Is being tickled "unmanly"?

[Oddball]

In a societal Gender Role way, yes, being tickled (as/into submissive) is very unmanly.

Now, in reality, a male being tickled can be hundreds of thinds all dependent on how they react. As some women have pointed out, a male who acts very submissive, and when tickled, turns into a "giggling little girl" can be unnattractive. And jsut as well, others have pointed out having that power over their man is just as much a turn on as being tickled.

Personally, I don't find it unmanly because I enjoy being tickled. Now, I'm not tha ticklish, so when a woman does tickle me, I enjoy the feeling, as it's relaxing and just feels good to have that skin on skin contact. The actaul tickling aspect just adds that extra spice.

Understandably, since I'm not that ticklish, I am more of a 'Ler, and that is where I enjoy myself the most But I'm not one to take away a gal's want/need to feel dominant now and then.

 

[maniactickler]

This is one reason why i could never go to a gathering. i absolutely cannot be within hearing or visual distance of a man being tickled. it literally makes me nauseous. i tried watching a few video clips of a man being tickled and couldnt make it through it. i started getting queasy. i can only imagine witnessing it in person.

 

[kucheeku]

Two sides of a coin

This is one reason why i could never go to a gathering. i absolutely cannot be within hearing or visual distance of a man being tickled. it literally makes me nauseous. i tried watching a few video clips of a man being tickled and couldnt make it through it. i started getting queasy. i can only imagine witnessing it in person.

Funny, because I would not go to a m/f tickling gathering on my own (perhaps with someone else) in large part because */f tickling makes me uncomfortable--not nauseous--just not into it. I could try /f tickling sometime, but, boy oh boy, it would be like an agoraphobic stepping out of the house for the first time.

 

[giggle-maker]

I was under some kind of impression that NEST was supposed to be a gathering of people who shared each others intrest. I was really looking forward to going next year.

Now I find I'll be considered a misfit because I like being tickled by a girl/girls?

And my enjoyment and reactions to it make people ?


😕

 

[SirDigbyChickenCaesar]

I was under some kind of impression that NEST was supposed to be a gathering of people who shared each others intrest. I was really looking forward to going next year.

Now I find I'll be considered a misfit because I like being tickled by a girl/girls?

And my enjoyment and reactions to it make people ?


😕

Can't please everybody, but you wouldn't be the first guy that likes getting tickled to go to NEST, so I wouldn't worry about it too much.

 

[chicago]

I know that my feelings on this subject are narrow minded, so, like I said, it's not like when I go to NEST I'm dry heaving or giving dirty looks to people that enjoy f/m.

Me and Drew70 talked quite a bit at NEST. I witnessed a lot of f/m and while it's not my thing, and I have my own ideas about it, it didn't change my ideas of the people involved.

So please, don't feel discouraged about going to NEST.

 

[KrazieDog]

I was under some kind of impression that NEST was supposed to be a gathering of people who shared each others intrest. I was really looking forward to going next year.

Now I find I'll be considered a misfit because I like being tickled by a girl/girls?

And my enjoyment and reactions to it make people ?
😕

People are just stating their personal opinions GM. Some like it, some don't. There is a big makeup of sorts of people at NEST and you won't be ridiculed for it. NEST is the last place you'd be looked down on for your love. There are some very well liked guys in the community that like to get tickled. If something is not a person's particular interest, they just won't participate, others that do will, but they won't belittle you for doing what you like. Go man and have a blast.

 

[Amnesiac]

I passed this thread by for a while and didn't read it till now, but now that I've read it and seen some of the specific opinions on it, I've thought about it a little.

I suppose it can be "unmanly" in the cultural context, considering the level of cultivated aggressiveness that males are expected to exhibit in most countries. However, any scientist of reputable intellect would reveal that men are more complex than the simplistic behavior expected of them, and considering that there are very assertive men who enjoy being submissive in society and on this forum, one would have to dispense with notions of "manly" and "unmanly" because those terms have limited context whereas fetishistic activity encompasses far more complex and intricate psychological processes. You have to know what is "manly" according to definition to BE "manly", whereas you can be a submissive/dominant inside a philia/fetish without really knowing why...you just respond.

In short, "manly" is a term for conscious behavior according to narrow, externally-defined criteria; philia/fetishism applies to unconscious emotional feeling of nearly unlimited combinations.

