I understand what you feel, it happens to me very often. I feel weird, i feel that i can lose my friends if they discover my secret... I feek guilty if i think of tickling someone i like, cause i know it isn't just a childish game but she don't know that. Me too, tried too hard to be normal, but i can't even lie to myself. I just could stop watching tickling videos, leaving all the forums and my secret facebook account, but i knew i keep loving the tickling, that was inevitable. Can i give you 1 or 2 tips? Try to accept a little more you are who are, and the fact you won't change doesn't mind you can't accept you just like you are, with your fetishes and everything. This kind of forums is good to see you are not the only "freak" who loves tickling, is good to search for somebody here who thinks similar to us to have a friend who shares our fetish. And this is more difficult, but if you can tell about this to at least one friend of you, someody you know he/she will undestand you and accept you. The last thing is because when somebody feels bad, he uses to go to speak with his friends. But when you feels bad because a secret like this, you have not anybody who talk to. Having a friend who knows everything and can lend you a ear will help you. Hope i could help 🙂