My boyfriends hates being tickled. Advice?

[collegegurl101]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now. When we got together I was really excited because we used to have tickle fights all the time and I thought he was into tickling too. I was even more happy because even though I'm only 100lbs. I could still win some of those tickle fights because he is slightly more ticklish than I am. That's rare!
A year later though, he says that he hates being tickled and we don't play like we used to. : (
He still tickles me sometimes and that's cool, (except when he tickles my inner thighs because I can't STAND that) but I miss getting to tickle him back. : (
I'm worried about how he'll react if I bring it up. I know he'll still love me but I don't think I'm up for an awkward conversation.
Any advice?

 

[BlackmoonDoll]

If your boyfriend really really really Hates being tickled and really can not stand it. Its no use trying to change him and his mind frame about tickling. Its just gonna push him away more. I Know your on the TMF website collegegurl because you yourself loves tickling. But if your boyfriend hates it and hates the thought of tickling with a passion. Then why try to do all theses things to convince him and try to convert him into likeing it and like being tickled?

The phrase ''stop beating a dead horse comes to mind'' here

 

[featherfingers]

Collegegurl,
First of all, nice to meet you.
If you truly love this person then you will have to accept his non-tickling desires. I wouldn't bring up the subject anymore unless he mentions it first, otherwise you may end up irritating him more.

There may be something heavy on his mind that is troubling him, so he may be taking it out on you. Be a loving, caring girlfriend and in time, maybe he'll be more responsive to your desires.

You may have to make a tough decision... love him and accept the fact that he won't be your tickle buddy like he used to be... or end the relationship and give yourself and him a chance to start fresh with someone new.

Life is too short to spend it with someone who won't fulfill your desires... and as far as tickling is concerned, both of your desires are at odds with each other.

I wish you the best, Collegegurl. Good luck.

 

[tickleepoo]

Get him barefoot in stocks and show no mercy on his tender soles🙂

 

[Sunriseticklee]

Yeah... I had a boyfriend like that before.

My advise.... Don't tickle him. He hates it. And if you do it anyway and he reacts negatively, it is only going to make you feel like crap (that is... if you truly care about his feelings.)

Bottomline- if you choose to be with him, you choose to deal with and over look the fact that he doesn't like to be tickled (and you LOVE to tickle). If you can handle that, cool.

But if it is really really really bothering you, or if you are very unsatisfied with it... maybe you should let him go. I know that sounds shallow, but no use being heroic in a relationship that is unsatisfying to you. You both have to be happy or problems will arise in other areas.

What happened to me and that guy who absolutely hated being tickled? (first of all... why do they always lie and act like they like it until right after they start actually dating you? Oh! I know the answer to that!) Well... LOL Before we started dating I told him ALL about the tickle thing. He said he didn't care. So I kept doing my tickle thing. Went to NEST.... He said he didn't care. I came back from NEST and he just freaked out. Said he didn't want anyone tickling me except for him! And didn't want me tickling anyone except for... Oh wait.... He hates to be tickled. 😛

WHATEVER!

And well... other problems arose and goodbye to him. I saw him recently. He was a security guard at a Value City. Heeheehee. See where all that lack of tickling got him?

Just kidding.

Anyway... listen to your heart. If you think you'll be happy... stay. If not, don't waste his or your time.

Sunny


PS... I did find my soulmate, by the way. And he just happens to love tickling as well.😉

 

[chrisheaven]

Get him barefoot in stocks and show no mercy on his tender soles🙂

😀 absolutely--- make him BEG😀

 

[tklr5150]

Break up with him and go out with me instead 😛

 

[Tklelicious]

i second that

i'm very inclined to agree with this last piece of advice--well put MM!

very intuitive of you and yes, communication is the key. start talking and then maybe, start tickling! walk a fine line and not use words like fetish---freaks people out sometimes, but if you tell him it turns you on, he should be thrilled; a shortcut if you will to the netherworld which he may like very much!

 

[maniactickler]

Looks like its time to move on to me.

 

[tklr5150]

LOL! I got a kick out of tklr5150's advice, myself.

Hey, someone had to say it. I got here first 😀


In seriousness, I'm in agreement with the general consensus here. We all have to decide how important this is to our relationships in general, and to each individual relationship, in order to know if the lack of tickling is a dealbreaker. Until you know to what extent you're willing to sacrifice something that's an important part of your sexual psychology, you'll run into this problem time and again

 

[AffectionateDan]

Yeah, all the sarcasm already offered aside, I tend to agree...

