JK Rowling on Being 'Fat'

[Mimi]

For those of you who don't know, JK Rowling is the author of the Harry Potter novels. This is an article she posted on her official website, and I thought it was too good not to share with a few special folks here on the TMF. And it's also in line with a few other discussion threads we currently have going, so this is a great time to post it!


"Being thin. Probably not a subject that you ever expected to read about on this website, but my recent trip to London got me
thinking...

It started in the car on the way to Leavesden film studios. I whiled away part of the journey reading a magazine that featured several glossy photographs of a very young woman who is either seriously ill or suffering from an eating disorder (which is, of course, the same thing); anyway, there is no other explanation for the shape of her body.

She can talk about eating absolutely loads, being terribly busy and having the world's fastest metabolism until her tongue drops off (hooray! Another couple of ounces gone!), but her concave stomach, protruding ribs and stick-like arms tell a different story. This girl needs help, but, the world being what it is, they're sticking her on magazine covers instead. All this passed through my mind as I read the interview, then I threw the horrible thing aside.

But blow me down if the subject of girls and thinness didn't crop up shortly after I got out of the car. I was talking to one of the
actors [from Harry Potter film] and, somehow or other, we got onto the subject of a girl he knows (not any of the Potter actresses) who had been dubbed 'fat' by certain charming classmates.

'But,' said the actor, in honest perplexity, 'she is really not fat.'

'"Fat" is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl
when she wants to hurt her,' I said; I could remember it happening when I was at school, and witnessing it among the teenagers I used to teach. Nevertheless, I could see that to him, a well-adjusted male, it was utterly bizarre behavior, like helling 'thicko!' at Stephen Hawking.

His bemusement at this everyday feature of female existence reminded me how strange and sick the 'fat' insult is. I mean, is 'fat' really the worst thing a human being can be? Is 'fat' worse
than 'vindictive', 'jealous', 'shallow', 'vain', 'boring' or 'cruel'? Not to me; but then, you might retort, what do I know about the pressure to be skinny? I'm not in the business of being
judged on my looks, what with being a writer and earning my living by using my brain...

I went to the British Book Awards that evening. After the award
ceremony I bumped into a woman I hadn't seen for nearly 3 years. The first thing she said to me? 'You've lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw you!'

'Well,' I said, slightly nonplussed, 'the last time you saw me I 'd
just had a baby.' What I felt like saying was, 'I've produced my
third child and my sixth novel since I last saw you. Aren't either
of those things more important, more interesting, than my size?' But no - my waist looked smaller! Forget the kid and the book: finally, something to celebrate!

So the issue of size and women was (ha ha) weighing on my mind as I flew home to Edinburgh the next day. Once up in the air, I opened a newspaper and my eyes fell, immediately, on an article about the pop star Pink.

Her latest single, 'Stupid Girls', is the antidote-anthem for
everything I had been thinking about women and thinness. 'Stupid Girls' satirises the talking toothpicks held up to girls as role models: those celebrities whose greatest achievement is un-chipped nail polish, whose only aspiration seems to be getting photographed in a different outfit nine times a day, whose only function in the world appears to be supporting the trade in overpriced handbags and rat-sized dogs.

Maybe all this seems funny, or trivial, but it's really not. It's
about what girls want to be, what they're told they should be, and
how they feel about who they are. I've got 2 daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me because I don't want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I'd rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny - a thousand things, before 'thin'.

And frankly, I'd rather they didn't give a gust of stinking
chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons [Harry Potter referrence]. Let them be Stupid Girls. Rant over."

 

[alchemy]

Fuckin A

 

[storyteller]

Another example of why I'm a JK Rowling fan!

Thanks, Mimi, for sharing this. Much like she does in her "Harry Potter" books--which I HIGHLY RECOMMEND to everyone--Ms. Rowling has looked at an issue and nailed it. In this case, she's identified nonsense for what it is.

 

[Saeria]

That's a nice article, encouraging too.

 

[BellaRisa]

If I didn't already count her as one of my heroes, this righteous article would've done it. Thank you for this Mimi!

Bella

 

[lk70]

Right on the money and entertaining too. This world is lucky to have that woman.

 

[bratgirl365]

Thank You Mimi, great article and a great woman!

 

[venray]

Never cared much for harry Potter, but this woman is truly amazing to have the outlook she does after what she has endured in life.....

Gotta respect that....

Hats off Ms. Rowling......

