Initiating tickling with Vanilla people..I wish there were a manual sometimes

[CuteJill143]

I've gained much more confidence about having a tickling fetish over the years to a point where I've had some boyfriends actually get into it but I noticed every Vanilla person is different and takes a unique "strategy" for each personality type when trying to hint around that I like tickling. For example, some I flat out told them but had to get into a conversation relating to it first. Others I had to drop hints, tickle them first or ask for a massage. Then there were some guys where they were so up tight conservative vanilla where I knew better than to initiate it in the first place. Some other personalities it seems to go over much better. I've had experienced both ends of the spectrum from having guys think its cute that I like to tickling & to the close minded jerks who accused me of having mental problems. Over the years I've sort of learned or "sensed" the ones who might be able to get more into it than others. But for some reason despite my higher confidence levels, I will still meet someone who I hit it off with and find myself in that same boat again..."How to let this person know how much that I enjoy tickling?" "What do I say?" ...We have all been there, lets face it.

I have a date next week with a guy who considers himself to be a "cuddle monster" so with him this should be easy! I might not even have to initiate, he seems the type to tickle first anyway =) If a guy is the affectionate type its much easier. I am not planning on telling him for a while. We talk for hours at a time on the phone and have a lot in common. So I think the tickling has to wait. I've had bad experiences with being up front about tickling.

Guys and girls, lees and lers; I need all of your perspectives on the best strategies for telling your significant other that has worked for you in the past. I need opinions. There has to be better ways than how I go about it.

 

[Bradhadair]

I've found that you need to seek out people who are into the things you are into. I am strong in the kink community and not at all quiet about my tickle fetish. if you want to be with me, that's part of who I am. I guess I just don't date vanilla.

 

[Wesker28]

Well let me think, I think i've only ever told my first ever gf that I find tickling her erotic. She apparently did as well as she never once told me to stop. There was another later girlfriend that said i'm very ticklish, and my current gf started it so i've had it pretty easy. Thing is i've never had to tell my gf because I she feels the same way about it.

 

[Phineas]

I noticed every Vanilla person is different and takes a unique "strategy" for each personality type when trying to hint around that I like tickling.

Here's your problem; you feel that you need to come up with a "strategy" and "hint around it". You're making a bigger issue out of it than it is, and you're being a jerk by trying to prod your date into reading your mind.

The fact that you've had bad experiences being up-front about it means that there was a problem with who you were being up-front with, not that you were being up-front at all. Be open, be honest, and kick to the curb anyone who has a problem with it.

 

[ISUmark]

I say just be honest. If the guy is a cuddler then a tickle will probably be thrown in their somewhere. You dont have to outright admit it but there are ways for a woman to let a guy know she is into something that he did. Maybe after you giggle just egg him on a little bit. I love when a woman does that to me. Pretend to be a badass and tell him you can take it...ya know that sorta thing. Its definitely a hard thing to do...to let someone "vanilla" know what you are into..but once you get past that part its amazing.

 

[rhiannon]

Here's your problem; you feel that you need to come up with a "strategy" and "hint around it". You're making a bigger issue out of it than it is, and you're being a jerk by trying to prod your date into reading your mind.

This

 

[deadlywiffeathr]

Most of it is just trial and error unfortunatley. They key is developing a relationship before you tell them. Try and gage how into YOU they are before letting it slip. I know if someone I was really into were to tell me they had a fetish for something unusual I'd be more willing to accept and try it out if I had a genuine connection with the person first.

Also, its probably gunna be less confronting for the vanilla type if you work it into a playful or intimate situation rather than sitting them down and saying look "I need to tell you something about myself". Just sayin 🙂

 

[YouNeverKnow175]

I agree with those who recommend against a "strategy"....my experience has been it's fairly easy if you're dating someone to find a way to bring up tickling - after all, it's a natural, normal flirtatious activity that plenty of "vanillas" engage in. If you're a lee, a little poke or tickle to try to illicit a "revenge" response or tickle fight should work with a lot of guys, or lying down with your armpits and belly exposed, placing your feet in their lap, etc...

I've usually dated someone for several weeks or a few months with plenty of tickle play before explaining to them that it's a turn-on for me. They've all been fine with it and very receptive to playing along...

 

[Deleted member 94322]

I've never told any of my boyfriends. I'm actually extremely secretive about my fetishes. :S So I've really got nothing.

 

[cutenticklishnc]

I would love to date a guy into tickling. I told my ex about my fetish and he stopped tickling me alltogether 🙁 I am tickle deprived! lol and forget about tickling him he hated it. My next boyfriend will def be into it I love it!

 

[Wade]

Everyone I've dated has been vanilla, and virtually everyone I've dated has tickled me, some of them frequently and for prolonged periods. Generally my ticklishness has been discovered early in the relationship. So I'd been thinking it was a nearly universal behavior.

 

[CuteJill143]

Here's your problem; you feel that you need to come up with a "strategy" and "hint around it". You're making a bigger issue out of it than it is, and you're being a jerk by trying to prod your date into reading your mind.

The fact that you've had bad experiences being up-front about it means that there was a problem with who you were being up-front with, not that you were being up-front at all. Be open, be honest, and kick to the curb anyone who has a problem with it.

Thank you so much for the reality check! You are right. It wasn't me it was them who all had the problem. I appreciate your honesty 🙂

 

[CuteJill143]

Everyone I've dated has been vanilla, and virtually everyone I've dated has tickled me, some of them frequently and for prolonged periods. Generally my ticklishness has been discovered early in the relationship. So I'd been thinking it was a nearly universal behavior.

I agree. You're lucky. A lot of boyfriends didn't tickle.
The guy I've been talking about in this thread is really awesome so far. Hes actually admitted to me that hes very ticklish through text message while we got into a conversation about foot massages and even told me his spots. He brought up tickling first which was my cue. I teased back that he might regret revealing his ticklish spots to me. We were cuddling on the couch last night and I was tickling him a bit and holy crap I think he likes it because he doesn't get angry or say stop. He said he "doesn't mind it" He said that I was lucky his parents were asleep or else he would be getting crazy revenge and my laughing might wake them up. I guess that's why he didn't tickle me back. He claims to be determined to find my spots and I will be alone in his house on Wednesday where no one could hear me scream 🙂 On our first date last week I had sandals on with a wine colored pedicure and he thinks my feet and toes are so cute 🙂 He said I have "little gummi bear toes" SCORE!!!!!!