Low_Roads
4th Level Black Feather
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2004
- Messages
- 8,972
- Points
- 48
... in which our hero's harem of gal-pals gain interest (by losing their principles).
Cut to a high angle long-shot of Dildo and the girls as they travel the road to Bare-Adore. They no longer wear barrels. Instead, each of them is clothed in an ill-fitting assortment of odds-and-ends.
Loosie: This is a fashion disaster!
Dildo: When you snatch from a clothesline you take what you can get, sister!
They soon encounter fellow travelers (stoner types in carts bearing banners which read “Bare-Adore and Bust!” and “Hardon-4-Ever!”), whose ever-increasing numbers slow progress to a crawl.
Sleezie: Can this be the right road? The traffic’s hardly moving!
Dildo: We’d be able to see better from that rise. Follow me, gals!
Their hill-top vantage-point affords Dildo’s party a splendid view of the mile-long expanse of wagons creeping toward its goal: the ominous, imposing fortress of Bare-Adore. Gaudy flashing neon illuminates the cloud-blackened sky with such alluring messages as “Bury Your Cares at BARE-ADORE!”, “All Live! All Nude! All Yours!”, “Every Taste Catered To!”, “Casino/Bordello: The Loosest Sluts in Town!”, “Check All Souls at the Door”, etc.
Dildo: There it is! Your new home!
Ditzee: Look at the line! It’ll take us a week to get in!
Dildo: Don’t be silly! That’s the main gate. We get to use the service entrance.
Pan to the other end of the castle. The row of waiting delivery carts is twice as long.
Dildo: Aw hell!
Sleezie: Not surprising, the way Bare-Adore gobbles up resources! Damn! We’ll never make it at this rate! There must be some kind of short-cut.
Dildo: (sighing) I was hoping to avoid this. But I guess there’s no choice. Girls, I’m about to let you in on a huge secret. And you can’t blab it to anyone! Promise?
The girls voice their assent. Dildo plucks the magic ring from his pocket for everyone to admire.
Dissolve to a Casino utility door. An armed thug from The Trolls motorcycle gang stands guard. Cut to his stark shadow on the sculpted brickwork. Dildo’s shadow creeps up alongside, and his enormous penis snakes over to tap the thug’s far shoulder. Startled and suspicious, the biker stalks off to search in the wrong direction.
Cut to a medium-shot as the door swings open.
Dildo: (invisible) Hurry it up! He won’t be gone long!
The girls sprint through the open entryway, the last of them squealing as she’s goosed by the invisible Dildo. Pissed, she grabs the handle and slams the door shut.
Dildo: Yeoww!
Star wipe to the luxurious INTERIOR of Bare-Adore. As Dildo grumbles and rubs his groin, the party passes dozens of high-rollers and merry-makers.
Gropie: Feel the electricity? I’m just aching to get started!
Dildo: (sourly) Yeah. I’m aching pretty good myself.
Floozie: Let’s find Hardon and sign those contracts!
They soon locate the private offices of Whordor’s dark master. Attendants usher them directly before the Lord of the Wrongs, whose identity is obscured by a full suit of obscenely filigreed armor and a billowing black cloak. He lounges on a plush, pink, inflatable plastic throne, absently fondling one of his private toys, a voluptuous, feral Tiger Woman.
Dildo: (quietly, to Sleezie) Some macho big-shot! We show up just in time to catch him playing with his pussy!
Hardon: (in a deep, commanding tone) Ah! The lovely ladies I ordered from the land of the Spire! Welcome to my modest pleasure palace! I’m sure each of you will achieve the fame and fortune you deserve! (addressing Dildo) And this must be your valiant escort!
Dildo: (with false cheer) Yup! Got ‘em here safe and sound. Not a scratch on ‘em, no deep ones anyway. So, if you’ll just fork over my fee, I’ll leave you to your important affairs...
Hardon: Nonsense, my honored guest! I wouldn’t dream of releasing you so soon! Not before you’ve had an opportunity to sample the delights of this intoxicating realm! Let none impugn the hospitality of Hardon! For a few precious days, Bare-Adore is yours to diddle as you desire!
Dildo: I’ll be go to hell! You’re not nearly as bad as the rumors claim!
Hardon: (jovially) I am a most misunderstood man! (clapping for attendants) See these tired travelers to a private suite! Fulfill their every want! Soothe them! Pamper them!
Dildo and the girls gleefully exit with the attendants.