 

[isabeau]

nice article..i will say that it did also hurt back when i was younger to be called skinny..thin wasn't in then..so i suppose it can work both ways..

 

[phfttklr]

?????


As much as I agree with her about people shouldn't worry about things that they are not, I don't like the way she and others knock on the women who are thin. How is it any different if you insult a woman who is heavier or a woman who is thin? Insults are insults and she sounded a bit hypocritical.

""I don't want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I'd rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny - a thousand things, before 'thin".

Why does being thin have to be associated with those qualities? I know one line sounded like it was directed at Paris Hilton ( whom I cannot tolerate ) and agree with the attitudes that some of these women have, but that does not mean that all thin women are like that. Those women are ugly ( inside ) whether they are thin or not. What's next, slamming blondes??? OK, we do send the "dumb blonde" jokes in but the "stupid male" jokes flow too.

I've heard it a hundred times on here whenever a weight issue comes up about how could someone want to tickle a bag of bones or any other insult yet it's wrong to be insulted. I don't get it, wrong is wrong. Be happy with the way you are and find someone who likes you for you or change it. Above all, be healthy and safe...to hell with anything else.


.

 

[BrightEyes1082]

I agree, phft. My sister-in-law (to be) used to be super-skinny. She looked anorexic, but she wasn't. She's put on some weight in the last year or two, and looks fantastic, but she's just chalking it up to getting older (25!!) and her metabolism slowing down. She gets it from her dad, who is also really thin. Some people are naturally very thin. While we shouldn't encourage children to conform to any kind of image, we should encourage them to be healthy. And we should not shut out skinny people anymore than we should shut out anybody else.

 

[BellaRisa]

Agreement and minor rant

?????


As much as I agree with her about people shouldn't worry about things that they are not, I don't like the way she and others knock on the women who are thin. How is it any different if you insult a woman who is heavier or a woman who is thin? Insults are insults and she sounded a bit hypocritical.

""I don't want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I'd rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny - a thousand things, before 'thin".

Why does being thin have to be associated with those qualities? I know one line sounded like it was directed at Paris Hilton ( whom I cannot tolerate ) and agree with the attitudes that some of these women have, but that does not mean that all thin women are like that. Those women are ugly ( inside ) whether they are thin or not. What's next, slamming blondes??? OK, we do send the "dumb blonde" jokes in but the "stupid male" jokes flow too.

I've heard it a hundred times on here whenever a weight issue comes up about how could someone want to tickle a bag of bones or any other insult yet it's wrong to be insulted. I don't get it, wrong is wrong. Be happy with the way you are and find someone who likes you for you or change it. Above all, be healthy and safe...to hell with anything else.

I'm glad someone brought this up, because I tend to agree. I was raised in a family of very curvy (not necessarily overweight, but VERY hourglassed) women, and the skinny jokes flowed all the time. Seriously, I know dozens. Not being biased against the very thin is something I actually remind myself about, because I'm not at all proud of such discriminating thoughts; I don't want to be that jaded person.

Now having said that, I do understand what Ms. Rowling is talking about. From reading the article, I don't believe she's referring to naturally thin women. No, this is about the emaciated little airheads that I see all over tv, at the mall, and walking to school in the mornings in my neighborhood. Horribly superficial young women (even for teens) who make themselves vomit ( !) to be incredibly thin and compete with their friends to be the thinnest. Not the most fit mind you, just the skinniest, so that they can wear the Mommy's Little Prostitute outfits being hawked everywhere these days. My best friend's 14 yr old isn't one of these but she knows lots of them, and the stories she tells about how awful these girls are to each other and what their priorities are send a chill up my back; it's that bad. And as a mom of two girls I relate to the author's desire that her daughters be nothing like that; we do indeed want 'thin' to be low on our children's list of wants in favor of more useful pursuits.

Furthermore, While I truly dislike the bias we often get against thinner women I understand it. Frankly (and I am SO not proud of this) it's almost refreshing, after being bombarded with 'thin is in' everywhere you go. Most women are naturally curvy in various lovely places, but in the last few decades the pressure to greatly reduce or surgically alter our curves has been overwhelming. Trust me, as much as I respect those who've been given grief for being too thin, these days it's *way* easier to be thinner than normal than heavier. If you don't believe me, go shopping with a woman 30 lbs less than average and a woman 30 lbs heavier and see who finds the nicest items and how easily. Being built more like a 13 yr old boy than an average woman is glorified these days, sadly. And if you're someone who embraces your curves or admires those of others , there's bound to be a bit of backlash.

