendly and warm to eachother, but (maybe understandably ) wary of the hunters.

They go to NEST. They know each other in the chat room. There's a bond. But its a covalent bond .. tight and maybe a bit exclusive. And Im not knocking that.

I'm not sure what Im driving at here. Maybe I sort of sense that the forum has maybe become a less friendly place for the hunters / browsers / chatters. Granted, again, we are bringing up the rear with the creep quotient.

But maybe all I have to say is.."cant we all get along.. " then maybe thats the question. I'd like to join in a conversation with getting 100% snub rate, or feeling like I just walked into the 4th season of "LOST".

I'm not knocking anyone for snubbing, or not being interested in chatting with someone who wont show his face . When you deal with one of us, its a crapshoot. No one is obligated to chat with me and Im nothing special (outside of rich and famous).

Maybe... just maybe.. a chat room, or sub board for us "hunters"? A place where iPMs are okay and not necessarily a sign of malice or perversion, but just the fact that some of us are private. If I'm going to wink, I want to do it in private. This board used to feel like a safe place for all, but I feel like those of us on the QT are getting a little stigmatized.

Maybe thats not the right word. Marginalized?

Write back folks.. or ignore me if my current streak holds true. Peace, Love and Understudies.

 

[deadlywiffeathr]

I respect your opinion, Ticklist. Even though i dont agree with it wholeheartedly. I have found these forums to be an expentionally friendly environment and i have never felt "snubbed" as you described it. I dont want to ramble on and confuse the matter so i'll just say....to get the most out the TMF you have to put yourself out there. I too, am very private about my fetish in real life but here i am open and welcoming to everything and everyone that is on offer 🙂

 

[♡AimLEE♡]

Wait ...
Can there be like a mix between hunters and gatherers?!
Because you're sayin' Hunters like to do things in private,
while gatherer's go to NEST and whatnot. Well, I like to go
to NEST, but I also like having private sessions. I will meet
people, but that doesn't mean I tell the whole world.
So what does that make me?!

I don't even know if you can lump people into these 2
different categories to be honest. In order to be "snubbed"
by the TMF you typically have to come off as uninviting and
rude. I like to think that the more "quiet" people aren't just
passed over ... I think it's more of an individual effort.
What you put into it, you get back.
Does that make any sense?

 

[drnkntklr]

I think the two categories leave little room for people such as Aimee above me who do not fit strictly into one category. I mean there are even people who don't necessarily come to the TMF to meet people to set up sessions in real life or go to gatherings, but just so they have somewhere to talk about their tickling fetish. Similarly, I don't think the TMF community as a whole is snubby, rather I think it is "clickly", something some may enjoy but others may not.

 

[rhiannon]

I don't fit strictly in one category either. I do private sessions only, but I am generally open about my fetish.

 

[Marquis De Sade]

What everyone else after the OP said. Especially Aimee. Two groups is being...I dunno. There are just more colors in the box of crayons that's the TMF you know?

Good idea on the separate "Hunter" sub-forum though. It does remind me a bit of the Personal section however, just a little more focused when it comes to an intent.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

List!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Long time no talk. 🙂

I identify more with the "Gatherer" side. But i'm a "Hunter" in some aspects too!

Awesome post.

 

[baldadonis]

I think your two groups are generally accurate but perhaps too imprecise. I attend gatherings but I am not open about my fetish with people in my vanilla life. And while I attend gatherings to hang out with dear friends, almost all serious play is in private sessions. And while I formed a bond with many other "gatherers" I am always happy to make new friends with anyone here if I think they are a nice, interesting person.

 

[KrazieDog]

I think your two groups are generally accurate but perhaps too imprecise. I attend gatherings but I am not open about my fetish with people in my vanilla life. And while I attend gatherings to hang out with dear friends, almost all serious play is in private sessions. And while I formed a bond with many other "gatherers" I am always happy to make new friends with anyone here if I think they are a nice, interesting person.

QFT The fact of it only being one of those two categories is a bit too narrow. There are more groups, and cross groups out there. I attend gatherings, rarely go to the chatroom (radio chat excluded because most from the chatroom don't go there) and yet I've made friends with people here from every walk. My current girlfriend pm'ed me out of the blue one day having never talked to me before. Same with one of my best friends in the world. Some I've met at gatherings, some from radio shows. I've had a visit here at my home that no one knew about at the time.

