Is not being ticklish a deal breaker? (or for 'lees: someone who doesn't tickle...)

[The Internet]

You like someone. They seem to like you back. Time goes by, things move along....when suddenly one day, you get the guts to try, the time is right....or, if you're like most of us, the time is probably NOT right, but we can't wait any longer (lol).......or maybe you just find out some other way, but the verdict is: not ticklish. You'd have better luck trying to tickle a carrot.

Deal breaker? Or no deal breaker?

For me, I must confess.....it always has! They become like wood, like a number two pencil to me! I immediately think, well....let's try to cobble together a nice friendship out of this instead! Ha! I think....I really should introduce her to Randy and Ralph over there.....

When I was in college, I got really close to an amazing girl, aside from being creative and cool and funny and talented and warm and smart, she was one of the prettiest, most beautiful women I've ever met, to this day! Can you believe my good fortune that I actually had this girl, wrapped up in my arms, lips locked, the whole bit.....who knows where we could have gone....any man would be more than enriched to have her in his life......baked amazing apple pies......I soon told her I wanted to stay friends! She wasn't ticklish! "I used to be ticklish, but then I decided it was just a waste of time" were her exact words to me. Meanwhile I'm just looking at her and thinking, waste of time? More like waste of woman! "Sometimes when someone's kissing my neck, I can't deal" she did say that.

(I actually DID get her once, a couple of years later, massaging that area right above the hip bones with my thumbs, that deathly area....got her hysterical and then she actually THANKED me when I left, later on. "Thanks for stopping by...and thanks for tickling me....showing me a little lovin' ".....I can STILL hear her say it, I thought to myself....waaaaaaaat?!!) (other than that one time, nothing)

She became a GREAT friend, a lifelong friend actually, and it worked out absolutely perfect in the long run. But I wonder if she could possibly have any idea that she was REJECTED...probably the only time in her life....because she wasn't ticklish!!!!


******

And lees, what about you? The guy (or girl) doesn't ever think to tickle you.........maybe you explain it or give him hints, and he STILL doesn't tickle you, doesn't WANT to tickle you, is incredulous about the whole thing.......or perhaps they try, but are inept. They're one of those inept ticklesr, those incompetent, silly, pathetic people who don't know to use their fingers to explore the body, ugh......Maybe they just give up too easily. Is THAT a deal breaker?

ALSO........do you prefer the 'ler to be not ticklish? I should probably make that one its own thread!

 

[Wolf]

You like someone. They seem to like you back. Time goes by, things move along....when suddenly one day, you get the guts to try, the time is right....or, if you're like most of us, the time is probably NOT right, but we can't wait any longer (lol).......or maybe you just find out some other way, but the verdict is: not ticklish. You'd have better luck trying to tickle a carrot.
Deal breaker? Or no deal breaker?
For me, I must confess.....it always has! They become like wood, like a number two pencil to me! I immediately think, well....let's try to cobble together a nice friendship out of this instead! Ha! I think....I really should introduce her to Randy and Ralph over there.....
When I was in college, I got really close to an amazing girl, aside from being creative and cool and funny and talented and warm and smart, she was one of the prettiest, most beautiful women I've ever met, to this day! Can you believe my good fortune that I actually had this girl, wrapped up in my arms, lips locked, the whole bit.....who knows where we could have gone....any man would be more than enriched to have her in his life......baked amazing apple pies......I soon told her I wanted to stay friends! She wasn't ticklish! "I used to be ticklish, but then I decided it was just a waste of time" were her exact words to me. Meanwhile I'm just looking at her and thinking, waste of time? More like waste of woman! "Sometimes when someone's kissing my neck, I can't deal" she did say that.
(I actually DID get her once, a couple of years later, massaging that area right above the hip bones with my thumbs, that deathly area....got her hysterical and then she actually THANKED me when I left, later on. "Thanks for stopping by...and thanks for tickling me....showing me a little lovin' ".....I can STILL hear her say it, I thought to myself....waaaaaaaat?!!) (other than that one time, nothing)
She became a GREAT friend, a lifelong friend actually, and it worked out absolutely perfect in the long run. But I wonder if she could possibly have any idea that she was REJECTED...probably the only time in her life....because she wasn't ticklish!!!!
******
And lees, what about you? The guy (or girl) doesn't ever think to tickle you.........maybe you explain it or give him hints, and he STILL doesn't tickle you, doesn't WANT to tickle you, is incredulous about the whole thing.......or perhaps they try, but are inept. They're one of those inept ticklesr, those incompetent, silly, pathetic people who don't know to use their fingers to explore the body, ugh......Maybe they just give up too easily. Is THAT a deal breaker?
ALSO........do you prefer the 'ler to be not ticklish? I should probably make that one its own thread!

