Low_Roads
4th Level Black Feather
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2004
- Messages
- 8,972
- Points
- 48
... in which our hero's assettes become liabilites...
Slow dissolve to the inside of Dildo’s private suite. He has just delivered the purloined Stimurilles. The girls fix the jewels into their navels, then wait anxiously for a reaction.
Dildo: (breaking the silence) Well? What do you think? Are those belly-dancer gee-gaws worth all the panic it took to get them?
Afrodo: (suddenly standing tall and proud) I’ll say! I feel all volted up!
Floozie: Power is coursing through my body!
Sleezie: I could handle an army!
Dildo: (relieved and excited) That’s great! Now we can go to the rescue!
Sleezie: But how? We don’t know the right direction!
Dildo: You just leave that to me!
Dildo dons his magic ring once more, turning invisible. Cut to his shadow on the apartment wall. The head of his enormous penis flicks back and forth, like a dog seeking a scent. Suddenly, it snaps to rigid attention.
Dildo: It’s them! Follow me, gals!
Diagonal wipe to the Play Room. Dildo and his rescue team break through the chamber door to find Loosie, Gropie and Ditzee lying quiescent on a shroud-draped water bed. The kidnapped girls are now clad in the cloak-and-cowl costumes of the Nads-gals. Sleezie stoops to make an examination.
Dildo: What’s the matter? Have we come too late?
Sleezie: No. But things look bad. (she throws back a cloak to reveal Ditzee. The girl’s crotch shows the very faintest hint of tiger-striping.) See? It’s the Nads-gal semen. A single drop must have penetrated her diaphragm.
Afrodo: If that poison reaches her G-spot, it’s all over. She’ll turn into one of them!
1st Tiger Woman: (off-screen) Yes, with a nice, proud prong! All of them are marked. We will soon have three new sister/brothers!
Cut to the nine Tiger Women.
2nd Tiger Woman: You human meat are weak! You can’t stand up to Tiger kind! We will have you for our food!
Floozie: (baring her midriff to expose the Stimurille) We’ll see about that!
Floozie starts to bump and grind in a wild, sensuous dance. Her Stimurille glows with an ever-increasing white light, shooting out waves of blinding color. Sleezie and Afrodo join in. Their light beams combine, forming a dazzling rainbow. The Nads-gals recoil from the brilliance.
Dildo: Keep it up! You’ve got ‘em on the run!
They force the Tiger Women to the back of the Play Room, toward a holding cell. Dildo opens the barred door, while the girls use their Stimurilles to herd them inside.
Dildo: (once the cell door is securely locked) That worked like a charm! (turning grave) But what about Ditzee? And Gropie? And Loosie? What can we do for them?
Sleezie: We’ll use all our skills to suck out the venom. (Floozie and Afrodo immediately begin oral sex on the prone girls.) But as long as Hardon lives, they’ll be in danger!
Dildo: (with determination) Then it’s all up to me! Me and Stinger!
Dildo exits through an ornate gate, searching for Hardon.
Diagonal wipe to a vast, circular chamber spanned by an arched bridge. Below, a sea of boiling liquid sends up clouds of acrid fumes. At the end of the arch, Hardon sits upon his spindly, bone-encrusted throne. He nonchalantly tosses small objects into the steaming abyss. Dildo enters from a doorway at the other end.
Hardon: Welcome to my inner sanctum, Dildo. (tosses another of the objects over the side, to the terrible sound of snarling, splashing and gnashing.) This is the place where I feel most at home.
Dildo: (gazing into the pit) Yeah. It’s homey, all right. Nothing quainter than the sight of some guy tossing bones to his pet monsters.
Hardon: Bones? Look more closely, please.
Close up of the food bowl. Hardon reaches in to retrieve a severed penis.
Dildo: Good Lord! They’re not bones! They’re boners!
Hardon: Yes. From recent enemies. I have a great many, you see. But none of them bother me for long.
Dildo: Yeah? Well, this one won’t bother you for long either! Just long enough ta stuff your prick down your throat!
Hardon: A bold boast! But can you back it up?
Dildo: (taking out the ring) I’ll back you into the wall, buddy!
