Is extramarital tickling cheating?

[stloldg]

I loved tickling since I took my first breath; it’s a part of my body and soul, but my wife not into tickling. Not, like I am I like to tickle other people and she just want to keep it in house.

So, not she made at me because I spend all my time on the Tickling Forums downloading clips, looking at pictures and reading stories. She said that I was cheating on her because I spend my time on the internet.

She spends her time looking at LIFE TV among other MALE BASHING things.

SOOOOOOO!!!!, is looking at tickling clips, pictures or chatting with other people with the same love of tickling cheating?

 

[isabeau]

I loved tickling since I took my first breath; it’s a part of my body and soul, but my wife not into tickling. Not, like I am I like to tickle other people and she just want to keep it in house.

So, not she made at me because I spend all my time on the Tickling Forums downloading clips, looking at pictures and reading stories. She said that I was cheating on her because I spend my time on the internet.

She spends her time looking at LIFE TV among other MALE BASHING things.

SOOOOOOO!!!!, is looking at tickling clips, pictures or chatting with other people with the same love of tickling cheating?

omg your wife and my husband must be twins. he thinks exactly the same as your wife. however he doesnt mind my coming onto the forum as mostly i do that while he is at work. but other than that, he thinks the fetish is sick. and that i'm doomed, especially whenever i bring up nest. he has to be the most stubborn man on the face of the earth.

isabeau

 

[Illtcklu]

omg your wife and my husband must be twins. he thinks exactly the same as your wife. however he doesnt mind my coming onto the forum as mostly i do that while he is at work. but other than that, he thinks the fetish is sick. and that i'm doomed, especially whenever i bring up nest. he has to be the most stubborn man on the face of the earth.

isabeau

Yes! We've talked about this, Izzy! It's not cheating in my opinion! It's the same as hugging another woman. Even if you get turned on by it is it cheating I say no! Your married not DEAD! Your still going to react to you surroundings! If I love cars am I cheating on my girlfriend? She may be envious of that but it's not CHEATING!!!!!!!

 

[tklcouple]

counsel

stloldg

My advice: If she does not care about what is important to you then the whole "I love you" thing is in my opinion pure bullshit. When you love someone, what is important to them is important to you - period. You do not tell someone you love to just ignore a central part of who they are and that is that just because you don't care for it and expect them to be happy because you grace them with your presence. As I see it you have to decide: since you cannot change her you must decide whether you can live with repressing that part of yourself (perhaps in misery for the sake of children for instance) forever, whether you are going to continue and live with the constant conflict and risk a nasty divorce (you are a man ergo you will loose your ass financially despite possibly ending up more happy), or file for divorce now and get it over with.

I cannot tell you which will work for you, you have your own circumstances and I only know of the little I have seen on this and the recently preceeding related thread. For me I would drop her like a bad habit, especially if there are no kids yet. Life is too short to be treated like the things that are important to you are to be repressed and denied. Just a guess: sounds like she expects you to live for her, only for her, as she expects you to, and with her in complete control. Your needs, let alone likes and dislikes are irrelevant because after all you are just a man not a woman and marraige is after all about the woman. Some women have a view of marriage that it's all about her and what you can do for her and anything you want or need is irrelevant and up to her whether you are granted any of your desires (and of course you better thank her endlessly on your knees for any little thing at all, right) but heaven forbid you don't work like a dog to grant her every desire, spoken or unspoken. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of decent women out there who understand the concept of love, that give and take goes both ways, and the idea that each partner takes care of the other. It doesn't sound like your wife is one of those women. Yes, man bashing is very PC but then again that same culture has produced a divorce rate in excess of 50% since that time when it became fashionable.

Just my $0.02.

Professor Tkl

 

[stloldg]

stloldg

My advice: If she does not care about what is important to you then the whole "I love you" thing is in my opinion pure bullshit. When you love someone, what is important to them is important to you - period. You do not tell someone you love to just ignore a central part of who they are and that is that just because you don't care for it and expect them to be happy because you grace them with your presence. As I see it you have to decide: since you cannot change her you must decide whether you can live with repressing that part of yourself (perhaps in misery for the sake of children for instance) forever, whether you are going to continue and live with the constant conflict and risk a nasty divorce (you are a man ergo you will loose your ass financially despite possibly ending up more happy), or file for divorce now and get it over with.