Did you ever think to ask why she thought it was a waste of time?
Dude, she is ticklish. You just weren't paying attention to what she was saying. Think you let a good one slip away, there.

 

[The Internet]

Did you ever think to ask why she thought it was a waste of time?
Dude, she is ticklish. You just weren't paying attention to what she was saying. Think you let a good one slip away, there.

No, bro, I tried many times, saw other guys try too....she was very, very comfortable with her body. She had gotten over it. She was a dancer and an actress (where they train you to be in control of your body, and where you got touched alot), she was also a little promiscuous, I might add, and good for her, she enjoyed herself for sure. She was very, very comfortable in her own body. (her friend, by the way, WAS ticklish...and loved it! "It means I'm sensitive to touch" she said flirtily and giggling while she said it, it was adorable....I got HER many times!)

But as for the unticklish girl.....when I did get her, it was in that hip bone area, you know what I'm talking about right? REAL ticklers know that spot, so....please....and the reason she WAS ticklish there was because she'd never been touched there, I mean, who does that other than a tickler, massage that area right above the hip bones with your thumbs? That's why I tried her there, and sure enough, it was the final frontier.

And guess what? After a few mintues of DEEP, hysterical giggling, where she was just frozen, with her eyes squeezed shut, in deep laughter...indisputably ticklish....after a few minutes of THAT? She conquered that too! And then I tried again...and nothing....and she's sitting there, staring at the ceiling with an intent look on her face, WANTING to be tickled, and it was gone....

Please, Wolf, with all due repect....if I say the girl ain't ticklish, she ain't ticklish! She wasn't my first rodeo! She wasn't my twentieth! And I DID get her, that one time! Probably the last guy ever to do it! I accomplished something who knows HOW many guys tried to do...(and maybe girls too, she had a passionate affair with a lesbian director a few years later!) So please, my TMF brother, my excellent friend....accord me some respect! You should be slapping me five! I got her! I got her good! You should have been there!

I've had her arms high over her head, I've had my hand on her legs, I've had her feet in my hands many times, massaging, I've had my hands wrapped around her waist, believe me, I gave it ample tries...... she ain't ticklish.

Some people AREN'T ticklish.

And so....deal breaker! (look what she missed out on!!)

 

[Wolf]

No, bro, I tried many times, saw other guys try too....she was very, very comfortable with her body. She had gotten over it. She was a dancer and an actress (where they train you to be in control of your body, and where you got touched alot), she was also a little promiscuous, I might add, and good for her, she enjoyed herself for sure. She was very, very comfortable in her own body. (her friend, by the way, WAS ticklish...and loved it! "It means I'm sensitive to touch" she said flirtily and giggling while she said it, it was adorable....I got HER many times!)

But as for the unticklish girl.....when I did get her, it was in that hip bone area, you know what I'm talking about right? REAL ticklers know that spot, so....please....and the reason she WAS ticklish there was because she'd never been touched there, I mean, who does that other than a tickler, massage that area right above the hip bones with your thumbs? That's why I tried her there, and sure enough, it was the final frontier.

And guess what? After a few mintues of DEEP, hysterical giggling, where she was just frozen, with her eyes squeezed shut, in deep laughter...indisputably ticklish....after a few minutes of THAT? She conquered that too! And then I tried again...and nothing....and she's sitting there, staring at the ceiling with an intent look on her face, WANTING to be tickled, and it was gone....