The idea of male lees instantly makes me uncomfortable. The only reason I can come up with is that I like to date guys that exude those characteristics attributed to men only and I find tickling men to be very emasculating.
AnnieHall

Submissive men and I don't mix well...I'm not saying all Male Lee's are naturally submissive, but the one's that make me uncomfortable are...In my eyes that makes them 'unmanly', yes.
CrystalLight

Comments like these can be controversial, but I also think they have the key to the whole debate of comfort.

Some of the female 'lees here have expressed that they don't mind M/F or F/F because when viewing the scene, they do what all humans do when watching a movie/reading a book/hearing a story: they place themselves in the context they can relate to. So female 'lees can watch M/F anf F/F without discomfort because they can identify with the 'lee in the video, because they are the same gender.

With F/M, the female 'lee can't do that (at least not easily) and has to identify with either the 'ler--which in cases of 100% 'lees like Mairead don't work--or acknowledge the male. In the latter case, they revert to their personal context for men. And if you are a woman who is drawn to strong aggressive, dominant males, seeing a male 'lee in the opposite context probably draws up feelings they feel for passive, submissive men in real-life: contempt, hatred, indifference, etc.

but for a guy to willingly (and actually WANT) for another person to take control of their body and make them squirm and giggle like a little girl...

Correct me if I'm wrong Crystal and Annie, but I would assume that male 'lees don't bother you, but that F/M causes males to react in ways that don't personally appeal to you. If you like dominant, assertive men who enjoy a challenge and take charge, then a male who willingly allows and desires a submissive role that you would prefer for yourself doesn't exhibit those alluring character traits and it works AGAINST attraction and therefore causes discomfort.

Like a wine enthusiast seeing brandy used for cooking, it's a context that doesn't appeal to how they prefer wine to be consumed. They don't disagree with it necessarily, they just don't like SEEING it used that way.

I'd argue that it's a mixture of conscious and unconscious feelings, none of which indicates any kind of actual prejudice. You developed--or naturally possess--a reflexive (unconscious) feeling of allure/attraction/arousal to certain traits of masculinity (conscious) and when those two pieces are confronted with something that runs contrary to either, it causes you discomfort.

At least, that's how I figure it anyway. Maybe if masculine and feminine traits were not as oppositionally positioned as they are now, this issue wouldn't be as controversial an issue, but even then I think there'd still be some of this sort of thing left over. In the end, I think it all has more to do with personality compatibility as opposed to actual prejudice or bias.

Now I find I'll be considered a misfit because I like being tickled by a girl/girls?...And my enjoyment and reactions to it make people ?
giggle-maker

Actually, no, not really. There's no actual judgment here, this is more an issue of personal preference and the emotional reactions behind it. At NEST there's F/M out in the open, and in fact The Distraction Game featured it heavily. Nobody once said anything negative about it, and even those who personally dislike F/M for reasons mentioned here still watched and cheered. If I'm right, then it's not about hatred or contempt, just about personal comfort...the same thing as how much personal space you prefer when talking to someone.

 

[TMF Jeff]

I was under some kind of impression that NEST was supposed to be a gathering of people who shared each others intrest. I was really looking forward to going next year.

Now I find I'll be considered a misfit because I like being tickled by a girl/girls?

And my enjoyment and reactions to it make people ?


😕

What does this discussion have to do with NEST?

 

[giggle-maker]

I'm cool.

I just never thought about where my masculinity fell with my enjoyment for being tickled by a girl. I've hung out at this forum for a while and it never even crossed my mind for the same reason I don't question why inflated tires roll better than flat ones. This is the TMF. We tickle here.

So therefor it took me by an uncomfortable suprise to see the being used. It's a perpetual no-brainer expectation to see maniactickler use it for anything /M.

It just made me feel uneasy at first because it literally never was a thought.
(you aren't curious about the contents of a package if you're unaware of the existence of the package - Nietzsche)

Anyhoo I'm ok. Anne did a good job of defending her position while simultaniously makeing sure I didn't feel unwelcome for my F/M desires.

BTW, I also love tickling girls just as much as I love them tickling me!(pretty good at it too)😉

 

[goddess_nemesis]

I myself never considered a guy being tickled as unmanly. I've tickled my brother and seen my brother being tickled by our friends enough times growing up that it never crossed my mine that it was unmanly for him to be tickled. Even today, I don't see it as unmanly.

When I think of what's considered manly and what's considered womanly, all I think of are the roles society has placed men and women in. Men are supposed be strong, providers, etc. Women are supposed to be fragile, nurturing, etc. It makes me feel caged thinking of the expectations society has of men and women.