Hardon: Ah yes, the fabled ring! I knew you had it in your possession. But I really don’t believe you can wield it.
Dildo: You don’t, huh?
Hardon: (with force) No! Because you’re a little man, Dildo Dinkwood. (rising to his full threatening height) You do not command respect. Or authority. Or fear. That ring is not for the likes of you. (advancing) Look into the angry, raging broth below you. A sea of boiling Vaseline! That is where your broken body is destined to go. I shall hurl it there myself. The ring shall slip easily from your puny prick, and I shall take back my property at my leisure.
Dildo: Whadda you mean “your” property!?
Hardon: Oh yes indeed. The ring belongs to me. You may claim ownership, the temporary ownership of any thief. But I am its rightful master! In the end, it will serve none but me. So you see, things are not as simple as they seem. No, not at all, my Luscious!
Dildo: (racked by self-doubt) If that’s true, the ring’s been fooling me all along! I never had any true power! Then how can I win? I – I can’t!... (a sudden flash of realization) Hey! Wait a minute! What the hell did you just say?!
Hardon: (a moment’s pause) Come again?
Dildo: That last bit! You know, right after “Things aren’t all that simple”, whatever.
Hardon: (fumbling slightly) Oh. probably, “Death.” “Terror.” “Disembowelment.” Something of that sort. I really didn’t keep track. (coughing) Smallum! Smallum!
Dildo: Aw, for fucking Christ’s sake! (advancing, with a renewed, shrewd confidence) I don’t believe it! I know you now!
Hardon: Of course you know me! I am Hardon! The Dark Vicelord! The Master of Whordor! The Lord of the Wrongs!
Dildo: You sure as shit are not! (in a wheedling voice) Come on out, Smallum!
The huge figure of Hardon stands trembling. He raises the helmet’s visor to reveal the diminutive, anguished face of Smallum.
Smallum: But we is the Dark Vicelord! We is! We is!
Dildo: You are the Dark Vice-fraud, that’s what you are! How the hell do you stay in that suit! It must have a ton of padding!
Smallum: No! We is Hardon, Luscious! We hasn’t been Smallum for ages! We was once, yes. Long, long ago, in the old unhappy days. (lost in memory) Oh yes. They hates us back then. No fault of Smallum, but they hates us all the same! “Little Noodle Smallum!” “Mr. Three-Incher Smallum!” “Smallum the Pencil Dick!” They drives us away! Far away into the dark, safe sewer! The sewer, where none ever mocks us!
Dildo: And down there, that’s where you found the ring.
Smallum: Yes, my Luscious! We finds it! We finds the mighty Viag-Ring! A lost wonder it is, from a forgotten age long ago! And we wears the Viag-Ring! (triumphantly) And when we does, we’re not Smallum any more! We’re Biggum!
Dildo: On that day, Hardon was born!
Smallum: Oh yes! We fashions the Armor! We tames the Nads-gals! We builds Bare-Adore! The ring makes it all possible! The ring makes everything possible, my Luscious... until we loses it! We loses the almighty Luscious... to the hands of a nasty, prixy Throbbit thief! You!
Dildo: I didn’t steal the damn thing! I found it! I found it in that god damned condom machine! Why did you do it? How the hell could you ever put that ring into a condom dispenser?!
Smallum: It was in error, Luscious! We did not know! We thought it was a copper!
Dildo: Yeah. They are about the same size. And Mighty Mites are awfully hard to come by. As a fellow shorty, I know that all too well. You’ve got my sympathy, Smallum. But you lost the ring fair-and-square. And I found it fair-and-square. It’s mine now. You gotta live with that.
Smallum resolutely lowers the visor once more.
Hardon: No. We does not! (clearing his throat) Pardon me. I do not! You’re the one who must live with it... (throws back his cloak)... for about thirty more seconds!
The open cloak reveals a great metallic phallus, filigreed, studded with saw teeth, and capped by an extendible iron mace. With a riot of mechanical whirring and clanking, the weapon elevates into its “armed” position.
Hardon: (with pride) Gaze upon it! The Wrought-Wang 3000! The ultimate in penetration technology!
Dildo: (appraisingly) Hmmm. Doesn’t look very natural.