If anything I'd say the opposite group of the "gatherer or social people" would be those not yet comfortable with being social yet. Which is totally okay too. There are many layers that could cause that such as social anxiety, still trying to understand their fetish and how it fits in their life, some who just take a while to open up, etc. You could go on and on. But the way you describe the "hunter" using yourself as the example, is people here strictly here to either meet others on the down low, or a partner. That happens everyday with people from both groups.

I think labeling anyone a gatherer strictly because they are comfortable going to a gathering is unfair. Because they can still have every intention and/or need of the hunter. The gathering holds every possibility that the forum does, just in person. So to me, it's again about the social vs the not yet comfortable. For people who don't go to gatherings, its easy to make it out to something boring, an orgy, a big uncomfortable Sadie Hawkins dance, when in reality its a party/hangout/vacation weekend.

The human mind is complicated in the way it sees things, and on top of that, what it sees is influenced in it's processing of info, being biased by the owners experiences, traits, flaws, and emotions. It makes us think and believe things that aren't there. I see some people who make zero - shitty attempts to interact with people, then turn around and claim cliques(aka exclusiveness), then others who go so over the top in peoples faces and wonder the same as the other guy. I think just like in the real world, people still have to WANT to hang out with you/get to know/understand you for it to happen. Just like in the real world, its easier to get to know the social person that makes themselves available to it, vs the quiet, on the down low guy in the corner. Doesn't make it good or bad.

Either way good post List.

 

[TheTicklist]

The two groups concept got the ball rolling. I think conceptually it's sound, but obviously two sizes does not fit all.

Just as the holy grail of categories.. LEE and LER usually has some wiggle room. or GAY and STR8... Bi and good-bi. If a LEE pokes back, he's not a LER. He just poked back.

Let me say this to all the responders. I'm glad the thought stimulated discussion. Any time you try and fit the entire world into two boxes, the bottom of the boxes fall out. There are innumerable exceptions you can name.

Someone either Aimee or deadlywiffeather said it best.

"You get out of it what you put into it"

I put the thought out there, and poof, all of a sudden I feel like Im in the mix.

And they said it in a nice way, where as I was expecting to get hammered.
Sometimes its nice when the world exceeds your expectations, so I'll post again.
The post was a 2:00am HAM radio cry for help. A plea for a friend. A lot of people responded. They're not friends yet, but I don't feel like the Una-ticklist anymore.

Is this Pay it Forward 2????? We can only hope.

Hi Crys -- isn't she sumthin'? 🙂

 

[TheTicklist]

"Aimee said this tho ' :

In order to be "snubbed"
by the TMF you typically have to come off as uninviting and
rude. "

I think to say that's 100% true, is like saying that my categories are 100 percent precise.

I respectfully disagree with that. A person could be being "uninteresting" or "unestablished". I can't remember a rude or uninviting thing I've ever said (ahem.. unprovoked). But someone called me a "troll" once, as in "I troll for people..."

That was kind of rude ..

But (if Wanting to talk in Private) + (wanting to meet people) + (not wanting to talk tickle in group) = Troll.. then check my math.. lets see. I gues Im a troll.

But, am I??? Doesn't seem fair.

All I'm saying is.. just like there is a ton of wiggle room between categories, being rude or uninviting isn't the only reason you can't wedge yourself into a chat sometimes.

Agree?

 

[LD_Tickler]

I like your hunter/gatherer distinction. I agree with the criticisms of it but I think the metaphor has some interesting ideas to contribute. There are certainly different streams of community interaction, though they're not mutually exclusive. Hunters ftw.

I don't agree that us hunters are marginalized though - mostly because that word implies intent on the part of the marginalizers. Given the ultra-friendly, network expandiness of the gatherers, they're going to dominate the surface of the community for sure. That's not cruel or malicious, that's a given. Even so, there's plenty or ways the rest of us can be friendly and included.

Besides, if we were TOO included, we'd be gatherers too.

 

[MrMacphisto]

I'll put it this way... I think a third group exists... voyeurs

 

[lemoncake]

I think that you can change from a hunter to a gatherer and vice versa too.

 

[LD_Tickler]

I think that you can change from a hunter to a gatherer and vice versa too.

Yeah, I don't think everyone is either a hunter or a gatherer, but I think some of us fit reasonably well into these general, categorical frameworks.

Could be like a personality type indicator test, with either group representing an extreme preference on a spectrum.