If these offend let me know and I will remove any that do.
3 women in the same family are prozzies. The mother charges 40quid for a blowjob, the daughter charges 80quid for a blowjob, and the grandmother is just happy to get a warm drink.
(Its old but its funny) A recent search on michael jacksons house found drugs, class A in his kitchen, class B in his bathroom and class 4C in his bedroom.
Why do doctors spank babys when their born?
To knock the dicks off the dumb ones!
What did saddam say when he came out of hidin?
Did I beat David Blaine!
On the day of his big date, this bloke decides to top up his suntan and he goes up on the roof. Not wanting tan lines to show, he sunbathes in the nude. Unfortunately he fell asleep while on the roof and sunburned his tool. He was determined not to miss his date, because it was a red-hot blonde, so he put some lotion on it and wrapped it in gauze, feeling this should resolve his painful situation. The blonde shows up for the date and he treats her to a home cooked dinner, after which they go into the living room to watch a movie. During the movie, however his sunburn starts acting up. After several minutes of extreme discomfort he asked to be excused. A friend had told him that milk was very effective in reducing sunburn pain so he goes to the kitchen and pours a tall cold glass of milk. He puts his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate relief. The blonde, however, wondering what he's up to, wanders into the kitchen to find him with his tool immersed in the glass of milk.
With a knowing look she says, "So that's how you load those things..."
A man says to his friend "I've been making a lot of Freudian slips lately".
"Oh, how do you mean?" says his friend.
"Well, the other day I got on the train and asked the conductor for 2 pickets to titsburg" Said the man.
"I did something similar just the other day" the friend said.
"How so?"
"I was at the breakfast table, and instead of asking my wife to pass the butter, I said, YOU BITCH...you ruined my life!!!"
3 women in the same family are prozzies. The mother charges 40quid for a blowjob, the daughter charges 80quid for a blowjob, and the grandmother is just happy to get a warm drink.
(Its old but its funny) A recent search on michael jacksons house found drugs, class A in his kitchen, class B in his bathroom and class 4C in his bedroom.
Why do doctors spank babys when their born?
To knock the dicks off the dumb ones!
What did saddam say when he came out of hidin?
Did I beat David Blaine!
On the day of his big date, this bloke decides to top up his suntan and he goes up on the roof. Not wanting tan lines to show, he sunbathes in the nude. Unfortunately he fell asleep while on the roof and sunburned his tool. He was determined not to miss his date, because it was a red-hot blonde, so he put some lotion on it and wrapped it in gauze, feeling this should resolve his painful situation. The blonde shows up for the date and he treats her to a home cooked dinner, after which they go into the living room to watch a movie. During the movie, however his sunburn starts acting up. After several minutes of extreme discomfort he asked to be excused. A friend had told him that milk was very effective in reducing sunburn pain so he goes to the kitchen and pours a tall cold glass of milk. He puts his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate relief. The blonde, however, wondering what he's up to, wanders into the kitchen to find him with his tool immersed in the glass of milk.
With a knowing look she says, "So that's how you load those things..."
A man says to his friend "I've been making a lot of Freudian slips lately".
"Oh, how do you mean?" says his friend.
"Well, the other day I got on the train and asked the conductor for 2 pickets to titsburg" Said the man.
"I did something similar just the other day" the friend said.
"How so?"
"I was at the breakfast table, and instead of asking my wife to pass the butter, I said, YOU BITCH...you ruined my life!!!"