Hardon: (musing) So, Dildo Dinkwood comes into the claws of Whordor at last, bearing the very power I need to make sucking slaves of all in Diddle Earth! But how to wrest it from him... (to the Tiger Woman) I’ve got it! Use your cunning wiles to tempt those tender chicks into the Play Room. They will serve as the perfect leverage!
Star wipe to Dildo’s private suite. He and the girls have taken full advantage of Hardon’s largess, lolling about in silk pajamas and sipping tropical drinks. Floozie and Gropie receive massages, while Loosie gets a pedicure. Dildo sprawls on a heart-shaped bed, disgustedly perusing a newspaper, The Weekly World Snot-Rag. The bold headline states, “Half-pint caught in Holly Wood Love Nest with Seven Hookers!” His own harried face graces the accompanying photo.
Dildo: Call this a complimentary paper?! Damn fucking spider bastards!
Loosie: (to the pedicurist) I simply must visit a beauty salon, hon. Can you direct me?
Afrodo: I’m gonna hit the Casino, check out the action. (to Sleezie) You comin’?
Dildo: (plaintively) Hey, don’t go wandering off! Doesn’t anyone want to play?
Ditzee: You can deal me in, Dildo. (giggling conspiratorially) But how about slipping on your ring first? I wanna ride that monster ‘til dawn!
Dildo: (pulling her close) I’m gonna ball your brains out!
Ditzee: (chirpily) Too late!
Cut to a long-shot of the wandering Loosie, as she searches Bare-Adore’s boutiques for a beauty parlor. Soon, she sees a shop with an obviously bogus, crude cardboard sign stating “Booty Saloon: Die Jobs a Speshilty”.
Loosie: Finally! A place to get my hair done! Just in time to save my fading roots!
She enters.
Loosie: (voice-over, from behind the closed door) Hey! Where are the chairs? Where’s all the equipment? Who the hell are you guys? Take your hands off me, you pricks! (she utters a long, shrill scream.)
Fade out.
Next week – Scene 11: “Smog Alert!”.
Link to Scenes 1 & 2: http://www.tickletheater.com/showthread.php?t=34195
Link to Scene 11: http://www.tickletheater.com/showthread.php?t=35552
* * *
Lord of the Wrongs
Scene 10: “Hardon’s Hospitality”
Lord of the Wrongs
Scene 10: “Hardon’s Hospitality”
Cut to a high angle long-shot of Dildo and the girls as they travel the road to Bare-Adore. They no longer wear barrels. Instead, each of them is clothed in an ill-fitting assortment of odds-and-ends.
Loosie: This is a fashion disaster!
Dildo: When you snatch from a clothesline you take what you can get, sister!
They soon encounter fellow travelers (stoner types in carts bearing banners which read “Bare-Adore and Bust!” and “Hardon-4-Ever!”), whose ever-increasing numbers slow progress to a crawl.
Sleezie: Can this be the right road? The traffic’s hardly moving!
Dildo: We’d be able to see better from that rise. Follow me, gals!
Their hill-top vantage-point affords Dildo’s party a splendid view of the mile-long expanse of wagons creeping toward its goal: the ominous, imposing fortress of Bare-Adore. Gaudy flashing neon illuminates the cloud-blackened sky with such alluring messages as “Bury Your Cares at BARE-ADORE!”, “All Live! All Nude! All Yours!”, “Every Taste Catered To!”, “Casino/Bordello: The Loosest Sluts in Town!”, “Check All Souls at the Door”, etc.
Dildo: There it is! Your new home!
Ditzee: Look at the line! It’ll take us a week to get in!
Dildo: Don’t be silly! That’s the main gate. We get to use the service entrance.
Pan to the other end of the castle. The row of waiting delivery carts is twice as long.
Dildo: Aw hell!
Sleezie: Not surprising, the way Bare-Adore gobbles up resources! Damn! We’ll never make it at this rate! There must be some kind of short-cut.
Dildo: (sighing) I was hoping to avoid this. But I guess there’s no choice. Girls, I’m about to let you in on a huge secret. And you can’t blab it to anyone! Promise?
The girls voice their assent. Dildo plucks the magic ring from his pocket for everyone to admire.
Dissolve to a Casino utility door. An armed thug from The Trolls motorcycle gang stands guard. Cut to his stark shadow on the sculpted brickwork. Dildo’s shadow creeps up alongside, and his enormous penis snakes over to tap the thug’s far shoulder. Startled and suspicious, the biker stalks off to search in the wrong direction.