Hardon: (affronted) What do you mean by that?
Dildo: It’s so fake! It doesn’t even match the rest of your armor!
Hardon: (blazing hot) How it looks isn’t important! You should only consider how it feels!
Hardon lunges to the attack, wielding his phallus as he would a sword.
Dildo: So, it’s a cock-fight you want, huh? Then it’s a cock-fight you’re gonna get!
Dildo slips on the ring. Flickering shadows herald the rebirth of Stinger, his enormous wonder-penis. The two warriors cross “blades”, then fence back and forth, perilously poised above the frothing miasma. They are evenly matched. Neither can claim a clear advantage.
Hardon: You fight well for an invisible shrimp!
Dildo: And you fight well for a loud-mouth ass-hole!
Finally, Dildo stumbles. Hardon presses him to the brink. The shadows reveal Stinger clinging desperately to Hardon’s spiky phallus for support.
Hardon: This is the end, Dildo! But before you go, I’d like you to tell me something. Is it true what they say about Throbbits?
Dildo: (valiantly) Yes! Fuck with one, and you’re in for a hairy time!
Dildo regains his balance. He uses Stinger’s leverage to flip Hardon high into the air, crashing him down again in a tangled heap. The Wrought-Wang 3000 shatters at the base and plunges into the bubbling liquid below. Hardon, his suit a splintered ruin, staggers to his feet.
Smallum: (opening the visor) This is the end of us! We hads only a little tool, and now we has none at all! We curses the nasty little Throbbit! We curses it forever!
Milky discharge gushes from Hardon’s savaged crotch. The suit shudders and bursts with steam. Seminal hydraulic fluid sprays out of every joint. Hardon shrieks one final time and the armor breaks to pieces, trailing smoky ruin as it plummets into the boiling abyss.
Dildo: (gazing over the side) Man! What a thrilling climax!
Star wipe to the EXTERIOR of Bare-Adore, some time later. A hastily installed sign reads: “Under New Management”. Cut to an INTERIOR shot of seven magnificent thrones atop a high, wide flight of stairs. Dildo occupies the center seat, the Viag-Ring on a golden chain around his neck. He is flanked by Sleezie, Floozie, Gropie, Loosie, Ditzee, and Afrodo. Each of them wears her Stimurille. Behind them, the nine grim Nads-gals stand guard, and from below come the sounds of celebration.
Herald: (off-screen) Presenting the honorable Miss Humpie!
Humpie ascends the stairs to greet Dildo. She is no longer the callow girl from before, but a proud Rider of Rawhide.
Humpie: Amon-Raw sends its congratulations, Lord Dildo!
Dildo: Thanks, Humpie! Hope you can stay awhile. (with a leer) We’ve got a Play Room you’re sure to love!
Humpie bows and exits.
Herald: (off-screen) Presenting Grandstaff the Procurer, from the land of The Spire!
Grandstaff enters.
Grandstaff: Mr. Dildo Dinkwood! Or should I say, Lord Dildo! You have done handsomely for yourself indeed!
Dildo: Well, if it isn’t the guy who started it all! Grandstaff, you old bastard! It’s great to see you!
Grandstaff: And now that you’ve become the ruler of all Diddle Earth, what are your plans?
Dildo: First, I intend to marry these six lovely ladies! They’ll become my queens!
Grandstaff: A very wise decision! With these loyal helpmates at your side, you can rest easy. Your reign shall remain secure for all of time!
Cut to a close-up of Grandstaff, as he slyly winks.
Cut to a medium shot of the girls, as in unison they covertly return the wink. Dildo is too puffed up and distracted by the cheering crowd to notice.
Slow dissolve to the parchment map from the first scene.
Smallum: (in an echoing voice-over)
A silly young soul from The Spire,
While asserting his rights as a Sire,
Lets the hands ‘round his head
Do the talking instead,
And so comes to an early retire.
And them’s the last words... my Luscious!
Fade out.
Link to Scenes 1 & 2: http://www.tickletheater.com/showthread.php?t=34195
Below... sneak preview sample from Tales From the Low Roads Chapter 7, coming to the Artwork Forum sometime next week:
* * *
Lord of the Wrongs
Scene 12: “Duel Identity”.
Lord of the Wrongs
Scene 12: “Duel Identity”.
Slow dissolve to the inside of Dildo’s private suite. He has just delivered the purloined Stimurilles. The girls fix the jewels into their navels, then wait anxiously for a reaction.
Dildo: (breaking the silence) Well? What do you think? Are those belly-dancer gee-gaws worth all the panic it took to get them?
Afrodo: (suddenly standing tall and proud) I’ll say! I feel all volted up!
Floozie: Power is coursing through my body!
Sleezie: I could handle an army!
Dildo: (relieved and excited) That’s great! Now we can go to the rescue!
Sleezie: But how? We don’t know the right direction!
Dildo: You just leave that to me!
Dildo dons his magic ring once more, turning invisible. Cut to his shadow on the apartment wall. The head of his enormous penis flicks back and forth, like a dog seeking a scent. Suddenly, it snaps to rigid attention.
Dildo: It’s them! Follow me, gals!
Diagonal wipe to the Play Room. Dildo and his rescue team break through the chamber door to find Loosie, Gropie and Ditzee lying quiescent on a shroud-draped water bed. The kidnapped girls are now clad in the cloak-and-cowl costumes of the Nads-gals. Sleezie stoops to make an examination.
Dildo: What’s the matter? Have we come too late?
Sleezie: No. But things look bad. (she throws back a cloak to reveal Ditzee. The girl’s crotch shows the very faintest hint of tiger-striping.) See? It’s the Nads-gal semen. A single drop must have penetrated her diaphragm.
Afrodo: If that poison reaches her G-spot, it’s all over. She’ll turn into one of them!
1st Tiger Woman: (off-screen) Yes, with a nice, proud prong! All of them are marked. We will soon have three new sister/brothers!
Cut to the nine Tiger Women.
2nd Tiger Woman: You human meat are weak! You can’t stand up to Tiger kind! We will have you for our food!
Floozie: (baring her midriff to expose the Stimurille) We’ll see about that!
Floozie starts to bump and grind in a wild, sensuous dance. Her Stimurille glows with an ever-increasing white light, shooting out waves of blinding color. Sleezie and Afrodo join in. Their light beams combine, forming a dazzling rainbow. The Nads-gals recoil from the brilliance.
Dildo: Keep it up! You’ve got ‘em on the run!
They force the Tiger Women to the back of the Play Room, toward a holding cell. Dildo opens the barred door, while the girls use their Stimurilles to herd them inside.
Dildo: (once the cell door is securely locked) That worked like a charm! (turning grave) But what about Ditzee? And Gropie? And Loosie? What can we do for them?
Sleezie: We’ll use all our skills to suck out the venom. (Floozie and Afrodo immediately begin oral sex on the prone girls.) But as long as Hardon lives, they’ll be in danger!
Dildo: (with determination) Then it’s all up to me! Me and Stinger!
Dildo exits through an ornate gate, searching for Hardon.
Diagonal wipe to a vast, circular chamber spanned by an arched bridge. Below, a sea of boiling liquid sends up clouds of acrid fumes. At the end of the arch, Hardon sits upon his spindly, bone-encrusted throne. He nonchalantly tosses small objects into the steaming abyss. Dildo enters from a doorway at the other end.
Hardon: Welcome to my inner sanctum, Dildo. (tosses another of the objects over the side, to the terrible sound of snarling, splashing and gnashing.) This is the place where I feel most at home.
Dildo: (gazing into the pit) Yeah. It’s homey, all right. Nothing quainter than the sight of some guy tossing bones to his pet monsters.
Hardon: Bones? Look more closely, please.
Close up of the food bowl. Hardon reaches in to retrieve a severed penis.
Dildo: Good Lord! They’re not bones! They’re boners!
Hardon: Yes. From recent enemies. I have a great many, you see. But none of them bother me for long.
Dildo: Yeah? Well, this one won’t bother you for long either! Just long enough ta stuff your prick down your throat!
Hardon: A bold boast! But can you back it up?
Dildo: (taking out the ring) I’ll back you into the wall, buddy!