I cannot tell you which will work for you, you have your own circumstances and I only know of the little I have seen on this and the recently preceeding related thread. For me I would drop her like a bad habit, especially if there are no kids yet. Life is too short to be treated like the things that are important to you are to be repressed and denied. Just a guess: sounds like she expects you to live for her, only for her, as she expects you to, and with her in complete control. Your needs, let alone likes and dislikes are irrelevant because after all you are just a man not a woman and marraige is after all about the woman. Some women have a view of marriage that it's all about her and what you can do for her and anything you want or need is irrelevant and up to her whether you are granted any of your desires (and of course you better thank her endlessly on your knees for any little thing at all, right) but heaven forbid you don't work like a dog to grant her every desire, spoken or unspoken. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of decent women out there who understand the concept of love, that give and take goes both ways, and the idea that each partner takes care of the other. It doesn't sound like your wife is one of those women. Yes, man bashing is very PC but then again that same culture has produced a divorce rate in excess of 50% since that time when it became fashionable.

Just my $0.02.

Professor Tkl

THIS IS IS A PERSON OF WISDOM

 

[isabeau]

other than that one thing though we are happy. i wouldnt divorce him over something like this. we have been thru way too much in our married life to haggle over this. especially since i havent experienced it anyway. he can be stubborn but he doesnt change for me and i dont change for him. its why we have been married 27 years....

isabeau

i mean we have made changes for each other, but its not onesided at all. we are each two parts of one person. but there is the matter of tickling.... but heck i can live. without him i couldnt

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

In my opinion it most definately "IS NOT" Cheating

 

[smyslov]

other than that one thing though we are happy. i wouldnt divorce him over something like this. we have been thru way too much in our married life to haggle over this. especially since i havent experienced it anyway. he can be stubborn but he doesnt change for me and i dont change for him. its why we have been married 27 years....

isabeau

i mean we have made changes for each other, but its not onesided at all. we are each two parts of one person. but there is the matter of tickling.... but heck i can live. without him i couldnt

Good to see that, A) You realize the importance of tickling to yourself but B) You realize how much more there is to a good relationship besides just tickling and that while tickling may be your passion, there are other passions that keep you with your husband.

 

[vegasfootboy]

old threads rock!

this is an oldie but a goodie : ),, i havnt been around in awhile but whenever i see this old thread rehashed i always have to throw in my 2 cents,,

the subject of whether it is cheating is a hot topic in many ways,, those who are comfortable in thier relationships will always say " heck no! its not cheating!! your spouse is a bad person for making you feel that way"

then we have the opposite opinion,,, those who get very jealous with the mere mention of thier significant other engaging in any outside pursuits with anyone else or even the viewing of media relating to anything sexual or stimulating whatsoever,,

ive said it before and ill say it again,, its all about how you feel.... if you feel like you are cheating then chances are you ARE! its one of those things where you have to put yourself into that other persons shoes and think to yourself,, " would i be upset if they did something like that to me?" while in any relationship TRUST is key,, if you ever feel you are being sneaky going behind thier back with the viewing of related materials or whether you are meeting with others ouside of the relationship and it gives you a feeling of being deceitfull in any way whatsoever,, then you need to search your feelings and have a bit of compassion for the other person,,even if your partner knows about your doing it if they feel uncomfortable with it,, then you definately should respect thier feelings,, if not? then be single,, end of problem.....

 

[proudaya]

would you mind

My thing with this is my wife would be pissed she knows how this turns me on. The question I have for all of you is would you be mad if your spouse did it with someone else and if it was behind your back. My wife caught me doing it to one of her friends at a bar we were pretty tuned up and joking around it wasn't even a sexual tickle more like joking but she went nuts I had to say I was sorry and she asked me how I would feel if it were the other way around I would not like it.