Cut to a medium-shot as the door swings open.
Dildo: (invisible) Hurry it up! He won’t be gone long!
The girls sprint through the open entryway, the last of them squealing as she’s goosed by the invisible Dildo. Pissed, she grabs the handle and slams the door shut.
Dildo: Yeoww!
Star wipe to the luxurious INTERIOR of Bare-Adore. As Dildo grumbles and rubs his groin, the party passes dozens of high-rollers and merry-makers.
Gropie: Feel the electricity? I’m just aching to get started!
Dildo: (sourly) Yeah. I’m aching pretty good myself.
Floozie: Let’s find Hardon and sign those contracts!
They soon locate the private offices of Whordor’s dark master. Attendants usher them directly before the Lord of the Wrongs, whose identity is obscured by a full suit of obscenely filigreed armor and a billowing black cloak. He lounges on a plush, pink, inflatable plastic throne, absently fondling one of his private toys, a voluptuous, feral Tiger Woman.
Dildo: (quietly, to Sleezie) Some macho big-shot! We show up just in time to catch him playing with his pussy!
Hardon: (in a deep, commanding tone) Ah! The lovely ladies I ordered from the land of the Spire! Welcome to my modest pleasure palace! I’m sure each of you will achieve the fame and fortune you deserve! (addressing Dildo) And this must be your valiant escort!
Dildo: (with false cheer) Yup! Got ‘em here safe and sound. Not a scratch on ‘em, no deep ones anyway. So, if you’ll just fork over my fee, I’ll leave you to your important affairs...
Hardon: Nonsense, my honored guest! I wouldn’t dream of releasing you so soon! Not before you’ve had an opportunity to sample the delights of this intoxicating realm! Let none impugn the hospitality of Hardon! For a few precious days, Bare-Adore is yours to diddle as you desire!
Dildo: I’ll be go to hell! You’re not nearly as bad as the rumors claim!
Hardon: (jovially) I am a most misunderstood man! (clapping for attendants) See these tired travelers to a private suite! Fulfill their every want! Soothe them! Pamper them!
Dildo and the girls gleefully exit with the attendants.
Hardon: (musing) So, Dildo Dinkwood comes into the claws of Whordor at last, bearing the very power I need to make sucking slaves of all in Diddle Earth! But how to wrest it from him... (to the Tiger Woman) I’ve got it! Use your cunning wiles to tempt those tender chicks into the Play Room. They will serve as the perfect leverage!
Star wipe to Dildo’s private suite. He and the girls have taken full advantage of Hardon’s largess, lolling about in silk pajamas and sipping tropical drinks. Floozie and Gropie receive massages, while Loosie gets a pedicure. Dildo sprawls on a heart-shaped bed, disgustedly perusing a newspaper, The Weekly World Snot-Rag. The bold headline states, “Half-pint caught in Holly Wood Love Nest with Seven Hookers!” His own harried face graces the accompanying photo.
Dildo: Call this a complimentary paper?! Damn fucking spider bastards!
Loosie: (to the pedicurist) I simply must visit a beauty salon, hon. Can you direct me?
Afrodo: I’m gonna hit the Casino, check out the action. (to Sleezie) You comin’?
Dildo: (plaintively) Hey, don’t go wandering off! Doesn’t anyone want to play?
Ditzee: You can deal me in, Dildo. (giggling conspiratorially) But how about slipping on your ring first? I wanna ride that monster ‘til dawn!
Dildo: (pulling her close) I’m gonna ball your brains out!
Ditzee: (chirpily) Too late!
Cut to a long-shot of the wandering Loosie, as she searches Bare-Adore’s boutiques for a beauty parlor. Soon, she sees a shop with an obviously bogus, crude cardboard sign stating “Booty Saloon: Die Jobs a Speshilty”.
Loosie: Finally! A place to get my hair done! Just in time to save my fading roots!
She enters.
Loosie: (voice-over, from behind the closed door) Hey! Where are the chairs? Where’s all the equipment? Who the hell are you guys? Take your hands off me, you pricks! (she utters a long, shrill scream.)
Fade out.
End of Scene 10.
Next week – Scene 11: “Smog Alert!”.
Link to Scenes 1 & 2: http://www.tickletheater.com/showthread.php?t=34195
Link to Scene 11: http://www.tickletheater.com/showthread.php?t=35552
Last edited:
