I'm about to commit an act of murder and I need your advice...

[Dussicar]

Last sunday afternoon I was on my computer cruising these forums and generally enjoying a nice, peaceful weekend when my lucidity was broken by a continuous noise just outside my open window.

*chirp* *chirp* *chirp*

A cricket.

I didn't think anything of it. I continued about my sunday as if all were well...However, as the night drew near, I noticced that the chirping did not end. I knew that once I tried to go to sleep, that the cricket would still continue its little serenade.

So, with that(and the realisation that I can't close my window due to the damnable heat), I went to the store to pick up a can of raid. I came back home and pin pointed the exact location of the little beast's residence within a three foot radius in some weeds just to the left of my window...I let him have it but good! No more chirping for the rest of the night.

But then, at about four in the morning I heard that bloody chirping again. Same place as before. I didn't kill it.

So, I repeated the process...All became silent again.

Until I came home from work that night. I heard that demonic little emmisary from hell rubbing its malevolent legs together yet again...Out comes the raid. Wash, rinse, repeat.

By thursday, I had depleted my can. AND IT STILL LIVED!!!

The only satisfaction that I can report is that its chirping is now laboured and uneven. So to some extent, I have at least done SOME damage. But the point was to kill it. A task which I have failed at quite miserably.

So, now I have a borderline retarded cricket endlessly chirping outside my damned window.

I tried saturating that area with a garden hose and it STILL hasn't killed this beast of death and insanity.

Could somebody give me any cost effective and proven methods to eliminate this little bastard.

I've been singing "when you wish upon a star" a lot lately.

PS: I can hear that monster outside my window right now!

 

[isabeau]

hmm relax Dussicar...he or she will die soon...that rubbing noise means his end is near lol....the case of the cricket who wouldn't die...

 

[TicklishLurker]

You need to go out and get some real poison. Go to a Home Depot or some sort of place like that and get the kind you put on lawns for fleas, ticks, and other pests, and spread it all over.

I don't know if it's avalible where you're at, but my brother in Arizona gets this stuff made by Orco that comes in granuals and you have to water after spreading it. It kills every type of bug and lasts a long time. (Because Arizona has scorpians....)

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

LOL If you like lizards, you can get one and send it out therre for dinner. Otherwise, I have yet to hear of a proven way to get them to move on to someone else's yard. The only thing I've ever foudn that's dependable is simply to remove the cover. (Get rid of weeds/plants/etc. that they like to hang out in.) But, it's not always stuff you want to get rid of. I have a bunch of them hanging out around our cellar windows, in our strawberry plants. Obviously, I'm not going to pull up the plants. So, we've just learned to tollerate them. We actually don't notice them as much any more.

Ann

 

[Mimi]

psssst......earplugs

 

[Dussicar]

LOL, MIMI!

One more day and that's TOTALY going to be me!


The earplugs might be a good idea, but to do so would would be to admit defeat. I am hellbent on destroying this little gift from Satan!

Actually, Ticklishlurker, I think that's exactly what I'll do. I have spent so much time trying to find a domestic way to solve my problem(pesticide spray, water, stomping and yelling. etc.) that I didn't even think to check out the more powerful solutions within a decent price range at my local hardware store.


That's how bad this creature has warped me.

 

[venray]

Oh Bloody hell! I havent laughed this hard in days...between this story and your PM you gave certainly brightened my mood...

As for the cricket, Mimi's bat might not be a bad idea....smack the hell out of the weeds,mate...if it doesnt kill him at least you will relieve some of your frustrations...

R

 

[isabeau]

i don't see any picture...just an x...hmm

 

[Mimi]

Here, Izzy...in case it doesn't work again for you (imageshack is being a slow pig today):

http://www.qscreations.com/misc/dussicarbear.jpg

Mimi 😉

 

[Bugman]

Last sunday afternoon I was on my computer cruising these forums and generally enjoying a nice, peaceful weekend when my lucidity was broken by a continuous noise just outside my open window.

*chirp* *chirp* *chirp*

A cricket.

I didn't think anything of it. I continued about my sunday as if all were well...However, as the night drew near, I noticced that the chirping did not end. I knew that once I tried to go to sleep, that the cricket would still continue its little serenade.

So, with that(and the realisation that I can't close my window due to the damnable heat), I went to the store to pick up a can of raid. I came back home and pin pointed the exact location of the little beast's residence within a three foot radius in some weeds just to the left of my window...I let him have it but good! No more chirping for the rest of the night.

But then, at about four in the morning I heard that bloody chirping again. Same place as before. I didn't kill it.

So, I repeated the process...All became silent again.

Until I came home from work that night. I heard that demonic little emmisary from hell rubbing its malevolent legs together yet again...Out comes the raid. Wash, rinse, repeat.

By thursday, I had depleted my can. AND IT STILL LIVED!!!

The only satisfaction that I can report is that its chirping is now laboured and uneven. So to some extent, I have at least done SOME damage. But the point was to kill it. A task which I have failed at quite miserably.

So, now I have a borderline retarded cricket endlessly chirping outside my damned window.

I tried saturating that area with a garden hose and it STILL hasn't killed this beast of death and insanity.

Could somebody give me any cost effective and proven methods to eliminate this little bastard.

