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I need genuine advice please!

Well in my opinion you could take the words tickling incompatible and replace it with sexually incompatible. Its obvious the tickling is causing problems because you have a sexual link to it. In my opinion, sex is important, although like you say not the most important thing but none the less important. My advice is to find something that turns her on like crazy, and give it to her in exchange for tickling. I think when people go on here and say were not tickle compatible(Paraphrasing) what they mean is there is a sexual incompatibility. The thing is though women, just as much as men, can like things that there husbands do not like that make them completely nuts and its important to attempt to meet them half way. I think if you found what your wife liked and attempted to meet her half way she may want to meet you half way with tickling.
 
Been there, done that, got a divorce.........................

There was a similar thread a little while back. The wife had grown "tired" of tickling and greatly reduced the amount she would "allow" her husband. I was in a similar situation with my ex-wife. It sounds like you let her know by your actions while dating that tickling was important to you. I do not know if she thought you would "change"( ie reduce) your desire for tickling after the marriage or if other issues have surfaced and tickling is just one battle front. Getting the counseling is key. I hope each of you is honest with each other about what you want and need from the marriage. There must be give and take, not one person just being given the latest list of demands/changes. Do discuss with her why she feels and expresses an aversion now to tickling and what she really needs and wants from you. If you are both honest, at least you both will know where you stand today versus where you thought you stood. Good luck to you both.
 
well, could it be BOTH of you have changed? maybe she feels like you do it too much, or only when you want things to be sexual? or maybe you used to be more playful about it (timid as just gf/bf maybe?) ..... maybe her liking of it HAS decreased- could be that things have changed either mentally, or maybe something physical that shes not happy about on herself- and shes not comfortable with it- or others coming near it? im not sure just throwing ideas out there.... something had to have triggered it... if you want the marriage, you may have to compromise on the amount of play you get- or the type of play... maybe sit down and ask HER what she'd like? youve explained how important it is to you, but try letting her explain whats going on without inturrupting and not getting angry (easier said than done- i know - trust me)..... I guess what im saying is ask her questions about what she'd be willing to do as far as play- if its the technique shes not really ok with anymore or if its something else-

good luck.
 
First things first:

If BOTH of you, and this is the most important part before, during, and after everything anyone tells you, even your counselor, if BOTH of you aren't willing to work on all of this 100%, you'll probably end up divorcing.

Which isn't fun. If you must seperate, seperate, but divorce is.... divorce! Mine was easier than others, but it still wasn't pleasant by any means.

I find many people with tickle fetishes, and I"m sure other fetishes, become selfish, and want their spouse to satisfy their tickle cravings....which is fine. But then they say they can't have sex without it, or that's all they want. To all those people......Uhhh.....there's someone else standing there....your spouse! What about her/him?! That may last ONCE, twice.....but after a day or two of one partner being satisfied, and the other just....sitting there without sex, ....yeah, that relationship ain't lasting!

But if both spouses are willing to work at it, and there's no immese outside interference (insane in-laws, lovers, evil friends)....well, GREAT news! You can not only save your marriage, but be even happier after you get through it all, and even be happier than everyoen else you know!

I rarely plug books, movies, etc. but when I do, I firmly stand behind them.

Check out this website/book/audio book, "Light Your Fire," and there's "Light His Fire," "Light Her Fire."

http://www.lightyourfire.com/

http://www.amazon.com/Light-His-Fire-Passionately-Hopelessly/dp/0440207533

http://www.amazon.com/Light-His-Fire-Passionately-Hopelessly/dp/0440207533

I actually found it on sale at a garage sale years ago. It helped me last much longer in my marriage than if I hadn't heard it, and made what time I had more pleasant for me and her before our serious incompatibility and intense in-law trouble interfered. (She never read the book....it helps if BOTH of you read a copy....)

Basically it can be summed up as, make yourself the hottest, best husband possible for her, and she should make herself the hottest, best wife possible for you, and your marriage will become affair proof and the troubles will become much lessened.