To me, it's not one way or another. I've been mostly a 'lee; I love being a 'lee, but I'm also starting to dabble with and enjoy my 'ler side. If there's a guy willing to switch and be a 'lee, all the more fun for me. 😀

 

[Strider]

I haven't bottomed in about a year and a half at this point, and I'm starting to think if I do again, it's going to be a pretty rare occurrence. That being said, I don't view it as intrinsically 'unmanly' for any reason.

But, as has been mentioned here already; there's a certain attitude among some subs (and for whatever reason, there seem to be proportionately more among male subs than female) that leads them to basically want to kneel and kiss the feet of virtually any women who comes within five feet of them. And the funny thing is many of those who express this mentality don't even strike me as subs at all. When discussing what they want during play, they generally give the sort of detailed instructions generally reserved for missions to Jupiter. That mentality is unmanly (as well as being annoying as hell).

 

[J_Laughs]

Hmmm

I'm only into F/M and M/F.

What kinda heterosexual guy DOESN'T like a cute girl moving her fingers all over his body!?!

The only problem for me is I find it quite hard to remove the "sexual" aspect.

In my life, most tickling situations have been of the foreplay variety and not really any formal "platonic" bondage dom-sub thing.

I actually think it exudes a certain amount of sexual self-confidence to allow yourself to be a lee for a F who is into "lering" it up.

I once dated a girl that couldn't "O" unless she was on top. I had no problem with that. Same sort deal in my opinion.

 

[kucheeku]

Good point to make

I haven't bottomed in about a year and a half at this point, and I'm starting to think if I do again, it's going to be a pretty rare occurrence. That being said, I don't view it as intrinsically 'unmanly' for any reason.

But, as has been mentioned here already; there's a certain attitude among some subs (and for whatever reason, there seem to be proportionately more among male subs than female) that leads them to basically want to kneel and kiss the feet of virtually any women who comes within five feet of them. And the funny thing is many of those who express this mentality don't even strike me as subs at all. When discussing what they want during play, they generally give the sort of detailed instructions generally reserved for missions to Jupiter. That mentality is unmanly (as well as being annoying as hell).

This actually happens with m/m tickling as well. I've had numerous guys who are very willing subs, but do so with very detailed instructions. IMHO, getting to that minutiae of detail gets to be a chore and not a fun, spontaneous experience. And you are right, under those circumstances the lee becomes too much of a micromanaging boss. No fun.

 

[quinn65]

Good question

Interesting thread. It caught my eye because early on I was always the tickler. It was all about control, and me being in it. 😉

Then about two years ago--around the same time I started LOL--some friends who I had tickled before (my wife, Lynn from one of our clips, and one other lady) sort of duped me into being a 'lee. The old "You can tickle all three of us at once if we can get you back" trick. I refused at first because of the top/alpha/control thing, and also because while I have pretty high threshholds for most things, getting tickled kicks my ass. But they worked on me, and finally I gave in. Turned out to be a fun night, and it definitely started sort of a tidal shift in the way I think about this stuff.

Since then, and also since starting LOL, I've found myself on the receiving end more often. And once I got over some of the contol issues, it was/is/can be fun. But given my initial outlook I have struggled a bit with the "manly" issue raised in this thread.

Here's the big difference for me: I only like being the 'lee if the women doing the tickling are totally in control and totally enjoying it. I wouldn't like getting tickled at all if the 'lers were doing me a "favor" or following some kind of script I set up. They need to be in it for their own sadistic pleasure with the intent of wiping me out. To me--at least the way we play it--that doesn't seem wimpy at all. It's more like a cage match. 😉

I've wondered about NEST too and how this dynamic might play out for me there. If I attended--and I almost did this year & probably will before long--I'd probably just stay a top. But they say no plan ever survives contact with the enemy, so who knows...?

-Q.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

I was under some kind of impression that NEST was supposed to be a gathering of people who shared each others intrest. I was really looking forward to going next year.

Now I find I'll be considered a misfit because I like being tickled by a girl/girls?

And my enjoyment and reactions to it make people ?


😕

Yes. NEST Is a gathering for that, amongst other reason's. Meeting friends, etc.

Nobody implied you we're going to be considered anything but what you choose to express yourself as.

Echoing Mai, Since we both have a similar view on F/M..

I too was at NEST and there indeed was quite a bit of F/M going on.