I've been singing "when you wish upon a star" a lot lately.

PS: I can hear that monster outside my window right now!

Here's what you need to do.Get a liquid pesticisde with Deltamethrin in it.Get a small pump-up hand sprayer and spray about a foot up the side of the house and about two feet out all the way around.You may need to do that once a week or so till you have a freeze.That should take care of it for you.

 

[storyteller]

Cricket is just tickling your ears!

Gee, Dussicar, sounds like the cricket is a ler doing what he/she does to perform sadistic tickle torture on those pesky humans who happen to be nearby. Sounds like you've got the makings for a great story here. Heck, you've already got most of it written. Just add some stuff from the cricket's perspective. Other than that, TL's suggestion is good, especially if you have an ongoing problem with insects of various types. If you don't, why go to that expense and trouble? In light of what Isabeau said about the cricket already being on "his last legs"--or chirps--Mimi has given the cheaper solution: earplugs. You can get 'em at Walmart, Walgreens, etc., several to a package for a couple of bucks. If that still doesn't do the trick, maybe you should sleep in another room until the cricket stops chirping, no matter how the final chirp is achieved. At least that way, you may get some sleep.

 

[TKpervert]

Good grief folks, this ain't really all that complicated.
Get some Yard-Guard (the stuff in the green-white can with the big red spout-thing on top, meant for air-spraying). Lay down a ground barrage within 15 feet of the suspected hideout, problem gone.
Crickets hate that shit. If it doesn't kill him, he'll pack up and split.

 

[Dussicar]

UPDATE: GODAMMIT!

Alright. On saturday night, I borrowed some srong pesticide from my neighbour. It took care of the problem. I was "chirp" free all week.

Wouldn't you know it? just as I clicked on this thread to read TKpervert's post, guess what I heard outside my window? C'mon, guess. I'll bet you'll never....

Alright, I'll end the suspense.

I heard chirp chirp CHIRP!

Now I've got another little bastard outside my window!

That's it. I'm renting a roto-tiller and a flame thrower! And if THAT dosen't work, then I'll try some more pesticide.

 

[isabeau]

UPDATE: GODAMMIT!

Alright. On saturday night, I borrowed some srong pesticide from my neighbour. It took care of the problem. I was "chirp" free all week.

Wouldn't you know it? just as I clicked on this thread to read TKpervert's post, guess what I heard outside my window? C'mon, guess. I'll bet you'll never....

Alright, I'll end the suspense.

I heard chirp chirp CHIRP!

Now I've got another little bastard outside my window!

That's it. I'm renting a roto-tiller and a flame thrower! And if THAT dosen't work, then I'll try some more pesticide.

oooooo lolololol sorry but this is too funny....you really should listen to buggy...he knows what he is saying..

 

[Dussicar]

oooooo lolololol sorry but this is too funny....you really should listen to buggy...he knows what he is saying..

Well, I might do that. But this act of insane desperation on my part feels pretty good.

I've got the day off today so I figure it might be a good idea to haul ass to my nearst farm and garden store while running my errands.

 

[elfriend]

LOL! This is hilarious! YOu know you should watch Failure to Launch you might relate well to the Sarah Jessica Parkers Roomate. Her problem was a mocking bird though. LOL!

 

[drew70]

You need to go out and get some real poison. Go to a Home Depot or some sort of place like that and get the kind you put on lawns for fleas, ticks, and other pests, and spread it all over.

I don't know if it's avalible where you're at, but my brother in Arizona gets this stuff made by Orco that comes in granuals and you have to water after spreading it. It kills every type of bug and lasts a long time. (Because Arizona has scorpians....)

The problem with this is that the poison can have an impact on your local ecology. Dogs, cats, squirrels, and birds could get poisoned. If a lot of people do this, it can contaminate whatever body of water to which your rain ultimately drains. In my case, it's the Chesapeake Bay, which we're trying to clean up.

 

[Deadsea7777]

Go cricket Go!!!!!!!!!

The world belong to those who dare!!!!!!!! ]

 

[Cav88]

Go for the jugular!

 

[willustop2001]

u horrible horrible person LMAO

Imagine if you will a creature trying to survive. he is obviously determined to feed his family, and you come along with a can of raid and make him struggle....so now lil miss cricket is at home with her four hundred babies wondering where her husband is...poor lil cricket babies forced into a life of prostitution all because u wanted sleep....they will remember there daddy as a hero facing the great RAID bombing of 2006 god I pray u will make reporations to the family....if u dont well fuck it there just bugs...nite

 

[Dussicar]

Go cricket Go!!!!!!!!!

The world belong to those who dare!!!!!!!! ]

Don't...Encourage...The DEMON! 😀

 

[Dussicar]

Imagine if you will a creature trying to survive. he is obviously determined to feed his family, and you come along with a can of raid and make him struggle....so now lil miss cricket is at home with her four hundred babies wondering where her husband is...poor lil cricket babies forced into a life of prostitution all because u wanted sleep....they will remember there daddy as a hero facing the great RAID bombing of 2006 god I pray u will make reporations to the family....if u dont well fuck it there just bugs...nite

Well now.

That thought didn't actually occur to me until you mentioned it.

With that in my mind...REVENGE IS GOING TO BE ALL THE SWEETER!!!