I'm very ticklish, but never been restrained, how would you describe full restraint, as in arms legs, toes, and midsection being completely immobile while being tickled? What did you mind and body do to cope?
It's difficult to convey how the experience feels to me personally, but I'll try, Even before I am bound, sometimes even days before, the knowing that it's going to happen is it's own part of the experience. I have excitement, dread, nervousness, and chills from the anticipation. There's a big difference in the experience of fantasizing that it will happen, and knowing that you have it planned for 6:00pm next Saturday. Once I am bound, but before the actual tickling starts, there's the sudden, visceral sense of total vulnerability, making me feel both excited and terrified at the same time. I always notice how immediately sensitive I become in that moment, and how aware I become of even the air in the room, at any other time going unnoticed, now feeling like it's teasing my exposed skin. With the first touch, or sometimes just the threat of the first touch, The familiar self-preserving recoil from ticklish sensation is met with cold, unyielding resistance in all directions and immediately the reality of my helplessness sets in. The tickling itself is intolerable and overstimulating, sending bolts of sharp ticklish energy throughout my whole body and lighting up my brain in unbearable ways, yet, somehow I love it. It can be a very surreal experience in that it can feel like I'm having a hyper vivid dream, and sometimes like I'm simultaneously having a very focused inward experience and a detached sense of observing what's happening to me in an almost out-of-body kind of way. I can't seem to tell if I'm in Hell with an angel, or in Heaven with a devil, but it seems to last forever, until after it ends, at which point it feels like it was only minutes. After a short time, I feel like my whole nervous system just got a factory reset and I feel extremely relaxed with tingling skin and a deep sense of satisfaction.
As far as coping goes, there is no coping with the experience for me–In the moment, the experience and I are one and the same. Thinking rationally is impossible and it's all just an emotional explosion. It's a big part of why I like being a lee as much as a ler. I'm normally in my head too much and I need to be hyper-rational most of the time. I like to plan things out as much as I can, be prepared, and have strategies for everything. Tickling spits in the face of those rules and is a great outlet for all of the emotional and mental tension that results from my normal life. In some ways, the extreme, unbearable, torturous tickling while desperately immobile
is the coping!
Again, this is just my personal experience, but I hope it helps!