Hardon: Ah yes, the fabled ring! I knew you had it in your possession. But I really don’t believe you can wield it.
Dildo: You don’t, huh?
Hardon: (with force) No! Because you’re a little man, Dildo Dinkwood. (rising to his full threatening height) You do not command respect. Or authority. Or fear. That ring is not for the likes of you. (advancing) Look into the angry, raging broth below you. A sea of boiling Vaseline! That is where your broken body is destined to go. I shall hurl it there myself. The ring shall slip easily from your puny prick, and I shall take back my property at my leisure.
Dildo: Whadda you mean “your” property!?
Hardon: Oh yes indeed. The ring belongs to me. You may claim ownership, the temporary ownership of any thief. But I am its rightful master! In the end, it will serve none but me. So you see, things are not as simple as they seem. No, not at all, my Luscious!
Dildo: (racked by self-doubt) If that’s true, the ring’s been fooling me all along! I never had any true power! Then how can I win? I – I can’t!... (a sudden flash of realization) Hey! Wait a minute! What the hell did you just say?!
Hardon: (a moment’s pause) Come again?
Dildo: That last bit! You know, right after “Things aren’t all that simple”, whatever.
Hardon: (fumbling slightly) Oh. probably, “Death.” “Terror.” “Disembowelment.” Something of that sort. I really didn’t keep track. (coughing) Smallum! Smallum!
Dildo: Aw, for fucking Christ’s sake! (advancing, with a renewed, shrewd confidence) I don’t believe it! I know you now!
Hardon: Of course you know me! I am Hardon! The Dark Vicelord! The Master of Whordor! The Lord of the Wrongs!
Dildo: You sure as shit are not! (in a wheedling voice) Come on out, Smallum!
The huge figure of Hardon stands trembling. He raises the helmet’s visor to reveal the diminutive, anguished face of Smallum.
Smallum: But we is the Dark Vicelord! We is! We is!
Dildo: You are the Dark Vice-fraud, that’s what you are! How the hell do you stay in that suit! It must have a ton of padding!
Smallum: No! We is Hardon, Luscious! We hasn’t been Smallum for ages! We was once, yes. Long, long ago, in the old unhappy days. (lost in memory) Oh yes. They hates us back then. No fault of Smallum, but they hates us all the same! “Little Noodle Smallum!” “Mr. Three-Incher Smallum!” “Smallum the Pencil Dick!” They drives us away! Far away into the dark, safe sewer! The sewer, where none ever mocks us!
Dildo: And down there, that’s where you found the ring.
Smallum: Yes, my Luscious! We finds it! We finds the mighty Viag-Ring! A lost wonder it is, from a forgotten age long ago! And we wears the Viag-Ring! (triumphantly) And when we does, we’re not Smallum any more! We’re Biggum!
Dildo: On that day, Hardon was born!
Smallum: Oh yes! We fashions the Armor! We tames the Nads-gals! We builds Bare-Adore! The ring makes it all possible! The ring makes everything possible, my Luscious... until we loses it! We loses the almighty Luscious... to the hands of a nasty, prixy Throbbit thief! You!
Dildo: I didn’t steal the damn thing! I found it! I found it in that god damned condom machine! Why did you do it? How the hell could you ever put that ring into a condom dispenser?!
Smallum: It was in error, Luscious! We did not know! We thought it was a copper!
Dildo: Yeah. They are about the same size. And Mighty Mites are awfully hard to come by. As a fellow shorty, I know that all too well. You’ve got my sympathy, Smallum. But you lost the ring fair-and-square. And I found it fair-and-square. It’s mine now. You gotta live with that.
Smallum resolutely lowers the visor once more.
Hardon: No. We does not! (clearing his throat) Pardon me. I do not! You’re the one who must live with it... (throws back his cloak)... for about thirty more seconds!
The open cloak reveals a great metallic phallus, filigreed, studded with saw teeth, and capped by an extendible iron mace. With a riot of mechanical whirring and clanking, the weapon elevates into its “armed” position.
Hardon: (with pride) Gaze upon it! The Wrought-Wang 3000! The ultimate in penetration technology!
Dildo: (appraisingly) Hmmm. Doesn’t look very natural.