Please, Wolf, with all due repect....if I say the girl ain't ticklish, she ain't ticklish! She wasn't my first rodeo! She wasn't my twentieth! And I DID get her, that one time! Probably the last guy ever to do it! I accomplished something who knows HOW many guys tried to do...(and maybe girls too, she had a passionate affair with a lesbian director a few years later!) So please, my TMF brother, my excellent friend....accord me some respect! You should be slapping me five! I got her! I got her good! You should have been there!

I've had her arms high over her head, I've had my hand on her legs, I've had her feet in my hands many times, massaging, I've had my hands wrapped around her waist, believe me, I gave it ample tries...... she ain't ticklish.

Some people AREN'T ticklish.

And so....deal breaker! (look what she missed out on!!)

No worries. I may still disagree with you on the final analysis, but I'd never deny your enthusiasm.

 

[Sensualswitch10]

It is not only a deal-breaker for me hypothetically, it has been on more than one occasion.
Sadly in addition to not being ticklish, there is also the scenario where a woman was traumatized by merciless tickling as a child, causing her to totally freak out when tickled. I feel bad for her but still.

I met a girl several years back, great girl, pretty, smart nice. And she had absolutely gorgeous feet as well. Crazy high arches, cute little toes... But not only was she not ticklish, she also thought feet in general were gross. So she didn't like them being touched either.

Ended up taking her home one night, discovered the aforementioned details, (we did have sex anyway) but alas I never called her afterwards. I know, I'm a terrible human being. And she was kinda salty about that, obviously. But she's happily married now, so good for her.

Another girl I met, again very pretty, in excellent shape (she was a fitness instructor, I won't be specific but man, what a body!) Very nice girl, successful, intelligent, lots of guys I knew were quite envious that she was into me.

She took me back to her place one night, making out ensued, turned into a playful wrestling match... And I got her in a vulnerable position which wasn't easy, she was very strong. Started tickling her and she freaked out, not in a good way. She told me she couldn't handle being tickled because when she was a kid, her older sisters used to gang up on her, pin her down and tickle the ever loving shit out of her. Again, I felt bad for her but yeah. Deal-breaker!

I know who I am, what I want and need in a relationship and for better or worse tickling is a part of it. Maybe I'd settle if I had to, but I don't, so why would I?

 

[Sensualswitch10]

Dearest Leo,

I'm gonna have to say that you and Wolf are both correct. As paradoxical as that is.

If you got her to respond to tickling stimulus, then by definition she is ticklish. And absolutely, I commend you for accomplishing that! However, the level of control she apparently has over her ticklishness, ie being able to "turn it off" is almost as bad as not being ticklish at all.

 

[magic fingers]

Not being ticklish is not a deal breaker for me, because I'm also a lee. But if she's not ticklish and shows no interest in tickling me back, that sucks. For the longest time, I could never tell a woman, that being tickled turned me on(I still have trouble saying that to vanilla women), because I was afraid of sounding weird. I would just hope they'd pick up that I'm into tickling without my asking for it.

I had a beautiful GF in college who was as ticklish as a stone, but took great delight in tickling the crap out of me, and that was a helluva lot of fun.
I'd rather be with a girl who's not ticklish, than one who is, but hates it. IMHO, that's the worst, and I usually don't even bother with those women.

 

[robmic]

I went out with a girl for about a year that was kinda in between. She was ticklish as hell if you caught her off guard, but take the time to tie her up so you could really have some fun... fagettaboutit! I didn't know as much as I do now back then. If I could go back in time with that knowledge, I think I could have gotten somewhere with her. I remember one time, I had her in the 'legs around hers, one arm under me and one hand holding her other arm up' position and tickled her armpit. I thought she was going to whip her head off! She laughed so hard and was beating her heels on the floor rapidly. The problem was, under the carpet was a concrete slab! She bruised them pretty bad. If only we had been playing on the bed instead!

 

[porcelaindoll2]

It has been a deal beaker in the past if someone would not tickle me. I once went out on a date with this Dom I had been chatting with off of FetLife. He had seen my profile, so he had to have known what I was into. When we finally met I was wearing a dress with a pair of pantyhose and while we were sitting on his couch I decided to put my legs and feet on his lap. He did hardly anything and when he did start to caress my legs he stopped when he noticed I was acting ticklish. He told me later that he didn't really care for or understand tickling as a fetish. He didn't act like he'd even do it to make me happy, so we only ever had the one date. Most guys I had dated off of fetish sites(I've never dated what we like to call vanillas.) prior to him and after him would at least tickle me to make me happy and I turned a few men on to the fetish.

