Is it a little rude to be early?

[milagros317]

My sister-in-law is very upset when people are early, even five minutes early. I think that is unreasonable since it is very hard to gauge things to arrive within a minute or two of exactly on time.

Personally, I think a window of 15 minutes early to 5 minutes late is perfectly fine.

 

[sasaxrah]

I am neurotic about time. I am early to everything, but if I am early to someone's house, I usually just take a walk so I'm not inconveniencing them. I rarely show up right on time and even more rarely, late.

If I'm hosting and someone is more than 10 minutes early, I usually just give them a beer, direct them to the couch, and talk to them as I continue to prepare for other people to arrive. Or, if they are smart, they offer to help.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

I was actually brought up with the notion that being 15 minutes early means that you're on time. Anything after that was late. It drives me bonkers to be late for anything if there's a schedule. But, if I know someone tends to need the time to finish preparing things, I'll also try to not be early. Or, if it's someone who will accept help finishing things up, I'll offer to do so. I think it's a matter of knowing and caring about people enough to honor what they're comfy with.

I've had friends who are always late, no matter what. So, I generally will tell them I need them somewhere before the time I actually want them there...esp. if it's for something that starts on a specific schedule. I don't think I've ever had anyone who arrives early on a consistent basis. But, if they did and I know I'll need the time, I'd likely tell them a few minutes later than the time I want them there. With parties, I generally tell folks any time after X. Then they know not to arrive too early and can get there as late as they like. 😉

Myself? I generally tend to be ready for things early. I can be downright anal about being ready in advance at times because I feel it to be an imposition to invite people for a certain time and then not be ready. I also try to have whatever I can done well in advance since I never know how coopoerative my body will be in allowing me to do things last minute. So, if folks arrive earlier than expected, it's generally not an issue. It's only rarely that I'm doing things last second. I'm genreally sitting relaxing with everything set when people arrive.

 

[Sanhael]

We've all been taught that being late is rude, or at least unthoughtful...but is it kinda rude to be early? ...friends were supposed to drop off their child for a playdate; they called and said they'd be about 30 minutes late, then showed up 10 minutes before the original time, making them 40 minutes early

I would say that five minutes early isn't a problem, and that 10 would be pushing it, but that's just a personal take on things; I was taught by my parents to be ready 15 minutes early for just about anything, which still leaves a 5-minute margin.

40 minutes is ridiculous, and see-sawing like that strikes me as inexcusable. It's enormously disrespectful to you, and to the fact that you *just might* have other things to do with your time besides make yourself available to their every sudden change in whim.

I can sympathize. I moved to a new state (new to me, that is) recently, and everybody around here is completely spontaneous. People show up randomly without calling to see if you have plans, windows within which "I'm coming over" can be 6-8 hours in length, etc. I've had dinner plans change from one restaurant, to another, back to the first, then add a person and relocate themselves to my apartment within the space of 2 hours on the night of... and I wasn't the one making any of those changes. Plus, people with extremely restrictive lifestyles and fundamentalist viewpoints see absolutely no problem with inviting themselves along on plans that did not initially include them, then demanding that other people accommodate their preferences (be said preferences dietary, or religiously-based social restrictions, or the desire to strike up offensive conversations).

It drives me absolutely nuts, lol.