In a dilemma

[enlightened]

Hi everybody.

I hope you remember me. A few months ago I found a WONDERFUL ticklee on Craig's List - this chick is TOTALLY masochistic, and we have tickling sessions that last for HOURS. She's incredibly ticklish, has a wonderful laugh, and keeps coming back for more.

Here's my dilemma.

As I said, she's masochistic. Lately, she's been asking me to do some things that I am frankly afraid to do - she wants me to choke her, pee on her, etc. I haven't, and really don't want to, but she keeps bringing it up. I have tied her up in any position she wants, and have used the vibe on her, ice cubes, etc. But the choking thing has me very wary - I don't want to hurt her.

Any advice on how to handle this situation?

 

[roxita]

She have to accept your no, as you have to accept her no's and yes'. If you don't want to do it, she can't force you, and she must respect that.

Breath play and choking is dangerous and you have to pay really good attention to her if you wants to go try it out. Read a lot about it, google. Do you trust completely on each other? Trust is an important key word in such play.

 

[ticklemepls]

as roxita said- trust.

if you're not comfortable with it neither of you will enjoy it... however, some people find they actually enjoy that side of BDSM once they've tried it (i know ... im one of them...).... you dont have to choke her till she passes out- a simple firm hand around the throat with a bit of a squeeze will do it- if you're scared to try it, work out a signal, have her grab your hand (if they're not tied) if she wants you to let go... but overall you can probably tell if you know her at all...

the whole peeing on her thing ... first off, personal opinion EWWWWWWW... ok now- yeah i got nothing for that .. just ew lol

again, you need to feel comfortable with trying it- if you're not, you need to tell her this so she can either walk you through it or find some common ground... good luck....

 

[BritTickler]

As Roxita's said, trust is the key - but in this situation it seems clear your lady already trusts you, and the question is perhaps more whether you trust yourself not to go too far. But if you're as reticent to get involved in any harder play as you say, I don't think you need to worry about that at all! Choking needn't be as violent or dangerous as it sounds anyway - you're basically just pressing on someone's neck after all, not breaking it! Just read up on it a little and think safety first.

The only real problem emerges if, irrespective of the safety issues, you decide you simply don't feel comfortable doing such things - and if this is the case then don't be afraid to keep saying no! Doing something you don't want, even if part of a dominant act, can be just as demeaning and even exploitative as being forced into submission. Then again, all relationships call for a bit of give and take, so if you think you can cope with it I'd give it a go - you might even learn to enjoy it as much as she does! Peace out.

 

[WheresThe Clip?]

Well funnily enough I was reading in the UK paper The Metro today, how a guy is being prosecuted for murder after choking/stranguling his wife in bondage sex game. DO NOT GO THERE.

However maybe you could try a little breath play with your hand over her mouth, and see if that will suffice. Also as for the peeing thing, tell her you can only do it if she is blindfolded, as otherwise you will have a bashful bladder. Then get an empty fairy liquid bottle, fill it with water (no better still lemon juice) and squirt that.

 

[roxita]

Speaking of the wetplay, I suggest that you do it in the shower. ;-)

 

[roxita]

Also as for the peeing thing, tell her you can only do it if she is blindfolded, as otherwise you will have a bashful bladder. Then get an empty fairy liquid bottle, fill it with water (no better still lemon juice) and squirt that.

I would be really upset about that. Again, we speak of confidence and trust. If my Master would trick me like that, I sure wouldn't like it. IF we not had talked about how to mess with my thoughts and mind.

 

[mustang]

I would be heading for the door. That chick is so far out that she may wind up dead and you could be drawn into the investigation. After all, this forum deals with tickling fetishes which won't hurt anyone. I would play it safe...call me chicken.

 

[♡AimLEE♡]

I would be heading for the door. That chick is so far out that she may wind up dead and you could be drawn into the investigation. After all, this forum deals with tickling fetishes which won't hurt anyone. I would play it safe...call me chicken.

You've never gotten a bruise from tickling?
Choking is not that dangerous. You pay attention to the signs just like you would do when you are tickling someone.

She won't "wind up dead" if he researches, and has trust with his play partner. I think you are being a little extreme.
I think he is being wise by coming here first...asking for advice.

 

[PQfingers]

@ enlightened, KEEP IT SAFE, use common sense.

 

[ticklemepls]

You've never gotten a bruise from tickling?
Choking is not that dangerous. You pay attention to the signs just like you would do when you are tickling someone.

She won't "wind up dead" if he researches, and has trust with his play partner. I think you are being a little extreme.
I think he is being wise by coming here first...asking for advice.

 

[TropicThunder]

SSC.

Safe. Sane. Consentual.

If I were you, I would go to a place like Fetlife and seek advice from people who are into those kinks. They would be the best people to give you ideas on how to perform these things safely. Aimee's right, do a little research, watch for the signs. They are ways of playing safely and still getting what you want out of a scene.

