I have a question to ask the women

[tickleteasing]

I know the fact that your on this site means that all things being equal you would like a man who is in to tickling. What I want to know is how do you prefer a man your interested in who is also interested in tickling approach tickling in regards to his relationship with you, I mean how can he approach the subject without looking like a pervert but instead a considerate man?
I have heard that some women do not like the term fetish, is that true. How do you want your love of tickling described or dealt with by a man you care about? Whats an inconsderate way and what is a caring way?

 

[Anna6-9]

Well Im here as much for the women as anything. I do enjoy my guys tho This is an imposible question to get 100% right. It really depends on the woman. If your trying to get advice on how to approch someone your not sure is into tickling I would avoid the word fetish. I wasnt into tickling at all when I was intorduced to this world 5 years ago and let me tell you I thought it was kinda weird. The whole "fetish" idea had never occured to me. As it is now I am into MANY fetishes (my husband has throughly corrupted me) and LOVE tickling. On the one occassion I have been tickled by someone other than my husband he just said "OK give them here!" (my feet) but it was already understood what was gonna happen.

 

[Babbles]

If a woman is involved with a nice guy who enjoys tickling, and is considerate overall, in all aspects of the relationship,
then his choice of words will be irrelevant,

though very likely each will come to understand which terms grate upon the ears of their significant other, and shouldn't be used.

If he's not considerate and he purposely uses words he knows will bother his girlfriend/wife,
or uses the information as a weapon otherwise, to make her feel like a pervert, throwing that information or using terminology with a sneer during arguments, taking cheap shots, etc., then he's not boyfriend/husband material.

If you're asking this question then most likely you're sensitive enough not to have to worry about offending a woman -- if you take the time to talk these matters out, gradually, you'll come to an understanding 🙂

If you both already know of each others interest in this (fetish), that makes it much easier to discuss freely --

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

If a woman is involved with a nice guy who enjoys tickling, and is considerate overall, in all aspects of the relationship,
then his choice of words will be irrelevant,

though very likely each will come to understand which terms grate upon the ears of their significant other, and shouldn't be used.

If he's not considerate and he purposely uses words he knows will bother his girlfriend/wife,
or uses the information as a weapon otherwise, to make her feel like a pervert, throwing that information or using terminology with a sneer during arguments, taking cheap shots, etc., then he's not boyfriend/husband material.

If you're asking this question then most likely you're sensitive enough not to have to worry about offending a woman -- if you take the time to talk these matters out, gradually, you'll come to an understanding 🙂

If you both already know of each others interest in this (fetish), that makes it much easier to discuss freely --

I basically agree with this response.

 

[Bohemianne]

I know the fact that your on this site means that all things being equal you would like a man who is in to tickling. What I want to know is how do you prefer a man your interested in who is also interested in tickling approach tickling in regards to his relationship with you, I mean how can he approach the subject without looking like a pervert but instead a considerate man?
I have heard that some women do not like the term fetish, is that true. How do you want your love of tickling described or dealt with by a man you care about? Whats an inconsderate way and what is a caring way?

- Got no problem with the word "fetish" in association with joining here.
- For someone I care about? there is always mutual agreement, nothing is perverted as long as we both agree on the level.
- I didn't come to this site just to hit and flirt with anyone here and there. More or less there is sensible reason.

 

[tickles]

Well, I believe that that answer is going to vary from person to person. Generally, if you communicate openly about the subject, she will tell what she likes. For instance, she may love to be tickled but may not want you to constantly poke and prod her. She may want you to tickle her when she puts her feet in your lap...or when snuggling with you. Be open with her as well. If you think she doesn't like something...ask.

I have been recently cooresponding with a man who, at this point, has creeped me out. Each e mail, or really sentence, is commentary on my feet. Their shape, how much he wants them, how excited he is... etc. It's too much......over the top. I can appreciate enthusiasm, but at some point, it can objectify a person. His emails seem more about him venting his silly foot quips instead of us getting to know one another.

I hope this helps...

 

[Horatio]

I know you asked for a woman's viewpoint..

But I felt like I needed to add something to the already excellent body of answers you've received.

I would hazard that most men have some sort of "non-vanilla" sexual orientation. Whether it's some sort of fetish, bondage, or kink, most men (and probably a lot of women) have some alternate wiring, so to speak.

So, yours (and mine) is tickling, which is pretty harmless as far as sexual kinks go. I would try to go into the relationship without that big albatross on my mind and tell her at some point you dig tickling. Don't call it a fetish, and don't let it control what you do. Just tell her you like tickling. If a woman who you're otherwise compatible with gives you shit about that, then you're not the one with the problem.

 

[steph]

Oh, this is such a no-brainer!
Rule number one: DON'T come off as a jerkoff. Girls know exactly who I'm talking about (yes, we can smell you a mile away guys) Most men haven't a clue what I mean but I'll try and help. It comes from inside to start with. If you come to the table with "she has to be in her late teens and Black/Asian/Italian (whatever your pref is) and 100 pounds," consider yourself automatically in the close minded jerkoff category~you're going to miss out on a lot of great girls that other guys get to enjoy. (Yes, we do talk and compare notes on ya!) Even when I fit that stereotype to a T, I still wouldn't have given you the time of day. Make an impression as a nice, respectful guy first, once you KNOW she likes you (and at least for someone like me, it's VERY obvious) you can introduce massage, etc. and then graduate from there...
XOXO

 

[MrMidnyte]

another male perspective

I have to agree with Horatio. With the few women I did tell, I never mentioned the word "fetish". When certain conversations came up I mentioned that I liked tickling, and none of them looked at me wierd or with disgust. Its all about how you bring the topic up. Good luck.

 

[Mz Chaos]

Well, I believe that that answer is going to vary from person to person. Generally, if you communicate openly about the subject, she will tell what she likes. For instance, she may love to be tickled but may not want you to constantly poke and prod her. She may want you to tickle her when she puts her feet in your lap...or when snuggling with you. Be open with her as well. If you think she doesn't like something...ask.

I have been recently cooresponding with a man who, at this point, has creeped me out. Each e mail, or really sentence, is commentary on my feet. Their shape, how much he wants them, how excited he is... etc. It's too much......over the top. I can appreciate enthusiasm, but at some point, it can objectify a person. His emails seem more about him venting his silly foot quips instead of us getting to know one another.

Yup to all of it and even more so with the second part.

... tell her at some point you dig tickling. Don't call it a fetish, and don't let it control what you do. Just tell her you like tickling.

This is just about as simple as it gets.

As a woman who has never been fortunate enough to meet another person interested in tickling until I found this forum, I found it kind of frustrating through the years. I'd never given a thought to being tied and tickled but always tried to encourage tickling in my SO's. I'd put my feet in their laps and pull at their shirts with my toes to the point where I was trying to antagonize them into tickling my feet to make me stop being so annoying but it never generated the desired effect.
Perhaps if I had been straight with them, it might have been different. It actually worked with my ex-husband. I'd ask for "light touches" on my back at bedtime to help relax me to sleep and bless his heart, he'd run his fingers lightly over my back and even though I giggled a few times and would squirm a little, he'd continue until I went to sleep.

So, a simple straightforward approach seems the best way to go. In hindsight, I probably should have done the same.