must your spouse be into tickling ?

[SlaverTickler]

I would imagine that it wouldn't be a deal breaker, but it would probably be better. As my father explained it to me once, it's fine to be in love when you get married, but if you don't have a strong friendship with the other person it won't last because people fall in and out of love all the time. What this has to do with this topic I have know clue, just always wanted to quote my pops on the forum 🙂

 

[jpmtickle]

Heh...

I would imagine that it wouldn't be a deal breaker, but it would probably be better. As my father explained it to me once, it's fine to be in love when you get married, but if you don't have a strong friendship with the other person it won't last because people fall in and out of love all the time. What this has to do with this topic I have know clue, just always wanted to quote my pops on the forum 🙂

😛

Not to give the same answer--but to validate--it depends on the couple in question. My marriage of 12 + years is very strong but definitely not a shared love of tickling. That's all me. My wife has such a strong dislike it is hard to put into words. She does on occasion indulge me as a lee but I don't ever see me as a ler in our relationship.

It is hard--no doubt about it. For some people there isn't an issue but for some like me there is. There's just a longing to bring about situations to make tickling happen that I'm sometimes afraid of what I might be willing to do just to get a situation to tickle a willing lee. The best advice I've seen here is to keep putting it out on the table of what you like and keep building trust and someday things might change.

Ultimately everyone has to answer for themselves--as you've seen so far. I'm glad that this forum exists so that like-minded folks can find each other.

Meanwhile it's sowing seeds and much patience at my house!

Never giving up!
~JP

 

[fttickler]

😛

Not to give the same answer--but to validate--it depends on the couple in question. My marriage of 12 + years is very strong but definitely not a shared love of tickling. That's all me. My wife has such a strong dislike it is hard to put into words. She does on occasion indulge me as a lee but I don't ever see me as a ler in our relationship.

It is hard--no doubt about it. For some people there isn't an issue but for some like me there is. There's just a longing to bring about situations to make tickling happen that I'm sometimes afraid of what I might be willing to do just to get a situation to tickle a willing lee. The best advice I've seen here is to keep putting it out on the table of what you like and keep building trust and someday things might change.

Ultimately everyone has to answer for themselves--as you've seen so far. I'm glad that this forum exists so that like-minded folks can find each other.

Meanwhile it's sowing seeds and much patience at my house!

Never giving up!
~JP

Yes I agree. Being of the married persuasion for a lil over 6 yrs,Tickling was not a deal breaker. She tried to indulge me in the begining but alas she really hates it as a life style. If I had been younger ( I got married at 40 and had kids at 42 ) then maybe I would have made it a commitment to find a LEE but the people I was dating at the time ( older women who did know and indulge me) were fine..but I realized I wanted children so I wanted to find someone to love and be a good mother. ( And I Have ). But like her love of crafts ( give me a good computer store any day ) I do not share this love like she does not share my love for tickling (though she does allow me to indulge in my foot fetish sometimes ). So she has friends that are into the crafts stuff and I have friends into the tickle stuff and we are both happy with that.

 

[Strider]

I've given serious thought to this issue, and basically concluded that, for better or worse, kink is sort of hardwired into my DNA. In serious relationships, it's important that my partner be into kink in general, rather than tickling specifically (even if they're not into tickling, if they're into general kink, it's usually not anywhere near as difficult to introduce tickling as it is to get someone vanilla into it).

 

[Ticklemmmeeeeee]

As I stated above here somewhere,lol...I have been in a close intimate relationship and in love with a man that was my fetish-equal in every way...One of the strongest attractions I still have to him and cannot seem to get out of my system is how ridiculously compatible we were in our tickling and foot fetishes. I have had potential relationships with a few men into tickling and though they are amazing ticklers whom I have cared deeply for, I never have had the total connection and complete compatibility in the tickling and foot fetish areas that I have had with my ex.

This is most likely the primary reason I have not been able to make a go of my most recent relationship...there were so many wonderful aspects of this relationship, the man is my daughter's father, and he is an amazing man who is deeply in love with me...but I cannot get over the tickling and foot fetish bond that I had with my ex. No matter how hard I try, there is something so deeply important missing that I get distant and unable to respond to him.

I would never say that sharing the same fetish interests is the most important aspect of a relationship, I don't believe that, but My ex and I were so much into the same things the same ways that it was scary. For me, that is very difficult to get over, especially when added to the other attributes about him I loved.

My point is that I desperately wish the fetish compatibility was not a big deal for me, but it is. It's just something I have to live with and I pray that one day I will have that once again with someone I love deeply.

It's true that there is so much more to a person than his / her fetish and sexual interests, but it is an important part of a close intimate relationship, and for me, cannot be minimized. I tried that and it did not work, people got hurt. I envy those of you who have happy relationships with a non-fetish spouse, you are so blessed. I felt blessed as well when I was with the love of my life and we shared that but now I feel mostly cursed.

However, that said, I am feeling more hopeful these days, so no worries. I don't know what the future holds but I do know that I will never be able to fall in love with a man who I am not fetish-compatible with.

Just a few random thoughts to add fuel to the posting fire 🙂

~tm 🙄 🙂

 

[b0xr]

I have been married for over 23 years and our relationship started without any tickling at all. As much as I enjoy tickling I never told my wife about it. I really didn't think about it as much until I found out that tickling wasn't as strange as I thought it was...I wasn't alone. My wife will indulge me in my tickling fetish but does not enjoy being tickled as much as I enjoy tickling her. Once in a Blue Moon she will even allow me to tie her and tickle her lightly but nothing heavy...she enjoys light foot tickling and playful tickles. She would not go for anything more intense and I wouldn't take advantage of her...(although it has crossed my mind )...that is something I would have to find myself.