 

[isabeau]

My thing with this is my wife would be pissed she knows how this turns me on. The question I have for all of you is would you be mad if your spouse did it with someone else and if it was behind your back. My wife caught me doing it to one of her friends at a bar we were pretty tuned up and joking around it wasn't even a sexual tickle more like joking but she went nuts I had to say I was sorry and she asked me how I would feel if it were the other way around I would not like it.

ahh yes i was thinking the very same thing. would i get mad if my husband did this behind my back? hell yea.... but the thing is i would let him, if he asked me, and i knew for sure that it wouldnt turn sexual, and knowing my husband it would not because he is very faithful to me. so yes i can see put yourself in the others shoes. my husband is very protective and rather overbearingly possessive and would not, i repeat would not be happy at all if i went behind his back. it would cause a split of which i am not prepared to sacrifice .......

isabeau

 

[Michael514]

I did in fact have a tickle session with a couple of women after I was married and that was 14 years ago. I admitt I gave into the temptation, but when I saw the hurt and concern my wife was going through when she suspected me of straying unfaithfully , I had to put a stop to it. I knew if I was stupid enough to say that I wasn't sleeping with her I was only tickling her it still wouldn't of made a bit of difference. The other woman and myself agreed to stop because she too felt she was betraying her husband. I have been with my wife ,faithfully, since we were 16 and we are now 41 and yes it would kill me if I found out she was doing the same thing behind my back. To write stories and tell the other sex about tickling fantasies is one thing. I don't know if actually tickling someone else, if you or the other is married is cheating or not, but it seems that it may have the same effect on your better half as if you were in fact unfaithful and could lead to hurt and to a betayal of trust.

 

[maniactickler]

I loved tickling since I took my first breath; it’s a part of my body and soul, but my wife not into tickling. Not, like I am I like to tickle other people and she just want to keep it in house.

So, not she made at me because I spend all my time on the Tickling Forums downloading clips, looking at pictures and reading stories. She said that I was cheating on her because I spend my time on the internet.

She spends her time looking at LIFE TV among other MALE BASHING things.

SOOOOOOO!!!!, is looking at tickling clips, pictures or chatting with other people with the same love of tickling cheating?

Anyone that thinks thats cheating is just prudish and uptight.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I don't think that is cheating at all. That is an interest that you have and she should respect it, even though she doesn't agree with it. I agree with maniactickler that she is prudish and uptight. Since I have joined TMF back in April of 2005, I have met with several guys who have been married and have had tickle dates with them because their wives aren't into it. It was all platonic and nothing sexual happened nor would I let anything sexual happen. That's not cheating either.


She should just respect your interest in tickling.

 

[proudaya]

the question is how would you feel if your boyfriend or husband was doing it to other women. I am not saying i am a saint I have done it never sex but have done some tickling I just like doing it. But I know its not right I would be upset if she did it with someone else mainly because she doesnt do it that much with me. I guess I am a hipocrite when it comes to tickling but again I have been doing this for years and old habbits are hard to break

 

[Ray<3tiklishft]

It's NOT cheating so tickle all you want. If she doesn't like it, oh well.

 

[Limeoutsider]

It would depend....do you mean, sneaking out and going to meet with someone?...or saying "You know what, this is what I like and Im going to do it"....it'd depend on the circumstances.

 

[siamese dream]

Cheating is complicated to define, some would say cheating is pretty much limited to sexual intercourse or other sex acts with someone besides your partner, for some the lines are more blurry. I think my boyfriend would be really upset if I was meeting other guys for tickling, or if I expressed a desire to meet someone else for tickling. But our situation is a little different because he knows about my interest in tickling, and that it's a sexual turn-on, and he doesn't feel that there's anything bad about it, he enjoys that kind of play with me even if he might not understand it or enjoy it to the same depth that I do, he still 'gets' the appeal of it and I haven't ever had to be shy about my fantasies with him, which is good. But I do feel driven sometimes to talk to other people who have felt this way pretty much their whole lives about tickling on here and further explore these fantasies in writing, it's more of a combination of trying to understand myself better and having a fascination with tickling in general, and no place is better than the TMF for finding all things tickling-related. Real-life tickling is much more intense and personal than anything I might read about or talk about on the TMF and so it's two seperate issues for me.