 

[kingofkaboom]

It pains me to say it, but I think that for the most part it is a deal breaker. It seems silly that something as small as not being ticklish can pose a threat to a relationship but it does. Though there very well could be some instances in which I'd be ok with it.

 

[The Internet]

I know who I am, what I want and need in a relationship and for better or worse tickling is a part of it. Maybe I'd settle if I had to, but I don't, so why would I?

Well-said, sir, well-said.

And as to my above discussion with the boys, ok, sorry, my mistake, yes, technically she was not 100% unticklish....I'd say 98%. Since I obviously had great success for those 5 minutes. I had more than ample opportunity to try out a variety of spots, techiniques and situations, moreso than I have had with most people.

Even the neck thing, that was something she said, but I never saw it, or experienced it, and believe me, I tried, breath spilling, quivering lips, even talking on her neck.....she was over it....if you have to work that hard, forget it......and under her arms, and her stomach, and her soles......and her thighs...nothing. I once saw a guy come up and spider tickle her sole, a beautiful flurry right in the middle of her sole, she had it stretched out on a coffee table, she just looked at him, didn't flinch, wasn't even a flicker in her eyes, she just went back to talking.

I want a ticklish girl that can't control it, if she can "turn it on and off"...then I don't quite believe it. I can take the "sometimes I'm ticklish there sometimes I'm not", the wandering spot, the mood, the situation, the moment......but not the "I can turn it on and off". Well, honey, then turn it on and leave it on!!!

 

[The Internet]

It pains me to say it, but I think that for the most part it is a deal breaker. It seems silly that something as small as not being ticklish can pose a threat to a relationship but it does. Though there very well could be some instances in which I'd be ok with it.

You know, it pained me to say it too....but not now! We're right! You want what you want! And tickling can last a lifetime! This is our sex life, bizarre or not (and let's face it, we're not so bizarre! I mean....most people have fixations on the place where we secrete organic waste, basically a garbage can, what the hell is that all about?! They even sing songs about it!).

Do we want to be in a relationship, missing this one thing? I know for me, when I have sex, it pops in my mind, just looking at her, "she's ticklish.....she's ticklish.....", I don't have to be tickling her, but I love to just know it, just the idea of it drives me crazy.......if I take that away, I just don't get turned on by anything else as much as that.....no body part.....if her foot isn't ticklish, we all of a sudden discover definitively that I"m NOT a foot-fetishist.

I've never fallen in love with someone and then found out they weren't ticklish, so if it was that situation, then I'd be putting it to the test. We complete each other's sentences, we sing harmony in the car, we have the same sense of humor, she's the coolest.....but she's not ticklish......would I walk away then?

Sounds like she could be a great friend!!!

 

[The Internet]

I went out with a girl for about a year that was kinda in between. She was ticklish as hell if you caught her off guard, but take the time to tie her up so you could really have some fun... fagettaboutit! I didn't know as much as I do now back then. If I could go back in time with that knowledge, I think I could have gotten somewhere with her. I remember one time, I had her in the 'legs around hers, one arm under me and one hand holding her other arm up' position and tickled her armpit. I thought she was going to whip her head off! She laughed so hard and was beating her heels on the floor rapidly. The problem was, under the carpet was a concrete slab! She bruised them pretty bad. If only we had been playing on the bed instead!

Awww! She got hurt! You got her good though, man, congrats, getting her under her arm, and for more than a quick second! Sorry she hurt her heels, though...hate when a girl gets hurt during a tickling! That's not the desired effect!