That's why it takes BOTH of you to go in 100%. If one spouse does the program, and the other just....sits there, and tunes out, obviously, no marriage would survive that. Find out what turns her on, and then that grows in it's own way. She would find out what turns you on, and then that grows as well.
She may want a massage. Then a more specific massage, or dinner, or whatever turns her on. Usually people start at the base level, then work their way up the intense, searing passion chain.
You may like tickling, then you may want to tickle her in a certain outfit, in a certain psition, fulfill a certain fantasy, bare foot, pantyhose feet.....costume perhaps later on if it all works out. But all this time, you're doing your homework as well (what FUN homework this all is!) finding out every way you can turn her on. reading books on love making, doing your own research.

On a side note, also check out Dave Ramsey's "Financial Peace University." http://www.daveramsey.com/home/
You may not take every step he says or requires, but most are great tools to get out of debt and become financially stable. It's is NOTTTT a "self help," or "Get rich quick" scheme. It's actually tough, depending on what kind of person your and she is. Basically, most couples fight over money/finances/financial peace.
Dave's plan is, live at a cheap level, sacrifice (like your grandparents did back in the day, basically) pay off every debt you have, save up enough money for emergencies, prepare for your future together...and then save after that, because you'll probably end up with extra money when you're not paying interest payments, late fees, and other money drain bullshit we all pay when we have to, or choose to, become saddled with debt.

All of this will be hard work.....or not, depending on what kind of person you, and she, is. If either of you is selfish, narcississtic, egotistical.....this is going to be damn hard. If you or her are like "I ain't wearing no sexy outfit to please you!!" or "I'm not helping with the housework because you had a hard day!" or all the other selfish bullshit couples do to each other, then the marriage won't last. But if you're willing to work at it, well, to be blunt, the reward for that work is two happy ass people who have lots of wild sex and massive orgasms!

Good luck, let us now how it turns out!
 
I have to give you credit that you actually attempt to communicate with your wife, what a trooper!
 
I'm going to say that the dramatic change in the tickling situation has to do with some unresolved issues in your marriage.


If those get resolved and there is no resentment, I'm betting that the tickling will go back to being special for both of you versus the "I'll put up with it" attitude she seems to be displaying now.
 
Your wife is sexually frustrated. Rough and tumble sex will be the only way to get her back into the loving feeling.

Next time you two attempt to talk and an argument ensues, grab her, kiss her hard with lips... either liplocking her upper or lower lip, or a combo of both. Then slowly lead her to the bedroom. Lightly touch her with minimal tickling throughout the adventure.

Fuck her brains out... and any sperm she has collected during the separation.

If she resists, enforce. She's your wife for a reason. Women who marry want a man to lead regardless of what they say. The term husband means management. Manage!!
 
Yes, while your wife might be sexually frustrated-I take she probably is-you are probably very sexually frustrated yourself. I would not advocate trying to "manage" your wife. I know the person that suggested this meant well for a suggestion on something helpful to do-but no woman wants to be managed. It definitely would help for you both to sit down and try to calmly and caringly talk about your individual wants and needs for your marriage and also what your relationship needs to survive and thrive, not only your sex life being part of the focus but also other dimensions of the marriage as well.

You both definitely need to start communicating lot better and lot clearer-lot more than just every once in a while and way before you even think of being intimate in the bedroom. I mean I am no expert by any means-every couple has to learn what works for them. Yet I know communication is key and expressing your feelings and what u need and desire in your sex life-also as a couple in your marriage-is very important and a essential for any marriage or any relationship long term to have the chance to survive. Both have to stop blaming each other-listen to each other-show you care and love each other-vital you both stop wanting to outdo, win over the other. Because like it has been said-so true-in every fight there is always a champ and there is always a loser. Unfortunately you both can't win, someone has to lose. Maybe it might help -maybe both of you could maybe write down a short 5 item list of each your wants and needs-exchange it-read quietly to yourselves-give each other time to digest what you read-meet back shortly -give feedback on what you thought-don't have to be long or drawn out-another thing I have seen and read-can be helpful-say make a short list of sexual fantasies, or thoughts mark yes, no, maybe, or total no-not negotiable-u don't have to decide right then-u can look at it later-mutually decide.

