Interracial Marriage- Expression Of Thought

[Mitchell]

I wanted to share something with the forum that I discussed with someone today. If this is a touchy subject, I apologize, but it just got me so angry, that I wanted to share, and get feedback.
There is a guy who works for me, helping me transport items to and from my house for my antiques business. I saw him today. His brother in law recently died, and he was discussing the family gathering for the funeral. His brother in law's son, who is white, has a Hispanic girlfriend, and this guy who works for me, spouted off about how he feels inter racial relationships and marriage is wrong. His whole attitude and such just completely ticked me off. His quote was:"Blacks should be in relationships with Blacks, Whites with Whites, and Hispanics with Hispanics, and so on" I'm sitting there, listening to this guy, who I personally think is a small minded idiot for many reasons, spout on, and I'm thinking to myself: "Who the hell are you to judge. If your nephew is happy, that is his business!"
In my own family, I have a cousin who is a White Jewish doctor, and he is married to an African American girl who is also a doctor. His parents, who lost another child in a tragic car accident almost 20 years ago, were extremely cool about the situation, saying that if he's happy, who are they to judge. I completely agree with them. I judge people based on the content of character, as the great civil rights leader Dr Martin Luther King said.
I know this is a very touchy subject, but I just had to post on this subject. What does everyone think? Am I right? Is the guy who commented today very small minded, or can people see his point? Personally, I feel, whoever someone is happy with, is who they should be with. I only judge myself, and those who directly affect my life. Beyond that, whatever anyone else wants to do, if it makes them happy, and doesnt hurt others, then more power to them! End of Rant.

Mitch

 

[Mimi]

Incredibly small minded person. The amount of pigmentation in ones skin, or the color of their hair or eyes has nothing to do with who or what a person is. Judging anyone by their exterior is ignorant.

Mimi

 

[amk714]

I agree Mitch. If two people of different races fall in love, that's fine with me. Others are free to criticize but they can't do anything about it. Since he works for you, don't let his opinions get to you, and ignore his rants unless they interfere with his work. To some people ignorance is bliss, but you know better, and that's all that matters. Stay cool.

 

[Mitchell]

Thank you, Mimis! My feelings exactly. Your reaction, as I posted earlier, is exactly how I feel about what this guy said, and about him. Thanks for the reply!

Mitch

 

[Wildtime]

I agree with you 100%, Mitch! So does the rest of Canada

Inter-racial marriages really aren't a concern in Canada. I'm not saying that there isn't any racial prejudice North of the 49th, but no one up here would really blink an eye if a hispanic married a caucasian. Mixed marriages occur all the time in Canada, and even here--in the most conservative (by Canadian standards) part of the country--there is no opposition towards it.

 

[Mitchell]

Trust me, amk. He's said far worse things than this, about me, but I keep him because he's reliable, and I need him for assistance in my work. Not to go on a rant about him, but recently he taunted me for being almost 36, and not married. I dont like this guy in the least, for many reasons, and have told my mom so. However, she has advised me to treat him as if he's just someone doing a job, and beyond this doesnt count. I have no choice but to do so. As a person, I dont shall we say, jive with his personality.

Mitch

 

[amk714]

Inter-racial marriages really aren't a concern in Canada. I'm not saying that there isn't any racial prejudice North of the 49th, but no one up here would really blink an eye if a hispanic married a caucasian. Mixed marriages occur all the time in Canada, and even here--in the most conservative (by Canadian standards) part of the country--there is no opposition towards it.

That's good to hear, Wildtime. I wonder if minorities have experienced more discrimination and prejudice in the United States than Canada because of their social situation here? For example, blacks used to be slaves and were segregated, and Latinos and Asians immigrate from other countries and thus are often seen as foreigners. In any case, Canada seems to be a more progressive place to live in. Thanks for the interesting observation.