...with the general opinion here, that if you really love this person, you'll just have to accept them the way they are. But you also need to be true to yourself. Be honest with them, and tell him what you're feeling, what you NEED. Because the longer your needs aren't being fulfilled, the more you're going to regret, and that can sour into resentment. Be honest, and share. If he loves you, maybe he can get over himself enough to be a little more flexible. I mean, what changed? You used to have it, then he took it away? That's hardly fair. This is who you are, and if he can't accept it, maybe this isn't going to work out. '

Good Luck!

 

[BellaRisa]

In bed, or someplace else nice and cozy, tell him how much it turns you on, and that if he'll indulge you sometimes then you'll do something he really likes . Then learn something that blows his mind (pun intended).

Then, in exchange for some tickling fun, give him a night that makes him forget his own name. It doesn't always happen, but chances are he'll learn to associate a little (I said a LITTLE) tickling with lots of pleasure. Plus most guys want to feel that they have 'special' ways to please you, so showing him how passionate tickling makes you can go a long way.

You *might* have to move on, but give him a real explanation and add incredible sex and you'll probably have a guy who'll meet you halfway 😎 . It worked for me 12 yrs ago and we're still, um...compromising

Bella

 

[AffectionateDan]

Excellent advice from an excellent lady.

 

[ericr]

I agree with Bella. Associate it with things he cannot help but want more of.

 

[Hosetickler23]

Im kinda going to go into a true Story here about me and an ex we'll call her Jass (freddy Kruger minus the glove and Sweater.) I dated this girl nearly 3 months my longest relationship thus far and my worst experiance. This all started in June of 2003 I met her on a Internet Dating web site (oddly most women who know me wont go out with me) anyway I met Jass in a safe location and we talked things went well enough or so I thought later during an IM session we got into Bondage Domination Sadism and Masocism or BDSM she is/was in to pain whips, cat and 9 tails, taus what ever this stuff is for it kinda scared me she asked what I was into of course tickling she said "Ticking is not a Fetish (easy folks)" but she humored me or so she claimed I tickled her a few times she got me a few then came the whip lets just say what happend was her whip met my ummmm Fireman (TY Eric Cartman)(Guys if your wondering It reallly hurt)not a week later we never saw each other again all of this in 3 months Its been over a year now I never felt bad or loss of the relationship though I did tell her it was over the best way very Blunt "Go away and never come back." It's Stuff like this that scared me from Dating and wanting a Girlfriend

 

[MsDivaNYC]

There's only ONE solution:

CollegeGurl,

Here's My advice: GET NAKED!
It sure helps with My fiance, who's terribly ticklish and d-r-e-a-d-s My fingernails. I'll barter with him and strip slowly as he takes My torment. "If you let Me tickle your feet, the top comes off..." or "If I tickle your underarms, the *thong* comes off!". Make it fun for both of you. Don't go head-first and tickle him wildly...start with a slow, suggestive, sexy drag of the fingernail, so he can't tell the difference between caress and tickle. Above all, make it loving and playful--don't ever make it seem like you are having all the wicked fun and he's being taken advantage of.

 

[tklshchris]

Well, if you decide to dump him there are a zillion guys here who would love to have tickle fights with you! I personally would let you tickle the crap out of me, so I know there are others out there too!!!

 

[crydun]

decide how much tickling means to you. If he can't handle it, dump him. There's more fish in that big wide sea.

 

[ForgottenTcklr]

I guess I feel a little bad about the responses given within this thread.

I think that the communication level in the average relationship is slightly above abismal. How can either partner expect true happiness if they wont discuss their hopes, dreams, and passions.

If tickling is a particular passion in which you hold dear, then talk to him about it. Like bella said, make it sweet. But, tell him it's important to you. And then, because compromise is at the heart of every loving relationship, join him in the activities that you have not previously had a substantial interest.

This is only important if you have already decided that:
1. Tickling is an important part of your life, and
2. This boyfriend is someone you love and desire to remain with.

If so. . . then talk to him.

Love doesn't allow couples to work, work allows couples to love!

 

[Ticklish_Cop]

I agree with everyone who said that the key to the problem is open communication. Don't give up on the relationship yet. You said that you used to tickle him and that you guys had tickle fights all the time. Then suddenly, he told you that he doesn't like it. You should find out why that changed. What happened? Maybe you're tickling him too hard and he likes it softer. Maybe the other way around. Perhaps you did something that you're not aware of. I think finding out why he changed his mind about it is the key. Then you can tell him how important tickling is to you and see if you can come to a compromise. If you can, great. If not, then you have a decision to make.