You list a few of your top favorite things you like and she mentions her on the list or verbally aloud to each other-whatever you feel most comfortable-then you do what she loves- in exchange she might do what you love-which might be a way to be a way to encourage more tickling in the marriage that is lacking and seldom right now. She does what you love-tickling you, letting you tickle her-you do what she loves. I am sure you get what I am saying. Sorry this was so long a post-just trying to be helpful. Yet gist of it is you have to talk-mutual agreed upon-find a common ground. I hope this helps.

Oh ps some adventuresome fun rough tumble sex might be what the doctor ordered-that is if she is into that kind of thing only you know on that but hope this works but whatever you do don't try to "manage" her. Nothing wrong with a husband or a man leading his partner a little bit-but keep in mind u don't want the dynamic of a marriage/or relationship suddenly sadly turn into a dictatorship, that goes for whether the man tries to rule or a woman tries to rule/dominate a relationship, that will lead to disaster. That is not equal-you are partners and you love each other, try to keep that in mind when the going gets tough. Keep us posted on what happens.
 
I AM NOT A COUNSELOR, BUT I KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS WITHOUT EVER HAVING BEEN IN ONE.

Now, with that being said: Your wife, who you love and cherish, and who does so you in return, and who is for all intents and purposes in all given situations, your equal, desires to be treated equally, most likely.

It is a prime reason for much unhappiness. You may not give her something that makes her feel appreciated as the equal that she is. And therefore, you will feel the pain.

But it may not necessarily be sexual. It could be any number of different things. Observe yourself from the point of view of an onlooker. put yourslef in her shoes, or in the shoes of that piece of dust that follows you around even though you've swatted and sprayed, and it is still there, hanging there.

You'd be surprised what you'd find after a while of just observing yourself. Of course, listen to her side as well.
 
When I say manage, I do not necessarily mean control the wife all the time, Oprah. If this fella was managing, he'd figure out what needs to be.

Women are so terrible at times when giving relationship advice. As proper and diplomatic as they attempt to be, it is always a dizzy dance away from honesty, like how a rabbit would get from chasing its tail.

There really is no such thing as equal in relationships. Somebody is fucking and somebody is getting fucked. Even when neither are happening, blame is placed for somebody being fucked by someone as reason for not fucking. So, fuck or don't fuck... or get fucked🙂
 
Your wife is sexually frustrated. Rough and tumble sex will be the only way to get her back into the loving feeling.

Next time you two attempt to talk and an argument ensues, grab her, kiss her hard with lips... either liplocking her upper or lower lip, or a combo of both. Then slowly lead her to the bedroom. Lightly touch her with minimal tickling throughout the adventure.

Fuck her brains out... and any sperm she has collected during the separation.

If she resists, enforce. She's your wife for a reason. Women who marry want a man to lead regardless of what they say. The term husband means management. Manage!!

When I say manage, I do not necessarily mean control the wife all the time, Oprah. If this fella was managing, he'd figure out what needs to be.

Women are so terrible at times when giving relationship advice. As proper and diplomatic as they attempt to be, it is always a dizzy dance away from honesty, like how a rabbit would get from chasing its tail.

There really is no such thing as equal in relationships. Somebody is fucking and somebody is getting fucked. Even when neither are happening, blame is placed for somebody being fucked by someone as reason for not fucking. So, fuck or don't fuck... or get fucked🙂



^ that is NOT the way to fiix a relationship- all THAT does is piss us off.... there are 2 people in the relationship, not one. Not good advice to follow if you wish to solve this issue- i've been here done this... just sayin' i wouldnt if i were you.
 
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