 

[isabeau]

omg the small minds of some people. if two people fall in love and are happy, who the hell cares about the color of their skin??? i dated lots of Black guys in college and that was back when it wasnt looked on very well. especially my dad, i'm afraid he was rather small minded but otherwise a great guy. to me its what is on the inside that counts, not the color of ones skin. and today in the modern 2000s this question shouldnt even be considered. sorry about your troubles Mitch you are such a great guy.

isabeau

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Mitch, why didn't you just ask him WHY? when he expounded on his theories? WHY does it matter so much? WHY are interracial relationships not a good thing, and if it is not, to him, a benefit to the white race, than WHY is it a demerit? Keep asking a racist, WHY WHY WHY? Because ultimately, it's a debate in which they have no legs to stand on. There's not a whole lot after the emotional.

 

[Krokus]

My brother has been married to a mexican gal for nearly 10 years now, and they have 2 kids together. She's a really nice girl, and they make a good couple. Anyone who would judge them for it would get an earful from me.

 

[isabeau]

My brother has been married to a mexican gal for nearly 10 years now, and they have 2 kids together. She's a really nice girl, and they make a good couple. Anyone who would judge them for it would get an earful from me.

wtg Krokus thats the best

isabeau

 

[mark 19]

I never got the whole racism thing anyway, maybe it’s a generation thing as I wasn’t around in the days of Black rights campaigns and stuff. But to me there’s nothing especially different about people with a different skin colour or race I went to school with loads of people form dozens of different backgrounds, ethnicities, different skin colours and we all got on fine. Am I missing something ? because I just don’t understand why it was ever an issue?

 

[MrMacphisto]

I think the main reason why someone would make a big deal out of interracial marriage is that he/she is looking at the negative repercussions of what the children of such a marriage must deal with. Depending on where you live, the overall attitude toward interracial mixing can be anything from open-minded to extremely taboo. I live in Greensboro, where interracial mixing is generally accepted. We have our fair share of racists, but for the most part, people deal with the issue in a positive way. It's quite common to see a black man with a white woman here, and I think that's cool that a Southern city like mine can finally accept this phenomenon.

Unfortunately, I also work with a guy that is extremely opposed to interracial mixing and marriage. Granted, this guy is extremely religious and conservative, and several other coworkers of mine lean in those directions. They all tend to be middle-aged white males with rural backgrounds that fit the Southern white stereotype. These people come from small towns outside of Greensboro, where interracial marriaging is still seen as immoral.

It's kind of funny how some people can literally be summed up by a stereotype, whether it's the white stereotype, the black one, or another. Whatever the case, to make things more interesting, another of my coworkers that works with these same people is also a middle-aged white male conservative, but he's married to a Mexican. So, despite his conservatism, he's actually quite open-minded to interracial marriage. I guess the perspective on this issue greatly depends on personal experience.

Getting back to my original point, I'd say that a lot of people against interracial marriaging live in areas where the overall opinion of the act is negative. They worry that, if the children of these marriages are brought up in an area like that, they'll suffer for their parents' choice. It's a valid rationale, although I disagree with it. I think the real issue here is this: if you're going to marry or date someone of a different race, then move to an area where this kind of thing is more readily accepted. You'll save yourself (and your loved one) a lot of trouble by doing so. When you decide to have kids with this person, the same logic applies. I'd recommend the same preparations for people entering gay relationships. It's probably a bad idea to be openly gay in a state like Wyoming or Utah, but California and New York tend to be a lot more gay-friendly. Greensboro is surprisingly open to both interracial unions and gay ones for a Southern town, although I'd highly suggest staying away from the smaller towns outside of my city.

 

[mark 19]

I think the main reason why someone would make a big deal out of interracial marriage is that he/she is looking at the negative repercussions of what the children of such a marriage must deal with. Depending on where you live, the overall attitude toward interracial mixing can be anything from open-minded to extremely taboo.

It still seems to me that this means it’s the racists that are the cause of the problem and that it could be solved by removing them from society. 😕

Getting back to my original point, I'd say that a lot of people against interracial marriaging live in areas where the overall opinion of the act is negative. They worry that, if the children of these marriages are brought up in an area like that, they'll suffer for their parents' choice. It's a valid rationale, although I disagree with it.

Perhaps this mainly an American problem because I can't think of any areas around here where this would be the case? In fact I would have though it would be dangerous to be openly against interracial marriage in the UK, it would be like being a paedophile (Sun readers would come and burn down your house - for once I'm not joking)

 

[Knox The Hatter]

I've met quite a few racially open-minded Conservatives...and some extreme right wingers too.