Bella

 

[4Pawz]

I'm with Antyho (phfttklr) on this one. Everyone has a shape, and it's not okay to judge anyone because of it, whether they be curvacious (I can't spell today) or smaller in their build. Every person is different and should be appreciated for such.

I especially did not like this:
I whiled away part of the journey reading a magazine that featured several glossy photographs of a very young woman who is either seriously ill or suffering from an eating disorder (which is, of course, the same thing); anyway, there is no other explanation for the shape of her body. and She can talk about eating absolutely loads, being terribly busy and having the world's fastest metabolism until her tongue drops off (hooray! Another couple of ounces gone!), but her concave stomach, protruding ribs and stick-like arms tell a different story.

Sorry, not okay to categorize someone like that. Now, yes, it's possible this woman may have an eating disorder, etc, but it isn't fair to assume that either just because she is thin. My brother is thin, I mean thin thin, ie he is 6'3" and 140 lbs. No, he does not have an eating disorder. This is the way he is. He eats plenty, he doesn't exercise to stay thin, and he certainly does not enjoy how thin he is. He's been to doctors and they have all told him, sorry, that is just your body type. He physically cannot put on weight and has tried since he was 13 to get bigger, and just can't. Another one of my friends is just as thin as he is, and she has the same issue. She would love to have curves and some "meat on her bones" but she is unable to gain weight. Both of them have tiny little arms, and their ribs do protrude due to their lack of bodyfat and muscle, but this isn't something either one of them can control, because I have had to sit and watch them try and try again, and fail. Just an example, my wrist bones are as big as my brother's. He is 6'3" and I am 5'4", he has tiny bones compared to mine. Both of them are highly intelligent, good people.

The same is true of some people that are considered medically overweight and want to be smaller. They can't, no matter how hard they try to achieve a smaller size than what they are. Their body decides how big they are, and they don't get much of a say. Just as genetics play a part in some people being more curvy, they also play a part in some people being more thin than others. Again, this doesn't

There are actual diseases that prevent some people from gaining weight, and that prevent some from losing weight. One that I have seen quite a bit is called Prader-Willi Syndrome. It is so heartbreaking to see someone with this, and I know a few people with it. They have absolutely no control over their hunger, this form of the disorder is called Hypothalamic dysfunction, left untreated, some can eat themselves to death.

Some is caused by medication. Numerous medications can cause weight loss or weight gain. One of my own medications has a side effect of weightloss. I no longer have any kind of a hunger drive, and have to schedule when I eat, whether I am hungry or not. You have to weigh the positives and negatives. I tried to go off of the medication for about 4 years, and I just could not function, and the anger, frustration, and emotional distress of the disorder is too much to deal with to be able to have a normal metabolism.

Anyway, my point being, while all of us should celebrate our bodies (and yes I mean everyone), and be proud of who we are, what we look like, and how we feel, it isn't fair to insult or belittle anyone in the process. Size has nothing to do with someone's intelligence, their personality, their abilities, or in my opinion, how attractive they are.

While I hate it when people make fun of my size (weight and/or height), shape, hair color, ethnicity, or disorders, it bothers me even more if someone calls me stupid, let alone self-obsessed, or assumes that I am because of any of those noted. I have been made fun of just as much as anyone else, my being overweight, my being underweight, my disabilities, my hair style, my acne scars, my face (I have chipmunk cheeks), and my build (being overly muscular). You know what, while it hurts to hear, those people don't matter. People like that don't deserve the time or attention given to them when they say or do things such as this. Nothing will make me lose respect for a person quicker then when they categorize people. No two people are the same, everyone is different and no one should be lumped together with someone else, or assume anything about any person because someone else was that way, because each person is special in his or her own way. If they can't see that, it's their loss, not yours.

While I understand Rowling's concerns about her kids having eating disorders, teaching her kids acceptance and self respect would be more admirable than teaching them to assume thin people lack intelligence. Sorry, Rowling just lost my respect.

 

[tickledgirl]

Never cared much for harry Potter, but this woman is truly amazing to have the outlook she does after what she has endured in life.....

Gotta respect that....

Hats off Ms. Rowling......

What has she endured? Anything other than what she ranted about? (Not disagreeing with you, I just really don't know.)

 

[TicklishLurker]

What has she endured? Anything other than what she ranted about? (Not disagreeing with you, I just really don't know.)