 

[The Internet]

It has been a deal beaker in the past if someone would not tickle me. I once went out on a date with this Dom I had been chatting with off of FetLife. He had seen my profile, so he had to have known what I was into. When we finally met I was wearing a dress with a pair of pantyhose and while we were sitting on his couch I decided to put my legs and feet on his lap. He did hardly anything and when he did start to caress my legs he stopped when he noticed I was acting ticklish. He told me later that he didn't really care for or understand tickling as a fetish. He didn't act like he'd even do it to make me happy, so we only ever had the one date. Most guys I had dated off of fetish sites(I've never dated what we like to call vanillas.) prior to him and after him would at least tickle me to make me happy and I turned a few men on to the fetish.

You've never dated vanillas, wow! Interesting! Not even, like, high school or right after?

That's so lame that he just couldn't go with it......I mean, what the heck is wrong with him? It's such a little thing, a sensual thing, and it makes you happy, why wouldn't he do that? I mean, you could have asked him to so much worse! I had a girl ask me to slap her once. That's not my thing, that's a major thing to suddenly ask, in the middle of sex? Slap me? You ever see Blue Velvet? It was exactly like that. I couldn't do it, I felt conflicted and apologized, I didn't want to make her feel bad about it, but I couldn't do it.

But tickling you? I'm so sorry. What a dunce.

And you had it in your profile!

Well, sorry, doll, that you had to endure that, what a bummer......it's him, not you........ I mean, not only is it the right thing to tickle you when it makes you happy....but you so obviously deserve it as well! 😉 Come on, you know it's true.....🙂

 

[porcelaindoll2]

You've never dated vanillas, wow! Interesting! Not even, like, high school or right after?

That's so lame that he just couldn't go with it......I mean, what the heck is wrong with him? It's such a little thing, a sensual thing, and it makes you happy, why wouldn't he do that? I mean, you could have asked him to so much worse! I had a girl ask me to slap her once. That's not my thing, that's a major thing to suddenly ask, in the middle of sex? Slap me? You ever see Blue Velvet? It was exactly like that. I couldn't do it, I felt conflicted and apologized, I didn't want to make her feel bad about it, but I couldn't do it.

But tickling you? I'm so sorry. What a dunce.

And you had it in your profile!

Well, sorry, doll, that you had to endure that, what a bummer......it's him, not you........ I mean, not only is it the right thing to tickle you when it makes you happy....but you so obviously deserve it as well! 😉 Come on, you know it's true.....🙂

When I was in high school and most of college I was a mixture of asexual and I was lusting over a homosexual man who had been my best friend for about seven years. I was foolish in thinking he would see how much I cared for him and he would try out women. When our toxic friendship finally ended I had also gotten into the lifestyle and decided I'd only date kinky people(This mainly was due to seeing so many threads on here with people freaking out over how to tell their vanilla significant others they are into tickling or other fetishes.). Yeah I agree with you tickling is so simple, sensual, and easy compared to something like spanking or slapping that actually causes pain to the bottom. I can understand not feeling comfortable hurting someone, but I basically call tickling groping with laughter. Oh I very much feel I'm always deserving of a tickle.

 

[bethaknee]

I'm a lee, so I don't care if the other person is ticklish or not. However, when I date I tend to date within the BDSM world and most of the Doms I've played with or dated had no problems tickling me, even if it wasn't their fetish. In fact, I'd venture to say a few of them even got a lot of enjoyment out of it, to the point where I wondered if one of them was a secret tickle fetishist and just didn't say anything about it. I'm poly though, so if one guy I was dating wasn't really into it there would be no problems with me finding someone else to play with.

 

[Mitchell]

If the person had all the other qualities, personality wise, then no., her not being ticklish wouldnt be a deal breaker.

Not to take this off topic, sorry if it is..

For me.. more of a deal breaker would be someone who said to me

"You can never touch or play with my feet ever".

"Feet" is just a body part.. like any sexual part of the body or organ.

My response to that would be "Why can I play with more intimate parts of you, and not your feet,", especially in the case if the person wasnt ticklish.

 

[robmic]

Awww! She got hurt! You got her good though, man, congrats, getting her under her arm, and for more than a quick second! Sorry she hurt her heels, though...hate when a girl gets hurt during a tickling! That's not the desired effect!