I've also met more than my share of the Mike Stivic/Maude Findlay "you can't do this by yourselves, you can't do this without our help" patronizing, boutique-type Liberals as well. If I never met another one, the quality of my life certainly wouldn't dip.

*

When it comes to bigots, as well as out-and-out racists, I find that the vast majority of them fall under a couple of banners. There are the ones governed by Anger and Resentment (e.g. my father, who was the only white kid in the project), or by Ignorance and Fear (e.g. my old, elderly landlady from ten years ago, who disapproved of an A/A tenant, because he had some woman stalking him, and "you know those people, they're monkeys, they all have that incredible sex drive"...). Most of them that I've met fall into those two categories. If you think about it, the next time you're with a bunch of guys, and they get to talking about the "we've given them more equal rights than you could possibly imagine, what more do they want?" or "we could solve all their problems by sending them back to Africa, we could spend reparations on THAT goal", you will notice that it all falls under these titles. I think whether you're a right or left winger, Liberal, Conservative, Democrat, Republican, Dallas Cowboys fan or NASCAR nut, doesn't really make a difference in this realm.

Not all racists and bigots are bad people. Some would give you the shirts off their back, give you money if you're in trouble, feed you from their table. I just think it's a sickness that they're suffering from, and most don't even know they're suffering.

 

[MrMacphisto]

It still seems to me that this means it’s the racists that are the cause of the problem and that it could be solved by removing them from society. 😕

I agree that they are the source of the problem, but of course, we can't do that. As tempting as that might be, this would be impossible to accomplish, and it would jeopardize the freedom of all of our citizens.

Perhaps this mainly an American problem because I can't think of any areas around here where this would be the case? In fact I would have though it would be dangerous to be openly against interracial marriage in the UK, it would be like being a paedophile (Sun readers would come and burn down your house - for once I'm not joking)

Whoa... that's messed up, man.

 

[kis123]

I've met quite a few racially open-minded Conservatives...and some extreme right wingers too.

I've also met more than my share of the Mike Stivic/Maude Findlay "you can't do this by yourselves, you can't do this without our help" patronizing, boutique-type Liberals as well. If I never met another one, the quality of my life certainly wouldn't dip.

*

Not all racists and bigots are bad people. Some would give you the shirts off their back, give you money if you're in trouble, feed you from their table. I just think it's a sickness that they're suffering from, and most don't even know they're suffering.

The problem only occurs if a black or hispanic person needs the shirt!!

Mitch, in answer to your question, I will quote my daughter who happens to be biracial:

"You can't always control who you fall in love with"

Not only is her father a white man, he is from another country. I was married to him for 10 years. When we started out, we were very much in love. My family and so-called friends told me it wouldn't last because of the race and age (he's 14 years my senior) difference. We didn't last because he didn't grow up, not because of his race or his age.

Yes, my daughter does run into problems at school because she lives in a community of suburban hillbillies who don't even realize just how racist they are. My daughter was on a bus coming from a basketball tournament, and one of her "teammates" told her "hey cornrows (referring to my daughter's braided hair), get on the back of the bus!" Everyone thought it was really funny and wondered why my daughter stormed off the bus and spoke to no one the entire 2hr trip! Another young lady was caught arguing with another student about my daughter. She said "*** is okay-she's only half-black!" So that must mean only half of her is acceptable wheras the other is not!

Racism and prejudicial stereotypes are perpetuated generation after generation by ignorant adults. They reinforce it in their children and basically ruin them even before they find out just how stupid it is.

Do I have preferences towards race in dating? No-one could consider me a United Nations type of a chick when it comes to relationships. If I like you, I like you. If I want to be with you, I want to be with you. It's like Dr King said, it's not about the color of your skin but the content of your character that interests me!

Yeah Mitch, your worker is very ignorant. I can give you story after story how I have put up with it every single day of my and my daughter's life. But it never ceases to amaze me that when I mention the subject of racism being alive and well, people come out of the woodwork accusing me of being the racist. No, I'm just the person who exposes the ugly truth for what it is and pulls no punches about it. Everyone else can keep playing ostrich and stick their head in the sands of denial. I don't get to afford such luxury.