Before she wrote Harry Potter she was absolutely dirt poor. On welfare and all that.

 

[Mephistopheles]

Interesting bit. I don't understand women, nor do I understand why most of em are obsessed about their weight. IMO screw fashion, screw the whole word (as if I'd give a fuck about what other people think how I lead my life) when it comes to weight, just remember that being too fat or too thin is everything but healthy. And that's way more important than a couple of pounds of flesh.

 

[MrMacphisto]

*shrugs* You know, Rowling is rather thin herself....

 

[TicklishLurker]

Interesting bit. I don't understand women, nor do I understand why most of em are obsessed about their weight.

Try going from 18 to 30 without a date. Heck, without friends. All because you're "too fat to be seen with in public" and see how "obsessed" you are with your weight.

Like it or not, when you're female, your physical appearence is more important to people then who you are.

 

[Louis]

Be what you like BUT.....

If folks are happy with their body style and comfortable in their own skin, that's probably all that matters. It looks like Rowling is taking pot shots at the obsession of thinness rather than thin people to me. What I think is worth noting is that people will always be judged by others based on things we wish they wouldn't. That will not change no matter how much we wish it would.
I have an 18 year old daughter who is strikingly beautiful (I don't say that cause she's my kid, she just is). She's not obsessed with weight or anything but things have been easier for her partly because of her looks. She's gotten the jobs she's wanted (in a flooded teenage work force) and her social circle is mostly "beautiful people". If there are any self esteem issues in her group, I haven't seen it.
There are so many more important things than looks or weight but don't be fooled that life isn't easier for people that look a certain way (I was never one of those ...lol). That's shame but that's our world.

 

[Mephistopheles]

Try going from 18 to 30 without a date. Heck, without friends. All because you're "too fat to be seen with in public" and see how "obsessed" you are with your weight.

Like it or not, when you're female, your physical appearence is more important to people then who you are.

Well, I always say "Hey, you look fine without your make up" to whoever wakes up next to me in bed, but still they need to apply at least 5 pounds of pouders, liquids and other crap.

I don't get it.

 

[TicklishLurker]

Well, I always say "Hey, you look fine without your make up" to whoever wakes up next to me in bed, but still they need to apply at least 5 pounds of pouders, liquids and other crap.

I don't get it.

That's because you're a man and men just aren't judged as harshly on their looks as women. For instance there's a lot more famous fat men in the entertainment industry then fat women. And when's the last time you saw a fat woman's bare butt on tv? Heck, a gal was voted off of American Idol because of her weight - and Simon Cowell told her she would be. (Ug, knowing that sickens me. Mom watches that POS show and reports it to me.) While a fat guy won it.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

We have a customer at the job...a substantially overweight twenty five year old woman. She's very nice, and to old Knockablock, quite attractive. Her job involves dealing with the public...she's a real estate agent. A very successful one, for an agent of her age and experience. Here she is, big fat girl, moving homes for a firm that specializes in very high end properties, to people with more money than most of you will ever see in your lifetimes, or can conceive of. No one seems to have any problem working with this woman. She's also had no shortage of suitors of the opposite sex, either. She drives a nice car. She's doing rather well.

My wife gets along with everyone...she has no shortage of friends, and she's quite popular...

I would wager that the problem, dear Jami, lies not in the bulge but in yourself. Take heart, though. It's never too late.

 

[Mephistopheles]

Indeed Knox, it's mostly in your head. A fat will think "well, the fact I don't see my toes indicates that I enjoy good food, thus it gives me status" (or with students that you're a heavyweight drinker)

But a woman will feel unhappy because of her weight and that makes her insecure, which affects the way she interacts with other people.

 

[TicklishLurker]

I've said it before, I'll say it again - that's BULLS**T.

How you think about yourself has zero affect on how others see you.

I've learned that over and over again that it doesn't matter how you are on the inside. People won't even talk to you if you don't appeal on the outside.

 

[Helena]

I've said it before, I'll say it again - that's BULLS**T.

How you think about yourself has zero affect on how others see you.

I've learned that over and over again that it doesn't matter how you are on the inside. People won't even talk to you if you don't appeal on the outside.

I think that it matters a great deal who you are on the inside. How I treat other people almost always effects how they treat me.
I think if you spend your time feeling completely miserable, that's your choice.
Sometimes, if you wait for someone else to show interest in you first, although you are interested in meeting them, you may have a long wait. Why not at least smile and say hello. That's how friendships slowly form over time. I wish you the best!