Journia
3rd Level Blue Feather
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2006
- Messages
- 5,580
- Points
- 0
At least I feel like it right now, for some odd reason. I mean, I've felt this way before, but I've had a reason, and then I'd get over it. But right now, I just feel like I'm more evil than anyone on earth.
It's been going on for days, and I don't know why it is that I feel this way, and I think I'm actually starting to become darker in the soul because of it. I've been snipping and snapping at my loved ones, and I am more ruthless with those I know are weaker than me, in mind, body, and spirit, and have no qualms anymore with using them to my advantage.
I find I am talking to myself, and seeingthe person who is the subject of my rage as if they were there, and I at times shout at them, only to realize I'm still in a public place, then I look around, flip the bird and skidaddle.
The worst part about it is that I realize much of what I'm doing is wrong, but I don't care. I deeply enjoy the villainy and the evil. I remember a few days ago I was in a church, and reading a hymn book while the choir practice was going on, and I thought to myself, "What if there was a molotov Cocktail...boom right on the piano." I laughed hard to myself.
I gain much pleasure from my villainous desires and motivations of late ,and I think it's getting worse by the minute. Even myu skin is changing a bit. Two weeks ago, it was smooth, and youthful.
Now I look like I am a thirty-two year old.
I actually wonder if I'm possessed by something. Or being influenced by something. Especially since I don't generally do this, and this has come up only lately. Except for the talking to my self, that's been going on for a year or so.
It doesn't help that I saw a demonic entity once, does it?
Like I said, I feel like a horrible person, and I feel that I am getting deeper into the depravity. Perhaps this is a phase, but it feels too powerful to be such a thing.
But then, I didn't really go through the regular personality phases in my teenage years...but still.
This sucks.
And no, I'm not trollin'.
It's been going on for days, and I don't know why it is that I feel this way, and I think I'm actually starting to become darker in the soul because of it. I've been snipping and snapping at my loved ones, and I am more ruthless with those I know are weaker than me, in mind, body, and spirit, and have no qualms anymore with using them to my advantage.
I find I am talking to myself, and seeingthe person who is the subject of my rage as if they were there, and I at times shout at them, only to realize I'm still in a public place, then I look around, flip the bird and skidaddle.
The worst part about it is that I realize much of what I'm doing is wrong, but I don't care. I deeply enjoy the villainy and the evil. I remember a few days ago I was in a church, and reading a hymn book while the choir practice was going on, and I thought to myself, "What if there was a molotov Cocktail...boom right on the piano." I laughed hard to myself.
I gain much pleasure from my villainous desires and motivations of late ,and I think it's getting worse by the minute. Even myu skin is changing a bit. Two weeks ago, it was smooth, and youthful.
Now I look like I am a thirty-two year old.
I actually wonder if I'm possessed by something. Or being influenced by something. Especially since I don't generally do this, and this has come up only lately. Except for the talking to my self, that's been going on for a year or so.
It doesn't help that I saw a demonic entity once, does it?
Like I said, I feel like a horrible person, and I feel that I am getting deeper into the depravity. Perhaps this is a phase, but it feels too powerful to be such a thing.
But then, I didn't really go through the regular personality phases in my teenage years...but still.
This sucks.
And no, I'm not trollin'.
