Re: PURSHASING A TURKEY!!!
ForgottenTcklr said:
This one's short and kinda dumb... but we are getting close to Thanksgiving!
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Here's one for ya...
SEVEN REASONS TO CRAWL UNDER A ROCK.....
1. CURL AND DIE........I walked into a hair salon with
my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
2. PAD PLEASE.......... An insurance man visited me at
home to talk about our mortgage insurance. He was
throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I
wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my
6-year-old son to run and get me a pad. He came back
and handed me a Kotex right in front of our guest.
3. HO, HO, HO............. I was taking a shower when
my 2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped
himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he
looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few
shots. They came out so well that I had copies made
and included one with each of our Christmas cards.
Days later, a relative called about the picture,
laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer
look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked
to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured
my reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a
camera!
4. LADY GOLFER................ I was at the golf store
comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy
with the women's type I had been using. After browsing
for several minutes, I was approached by one of the
good looking gentlemen who works at the store. He
asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked
at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's
balls."
5. NUTS ABOUT YOU............My sister and I were at
the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of
nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I
replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My
sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned,
and I turned beet red and walked away. To this day, my
sister has never let me forget.
6. PRICELESS.............A lady picked up several
items
at a discount store. When she finally got up to the
counter, she learned that one of her items had no
price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker
got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store
to
hear,"PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER
SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear
of the store apparently misunderstoodthe word "Tampax"
for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice
boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND
YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN
WITH A HAMMER?"
7. MOM'S ADVICE......... A teacher noticed that a
little boy at the back of the class was squirming
around, scratching his crotch and not paying
attention. She went back to find out what was going
on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had
just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.
The teacher told him to go down to the principal's
office. He was to phone his mother
and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and
returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion
at the back of the room. She went back to investigate
only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis
hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your Mom."
she screamed. "I did," he said, "And she told me that
if I could stick it out till noon she would come and
get me."
=====
Margaret E. Bryan
Enjoying reading these jokes, a lot of them I haven't heard before. This one about the Turkey!
thumbs up TF!
Venus51099