 

[ticklemepls]

I would be heading for the door. That chick is so far out that she may wind up dead and you could be drawn into the investigation. After all, this forum deals with tickling fetishes which won't hurt anyone. I would play it safe...call me chicken.

further more, be careful how you word things. theres a lot of people here into this kinda stuff- im one of them, not the bodily fluids, but the hand on the throat and some other stuff..... it does NOT make me crazy, nor do i think i will 'wind up dead' ..... its called being careful and having a brain...

 

[femfttickler21]

as roxita said- trust.

if you're not comfortable with it neither of you will enjoy it... however, some people find they actually enjoy that side of BDSM once they've tried it (i know ... im one of them...).... you dont have to choke her till she passes out- a simple firm hand around the throat with a bit of a squeeze will do it- if you're scared to try it, work out a signal, have her grab your hand (if they're not tied) if she wants you to let go... but overall you can probably tell if you know her at all...

the whole peeing on her thing ... first off, personal opinion EWWWWWWW... ok now- yeah i got nothing for that .. just ew lol

again, you need to feel comfortable with trying it- if you're not, you need to tell her this so she can either walk you through it or find some common ground... good luck....

Speaking from experience, I never thought that I would be able to participate in breathe play. I also was scared of the possibilities. Well then I got involved with my girlfriend, Ticklemepls, and learned that she was into this as well. We never really talked about it that much but at some point I decided that since she was curious about it that I would give it a shot for her. To give her a more realistic feel and possibly to excite her even more knowing she wanted it....I did not discuss it with her first. I don't recall the situation when I tried it first if she was tied or not, or if we were having sex or just bondage. Either way I just went for it and put my hand around her throat. She liked it, and I have to admit I did too. But this is where common sense has to kick it. Whenever I do this for her, I never do it for more then a few seconds. Its enough to give her a rush but I dont worry about over doing it.

 

[MrTicklefeet]

Well, if she won't back off on the choking thing, I'd end the funship. I wouldn't be comfortable with it. There's been too many episodes of Law and Order, some movies, David Carradine, The ultimate decision would have to be yours.

 

[femfttickler21]

In my opinion there is a difference between chocking to the point of death, and just rough play. Common sense needs to kick in. You don't squeeze so tight that you could break anything. Heck you could try this with her as a safety thing. Have her hold her breathe on her own and time it for how long she can hold it. Once you figure out how long that is, don't get anywhere near that limit. If she can hold her breathe for 30secs, then only do it for 10-15max.

 

[Ishaanshah]

Sounds bit scary. Better you should not try to choke her and yeah please don't even think of it.

 

[ticklemepls]

Sounds bit scary. Better you should not try to choke her and yeah please don't even think of it.

thats part of the appealing thing about it, someone else has control over you. you trust they'll let go- but its still on their terms.... its not that scary and sounds worse than it really is... guess its something you have to be into to really understand.

 

[3xPIN]

Well, I have this to say. You say you don't want too hurt her. That is fine and noble. But, she does. She wants to be hurt and be pushed over the edge and so on. As long as she explains what she is doing and you follow those directions, she will be safe. That is SAFE, not UNHARMED. If you are squeamish about permanent damage or death, that is understandable. but you do have to believe in yourself. You need to be confident; confidence takes away much of the worry.

Also there are legal ramifications. For all I know that is why you don't want to physically harm her, I'm not sure, I only read the opening post. As long as you can provide proof that she told you to do it(E-mails or a recording of sorts, even a crudely drawn up contract) you are good to go. It never hurts to cover all your bases.

Remember, above all else: You may be hurting her, but that doesn't mean you aren't pleasing her.

Oh, and uh have a safe...word...wait, you are choking her. Hmm. What is Morse code for stop?

 

[ticklemepls]

Oh, and uh have a safe...word...wait, you are choking her. Hmm. What is Morse code for stop?

 

[mustang]

When I said that she might wind up dead, I wasn't thinking of the person who made the original post. I was thinking of the sick sadist she may wind up with who carries things too far. Then the cops will be interviewing everyone who knew her, especially those who indulged her masochistic tendencies, etc. But then I am a cautious type.

 

[BellybTickler]

Don't force yourself into doing shit that don't appeal to you, it won't be enjoyable for her or yourself.

 

[ticklemepls]

It funny to me how closed minded some tickle fetishists seem to be about other fetish. If someone were to leave them for wanting to tickle them, or just plain didnt want to participate, they would be crying up a storm on here, or devising ways to "convert" them... but then when someone else has a different fetish they are all like "ohhh head for the hills, if they dont let it go and accept you never wanna do it then leave, etc"

L O L

 

[ChicagoDavid]

I’d force it a bit, and try things that seemed unappealing to me, for her sake, given that there is so much positive going on. But I wouldn’t force it for something unsafe. Whether that means a complete “no” to breathplay vs some level that seems safe, I’m not sure.

 

[Leo tickles]

Choking is fun. Pissing on people isn't something I've done in the literal sense, but it can possibly be fun. Would I ever do it? Maybe.

See what I did there? I stated my preferences. Now you state yours, to yourself, and then to her. She had the option of not being your lee because she hated tickling. She currently has the option to deny requests for a specific position in bondage.


You should also have the right to deny any requests that are incompatible with your own desires. There are consequences that may follow, but all you can do is be yourself.