Men we're getting tickled...Women we're getting tickled...

It's tickling. That's where the similarity lays.

No one will EVER (hopefully) make you feel uncomfortable about what your personal preference is..

But remember..

We all don't share the same outlook as far as that goes.

It doesn't make us bad people. And it doesn't make us people who are going to try and ruin your playing.

It just make's us different.

And that's fine.

 

[SirDigbyChickenCaesar]

Yes. NEST Is a gathering for that, amongst other reason's. Meeting friends, etc.

Nobody implied you we're going to be considered anything but what you choose to express yourself as.

Echoing Mai, Since we both have a similar view on F/M..

I too was at NEST and there indeed was quite a bit of F/M going on.

Men we're getting tickled...Women we're getting tickled...

It's tickling. That's where the similarity lays.

No one will EVER (hopefully) make you feel uncomfortable about what your personal preference is..

But remember..

We all don't share the same outlook as far as that goes.

It doesn't make us bad people. And it doesn't make us people who are going to try and ruin your playing.

It just make's us different.

And that's fine.

BAM! That nailed it right on the head.

 

[WorkInProgress]

I think it's very manly, in the most traditional sense there is. Getting tickled is, after all, an exercise in enduring extreme sensory bombardment, and most manhood rituals over the ages have been some variant on that.

 

[kucheeku]

Wow

I think it's very manly, in the most traditional sense there is. Getting tickled is, after all, an exercise in enduring extreme sensory bombardment, and most manhood rituals over the ages have been some variant on that.

That's an excellent point! Glad you made it and wish I did 🙂

 

[ericr]

I do not think it is unmanly for a man to be tickled. People (male and female) are ticklish and laugh when tickled. Shakespeare noted that men of various cultures laugh when tickled. It is not a gender thing; it is a human thing.

What is unmanly is if a man who is tickled is not a good sport about it. That is just like not being a good sport about enduring other bombardments of the senses is unmanly.

 

[Texas_Tickle]

I'm not coming at this topic with any agenda, but do you think that being tickled goes against what are traditionally male roles in society, such as the submissive aspect of being tickled?

Looking forward to hearing your opinions,
Roo

Perhaps, if you go by the mindset that men have to be 'macho men' and have to be in control 24/7. I personally love being tickled because for once I am NOT in control.

 

[jj82277]

I'm not coming at this topic with any agenda, but do you think that being tickled goes against what are traditionally male roles in society, such as the submissive aspect of being tickled?

Looking forward to hearing your opinions,
Roo

This is a very good question. reading a lot of stories written by male lees i think that some of the get off on the concept of short-termimasculation.

as a male ler i will admit that it is something that i don't fully understand, but i wouldn't say that it is inherently imasculine (even thouhg the illusion may be created in the play)! it's just part of your sexuality. can it be, YES. if someone is just sitting in a room all day never watches football goes fishing etc. and plays with barbie dolls (i am being overly sarcastic and exagerating to make a point) then yeh that can be wierd. but if a guy is an uber manly (yes that was supposed to be funny, go ahead and laugh) football player and likes the idea of being lovingly tickled by his girl while tied up then hey more power to him.

I remember i had a lee tell me once that she was going to tickle and scratch my balls. i have been trying for years to make that sound less heavenly, but it just doesn't stick. does that make me less of an uber jock (yes funny again) i don't think so.

 

[terorizer]

but do you think that being tickled goes against what are traditionally male roles in society, such as the submissive aspect of being tickled?

Looking forward to hearing your opinions,
Roo

Naaah. This query is in fact a close cousin to the proclamation from others outside the kink that it "is silly/childish/immature", etc. Of course, I take tickling on it's on merit. It's the people and their own relationship to tickling/being tickled which establish the terms... other than that, it's just what the dictionary says it is. I don't look at it in terms of dominant/submissive/control or whatever. These describe the person, not the act.

 

[MistressValerie]

I think it's very manly, in the most traditional sense there is. Getting tickled is, after all, an exercise in enduring extreme sensory bombardment, and most manhood rituals over the ages have been some variant on that.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[Jester_777]

I think it's very manly, in the most traditional sense there is. Getting tickled is, after all, an exercise in enduring extreme sensory bombardment, and most manhood rituals over the ages have been some variant on that.

I think there's a teeny, tiny bit of difference between being ritually scarred, mutilated, or beaten, and having something done to you that turns you on ( that you actually ask to have done to you).
Just sayin'......😀