I haven't spent that much time here lately, so I'm feeling just a bit awkward posting about this subject.
A friend recently told me that an old ex, one I'd had my very first long-term relationship with, was now in a local hospital. I was going with her for quite a few years. Anyway, I Googled her name just before going to bed a few nights ago to see which one she might be in.
Big mistake.
The very first result Google returned was her obituary. She'd passed away several weeks back.
Our breakup years ago was not amiable. She had a lot of issues (and let's be honest here, so did I). Staying friends was difficult at best. We saw each other occasionally over the years afterward (and that's all we did, see each other) but we mostly stayed out of each other's lives. We hadn't seen each other for several years when I found her obit.
But I still hurt.
It's amazing how many mundane life situations bring up memories of her, however brief. A lot of old sexual memories are re-running themselves too. They feel kind of bittersweet (and sometimes just a little bit creepy).
Guess I must have loved her more than I thought, even though we didn't work out as a couple.
Worst thing is I never got to be with her in her last moments on Earth and tell her goodbye. That's what hurts most of all.
A friend recently told me that an old ex, one I'd had my very first long-term relationship with, was now in a local hospital. I was going with her for quite a few years. Anyway, I Googled her name just before going to bed a few nights ago to see which one she might be in.
Big mistake.
The very first result Google returned was her obituary. She'd passed away several weeks back.
Our breakup years ago was not amiable. She had a lot of issues (and let's be honest here, so did I). Staying friends was difficult at best. We saw each other occasionally over the years afterward (and that's all we did, see each other) but we mostly stayed out of each other's lives. We hadn't seen each other for several years when I found her obit.
But I still hurt.
It's amazing how many mundane life situations bring up memories of her, however brief. A lot of old sexual memories are re-running themselves too. They feel kind of bittersweet (and sometimes just a little bit creepy).
Guess I must have loved her more than I thought, even though we didn't work out as a couple.
Worst thing is I never got to be with her in her last moments on Earth and tell her goodbye. That's what hurts most of all.