 

[Mitchell]

I want to thank everyone for their feedback, and their support. As I said, I know this is a touchy subject, and I want to add one more thing.
Knox, my friend, you and I have discussed this at length, and you know how I feel about this guy. To be honest, he is one of the most ignorant, small minded individuals I have ever met.
Kis, you make an excellent point. We cant control who we fall in love with. Content of character, most important.
That being said, what also bothered me was his calloused, and apparently not only ignorant, but also borderline racist, comments, and the way he delivered himself. He is not, shall we say, a person of tact. I know from my own experiences in life, that one needs to exercise tact, especially when making general comments, or comments about the lives of society or others.
A person of tact, would have made an I statement, especially about such a sensitive subject. Had it been me, and I had this guy's views. I would have said something like:" For myself, because Iam white, I would prefer if at all possible to marry within my race. I feel it might cause less complications for myself, my future wife, and my children, due to the sensitive issues that exist in this society" This way, you are making it an I statement, expressing concern over sensitive issues for your own situation, and your immediate family, without sounding like you are putting on a mock robe, and judging the world, and other people's lives, who dont directly affect you. I dont have a problem if someone makes choices that affect themselves, for their own comfort. I DO have a problem of someone as ignorant as this guy, who spouts off. sounding like he is the maven of the world, judging how others live. It isnt his damn business. Unfortunately, he is such a pea brained idiot, that he thinks everything is his business. My reaction to him is such:" When you become God, then you have the right to judge. Until then, keep your damn mouth shut, because you have more character flaws than most, chief of which is that you are a judgemental moron with a big mouth, who has no tact whatsoever." GRRR! Just posting this makes me want to scream!
Okay, end of rant! Iam done. Thanks to all who posted here. I appreciate the support. It is nice to know that many of us in the forum, whatever our differences are on other issues, can unite on an issue such as this. Thanks again!

Mitch

 

[drew70]

I look forward to the day when race is something that's filled out on a medical form and nothing more. A day when people are neither proud nor ashamed of their race. A day when interracial marriage becomes so commonplace that the races all get blurred together with one another, giving people one less thing to fight about. 🙂

 

[isabeau]

I look forward to the day when race is something that's filled out on a medical form and nothing more. A day when people are neither proud nor ashamed of their race. A day when interracial marriage becomes so commonplace that the races all get blurred together with one another, giving people one less thing to fight about. 🙂

whoohoo drew and i agree. let the skies now open lol wtg drew welll said. i so agree

isabeau 😉

 

[Mitchell]

Thank you, drew, my friend. Very well put, and I couldn't agree with you more!

Mitch

 

[mark 19]

Perhaps this mainly an American problem because I can't think of any areas around here where this would be the case? In fact I would have though it would be dangerous to be openly against interracial marriage in the UK, it would be like being a paedophile (Sun readers would come and burn down your house - for once I'm not joking)

Whoa... that's messed up, man.

What? Sun readers burning down houses? Or suggesting its an mainly an American problem? (Incidentally if the answer is suggesting its mainly an American thing no offence was intended, I just haven’t seen or heard of anything like this round here?)

 

[isabeau]

Mark unfortunately america is rather narrow minded about these things, unlike the UK. would we could be more like our neighbor across the atlantic but we arent. now i'm not saying all of america but you have to admit in this day and age not to accept interracial marriages is a backwards notion. and no offense taken hon at least by me.

isabeau

 

[MrMacphisto]

What? Sun readers burning down houses? Or suggesting its an mainly an American problem? (Incidentally if the answer is suggesting its mainly an American thing no offence was intended, I just haven’t seen or heard of anything like this round here?)

Sun readers burning down houses was what I was referring to... but I realize you were exaggerating.

 

[amk714]

I look forward to the day when race is something that's filled out on a medical form and nothing more. A day when people are neither proud nor ashamed of their race. A day when interracial marriage becomes so commonplace that the races all get blurred together with one another, giving people one less thing to fight about. 🙂

Well, drew70 and I finally agree on something! It's about time. 😀