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If the Morse Code doesn't work, try charades or distinguishing between those sexy and subtle shades of blue or have your lights hooked up to a Clapper! All my exes treated me like a peon after I bought them a diamond choker, but you seem to be doing better than I am. Maybe video each session with a disclaimer at the start. Does a hold blameless clause work when you are choking? Good luck and I hope you don't make the 6:00 pm news anytime soon!