Hardon: (affronted) What do you mean by that?
Dildo: It’s so fake! It doesn’t even match the rest of your armor!
Hardon: (blazing hot) How it looks isn’t important! You should only consider how it feels!
Hardon lunges to the attack, wielding his phallus as he would a sword.
Dildo: So, it’s a cock-fight you want, huh? Then it’s a cock-fight you’re gonna get!
Dildo slips on the ring. Flickering shadows herald the rebirth of Stinger, his enormous wonder-penis. The two warriors cross “blades”, then fence back and forth, perilously poised above the frothing miasma. They are evenly matched. Neither can claim a clear advantage.
Hardon: You fight well for an invisible shrimp!
Dildo: And you fight well for a loud-mouth ass-hole!
Finally, Dildo stumbles. Hardon presses him to the brink. The shadows reveal Stinger clinging desperately to Hardon’s spiky phallus for support.
Hardon: This is the end, Dildo! But before you go, I’d like you to tell me something. Is it true what they say about Throbbits?
Dildo: (valiantly) Yes! Fuck with one, and you’re in for a hairy time!
Dildo regains his balance. He uses Stinger’s leverage to flip Hardon high into the air, crashing him down again in a tangled heap. The Wrought-Wang 3000 shatters at the base and plunges into the bubbling liquid below. Hardon, his suit a splintered ruin, staggers to his feet.
Smallum: (opening the visor) This is the end of us! We hads only a little tool, and now we has none at all! We curses the nasty little Throbbit! We curses it forever!
Milky discharge gushes from Hardon’s savaged crotch. The suit shudders and bursts with steam. Seminal hydraulic fluid sprays out of every joint. Hardon shrieks one final time and the armor breaks to pieces, trailing smoky ruin as it plummets into the boiling abyss.
Dildo: (gazing over the side) Man! What a thrilling climax!
Star wipe to the EXTERIOR of Bare-Adore, some time later. A hastily installed sign reads: “Under New Management”. Cut to an INTERIOR shot of seven magnificent thrones atop a high, wide flight of stairs. Dildo occupies the center seat, the Viag-Ring on a golden chain around his neck. He is flanked by Sleezie, Floozie, Gropie, Loosie, Ditzee, and Afrodo. Each of them wears her Stimurille. Behind them, the nine grim Nads-gals stand guard, and from below come the sounds of celebration.
Herald: (off-screen) Presenting the honorable Miss Humpie!
Humpie ascends the stairs to greet Dildo. She is no longer the callow girl from before, but a proud Rider of Rawhide.
Humpie: Amon-Raw sends its congratulations, Lord Dildo!
Dildo: Thanks, Humpie! Hope you can stay awhile. (with a leer) We’ve got a Play Room you’re sure to love!
Humpie bows and exits.
Herald: (off-screen) Presenting Grandstaff the Procurer, from the land of The Spire!
Grandstaff enters.
Grandstaff: Mr. Dildo Dinkwood! Or should I say, Lord Dildo! You have done handsomely for yourself indeed!
Dildo: Well, if it isn’t the guy who started it all! Grandstaff, you old bastard! It’s great to see you!
Grandstaff: And now that you’ve become the ruler of all Diddle Earth, what are your plans?
Dildo: First, I intend to marry these six lovely ladies! They’ll become my queens!
Grandstaff: A very wise decision! With these loyal helpmates at your side, you can rest easy. Your reign shall remain secure for all of time!
Cut to a close-up of Grandstaff, as he slyly winks.
Cut to a medium shot of the girls, as in unison they covertly return the wink. Dildo is too puffed up and distracted by the cheering crowd to notice.
Slow dissolve to the parchment map from the first scene.
Smallum: (in an echoing voice-over)
A silly young soul from The Spire,
While asserting his rights as a Sire,
Lets the hands ‘round his head
Do the talking instead,
And so comes to an early retire.
And them’s the last words... my Luscious!
Fade out.
The End
Link to Scenes 1 & 2: http://www.tickletheater.com/showthread.php?t=34195
Below... sneak preview sample from Tales From the Low Roads Chapter 7, coming to the Artwork Forum sometime next week:
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