Also, I would be probably insanely jealous and pissed if I had caught him tickling another woman in a 'more-than-playful' type of way, or even if it was truly playful and innocent, I don't think I could keep myself from feeling jealous because it's just who I am. I know he would be jealous too if I was in that situation with another guy, especially with him knowing how much it turns me on.

However, as far as looking at the TMF and pornographic/sexual material in general, we don't have any problems with each other in that respect. Hell, our subscription to Playboy magazine is in my name and we both read it, we watch porn together, look at naughty stuff on the net together sometimes, and discuss our fantasies pretty openly. It's a hard situation when you've got one partner who is completely closed-minded to something. You've got to keep in mind that you did make a committment whether or not your partner is as open-minded as you'd like them to be. If it's important enough that it makes you question your committment to each other then it's something you should keep talking about until you find some middle ground, or decide that the relationship isn't going to work out.

 

[Stevereeno]

If you're MARRIED and you need to seek affection and attention from other opposite sex members, there is a good chance the marriage won't last!

 

[kered]

Is it the material itself or the time you spend looking at it that ticks her off? Better find out then prepare to adjust. She's the only one who can tell you and maybe you could work a compromise.

 

[MrPartickler]

an oldie but goodie...

Does she want you to spend more time with her, or to just stop spending time looking at tickling stuff? There's a big difference there, IMHO. And if it's the latter, she may not readily admit it, but her displeasure with you will probably still be apparent down the road.

My guess is, since she's not a part of this area of your life that you are so interested in, she feels a bit threatened by it. After all, it is at least somewhat sexual in nature, right? You might feel the same way of the roles were reversed. And, if you're honest with yourself, you probably know whether or not she has reason to be concerned or not.

If you think that if/when placed in a "convenient" situation where one of your chatters offers to let you tickle them you might succumb to that invitation, you really should start doing some soul-searching about where all this--online chatting, etc. and your relationship--is going. Because at some point, it's bound to get there if you're not actively preventing it. Otherwise, worst-case, you may just have to be more open with her about what's actually going on when you're chatting.

So, yes, a "big talk" is probably looming ahead for you both regardless

Good luck.

 

[isabeau]

If you're MARRIED and you need to seek affection and attention from other opposite sex members, there is a good chance the marriage won't last!

being married doesnt make you dead. everyone wants affection and/or attention from the opposite sex, doesnt mean you are going to cheat on your husband. and this from someone who has been married for 27 years. i still enjoy attention from the opposite sex, thats normal. what are you supposed to do after marriage, walk around with your head lowered or better yet wear a sack over your head?

isabeau

 

[unit5610]

being married doesnt make you dead. everyone wants affection and/or attention from the opposite sex, doesnt mean you are going to cheat on your husband. and this from someone who has been married for 27 years. i still enjoy attention from the opposite sex, thats normal. what are you supposed to do after marriage, walk around with your head lowered or better yet wear a sack over your head?

isabeau

I agree with Isabeau, but I must say I've wrestled with the tickling part of this one. My wife isn't ticklish at all and I really miss the opportunity to be a 'ler. I've been able to sneak a few tickles on various women over the years but the situation has to be just right for me to do it, something that would be quick and playful and almost "asked for", which is kinda rare.

 

[kis123]

My thing with this is my wife would be pissed she knows how this turns me on. The question I have for all of you is would you be mad if your spouse did it with someone else and if it was behind your back. My wife caught me doing it to one of her friends at a bar we were pretty tuned up and joking around it wasn't even a sexual tickle more like joking but she went nuts I had to say I was sorry and she asked me how I would feel if it were the other way around I would not like it.

Looks like you already have your answer!

Maybe you could find a way to slowly include her into your tickling passions. Most women (emphasis on most) don't mind trying some things out in the name of making their man happy as long as it doesn't involve something crazy! Have a heart-to-heart with her and see what it gets. You already know what tickling someone else will get you so you have little to lose at this point.

 

[ms.brightside]

it's pretty unrealistic to assume that just one person can satisfy you the rest of your life....romantically, emotionally, sexually....

any man i've ever been with has known that i get my kicks in all sorts of ways. sexuality isn't something to be ashamed of or hidden just because someone else in your life has a problem with it, or is self conscious of you sharing your interests with another man/woman.

IMO...its not cheating. so go have your fun.