"Are you out of your Vulcan mind?!" LOL! 😀
steph said:
Clearly I've offended you. Or, I've hit a nerve. Lots of emotions fall into my "wasted" category. Like guilt. It serves no purpose but to make you feel like crap. Stop doing what makes you feel guilty and the guilt goes away, see?
Maybe YOUR emotions define who you are. I define who I am. My emotions don't rule me, I rule them. Whatever the gene is that causes the "reaction" as you call it, I wasn't born with it. Jealousy of the heart? I don't feel that either, even "from time to time." Ever. Do you trust your girlfriend? If yes, then what's the problem? Look, you sound like you're young. People are going to be disrespectful assholes. Learn to deal with it, you can't change them. LEARN the only thing you have power over is your reaction to it.
'Can't speak for Tidas, so I'm not. Just suggesting that there's an alternative reaction aside from him being offended, or you having touched a nerve with him. His reaction may not be emotional at all, but utter disbelief. I mean, it's not every day you get to meet a Vulcan.
😉
Hey, different people are wired differently, and within that wiring there are different aptitudes for exerting control over oneself and one's destiny (according to my assessment of things). Steph, you sound like you lucked out genetically, being able to go through life without envy. Excellent!
Only problem is, in the bulk of people, the rational side often has a struggle with the emotional side, believe it or not. They can't "decide" they're not jealous, any more than they can "decide" to be happy, sad, angry, bitter or in or out of love. They can take measures to attenuate such feelings, often to the degree that they have little to no outward manifestation, but that doesn't mean the feelings aren't real or aren't there. One can say to themselves, "well this is a pointless emotion" and take a course of action to distract or guide oneself away from it -- indeed one that may work -- but it doesn't mean the feeling never existed.
So anyway...
Steph, you seem like a lovely, intelligent, mature woman, and one it would probably do me good getting to know. At the same time, if you didn't evoke an emotional response before, surely this time the post looks designed to get one... When you assume someone is acting out of emotion, and then proceed to invalidate those emotions by calling them "wasted" or "pointless" (plus, presuming to hold yourself above them in the following paragraph by explaining how very above emotion you are), well, I don't know, but it seems like you just might be looking for a reaction. ...not that a heated outburst by Tidas at this point wouldn't help pull supporters from his side, were this an actual debate or one worth merit -- it's a good strategy -- still, you seem to be baiting him a bit. On the plus side, however, you wrote this:
steph said:
People are going to be disrespectful assholes. Learn to deal with it, you can't change them. LEARN the only thing you have power over is your reaction to it.
Overlooking the matronly lecturer tone, it's true enough. And learning and understanding are the keys to solving most issues.
Tidas. You started the lecturer tone, here. You don't have the right to tell anyone what they should or shouldn't believe. Mind you, I'm pretty sure you know that, and I don't think that you were trying to do that necessarily, as much as impress upon Steph the fact that regardless of whether or not she has jealousy herself, someone else's jealousy will impact her sooner or later, plus you were trying to set apart your own feeling of jealousy from materialistic jealousy. Fair enough. Do you and Elfriend live some distance apart and therefore have to spend lengthy times away from each other (when school's not in session, I'm guessing)? If so, then I'd agree that what you describe may constitute a sort of jealousy, if guys nearby or with more resources or other opportunities you don't have are hitting on her. It's not just the simple disrespect of others for your relationship that irks you, but in caring about the girl, you envy those who have opportunities to see her when you can't (--who are in closer physical proximity even in the off-time, probably), and sometimes that's not easily soluable with a "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps" approach. Things may be a shade more complicated, especially with money and college issues... Perfectly understandable. And I suspect also it's not a matter of if you "trust your girlfriend" -- I suspect you do -- but it's a matter of if you trust the guys hitting on her, and most people in your shoes would not, and for good reason.
But just back to the point -- I don't think you were meaning to tell others what they should or shouldn't believe, but the wording is oh so important here on the 'net, where words are all we have to go by, and some people can take offense to that sort of approach, especially when "You should" are the first words you put down. So, kindly consider that the next time you post.
In all sincerity to both you, Steph, and you, Tidas, I think you're pretty cool people from what I've seen of your postings, I hope I'm cool with both of you, and don't think there's really any need for even testiness here between the two of you. And I think your points are made.
If you want to be testy, though, that's cool. Just get get along with each other and you can direct your ire towards me. I just call 'em like I seem 'em, and I deal with the anger of others regularly.
🙂
Well, now that in my sleep deprivation, I've rambled on and stuck my head in where it doesn't belong, I'm just gonna' jump back here in this ol' pot of water and turn the heat up to "BOIL"...
😀
All the best, y'all.
) without being too out of my mind to truly appreciate it for once 
It's one of those what I call "wasted" emotions. It serves no purpose. Why waste your time wanting what someone else has? You're never going to be them, no matter how hard you try, so get off your butt and go get for yourself in YOUR OWN SHOES.
. That being the case, I have noticed that relationships are lasting, long term and happiest when those involved measure love and devotion by little things like how their partners care for them in sickness and work toward a secure future for them and plan a long life with them, rather than whether they might want to tickle someone else sometime. But to each their own. 
(bring back bunny, BTW, I LOVED that...) 