Like you, I don't like hurting anyone during tickling. But, on the other hand, I want someone to be as ticklish as possible when being tickled. I think if I were as informed as I am now back then, I could've changed things with her ticklishness and her ability to control it. Looking back, I think if I were more persistent with her, I could've broken down her resistance and got her to lose it. Ahh, woulda, coulda, shoulda!

 

[ticklerpilot]

It really depends how important it is to u, if there is no sexual chemistry the it will hurt the relationship. No sex is not the most important thing but it's not a zero either. So it's on each person to determine if they could get by and be satisfied and happy with no tickling

 

[kingofkaboom]

You know, it pained me to say it too....but not now! We're right! You want what you want! And tickling can last a lifetime! This is our sex life, bizarre or not (and let's face it, we're not so bizarre! I mean....most people have fixations on the place where we secrete organic waste, basically a garbage can, what the hell is that all about?! They even sing songs about it!).

Do we want to be in a relationship, missing this one thing? I know for me, when I have sex, it pops in my mind, just looking at her, "she's ticklish.....she's ticklish.....", I don't have to be tickling her, but I love to just know it, just the idea of it drives me crazy.......if I take that away, I just don't get turned on by anything else as much as that.....no body part.....if her foot isn't ticklish, we all of a sudden discover definitively that I"m NOT a foot-fetishist.

I've never fallen in love with someone and then found out they weren't ticklish, so if it was that situation, then I'd be putting it to the test. We complete each other's sentences, we sing harmony in the car, we have the same sense of humor, she's the coolest.....but she's not ticklish......would I walk away then?

Sounds like she could be a great friend!!!

See, in that particular circumstance when you ask "would I walk away then?" I'd be inclined to stay. If we're clicking that well it's hard. But I'd PROBABLY prefer to have that connection no matter how ticklish or not ticklish she is. I'm not really certain about it but that type of chemistry with someone has more value. "Life is balance. There is no such thing as having it all. The things that you receive are only the payoff for the things that you give up." In other words, sometimes you have to sacrifice. However, I'm one of the many people here who has a foot fetish as well as a tickle fetish and to give up both of those things would just be unhealthy. So if BOTH of those are out of the equation, which to me is kinda unreasonable, then I hate to admit it but it won't work. Especially if I'm satisfying your needs.

 

[The Internet]

When I was in high school and most of college I was a mixture of asexual and I was lusting over a homosexual man who had been my best friend for about seven years. I was foolish in thinking he would see how much I cared for him and he would try out women. When our toxic friendship finally ended I had also gotten into the lifestyle and decided I'd only date kinky people(This mainly was due to seeing so many threads on here with people freaking out over how to tell their vanilla significant others they are into tickling or other fetishes.). Yeah I agree with you tickling is so simple, sensual, and easy compared to something like spanking or slapping that actually causes pain to the bottom. I can understand not feeling comfortable hurting someone, but I basically call tickling groping with laughter. Oh I very much feel I'm always deserving of a tickle.

Gotcha, very interesting, one-of-a-kind story!

And the TMF helped you! Well all right!!!!

Groping with laughter.....caressing out a giggle fit....stirring up the nerves with my fingers......ah, it's the greatest.....it looks hot, it sounds hot, and it feels hot. Is hot. 😉

 

[The_Darkweb]

A person can't help it if they aren't ticklish, it's genetic. A sexual deal breaker for me in if she doesn't like performing oral. I like performing oral, and I won't stay with somebody who won't return the favor. It's not worth it. I won't push her into it, I just won't stay with her.

 

[Wade]

My wife and I are fundamentally and reciprocally compatible on multiple levels, including sexual behavior that doesn't always involve tickling. So if someday she grew into a place where she was no longer interested in tickling me, I'd consider it a disappointment but it wouldn't be a deal breaker. (And of course at that point I could discuss it with her -- but my quirk is one where what I dig about her tickling me is the fact that she does it without my inviting her to do it, indeed does it because she enjoys the fact that I can'r stand it, so having that conversation would itself, for me, also be a disappointment...)

 

[piyr]

If I was to do it all over again, then yeah, it would be. But I wouldn't give up the great family that I have now for a do-over.

 

[pshort20]

Sadly yeah, it's definitely a deal-breaker for me.