You know...I dream about my ex-girlfriend occasionally.
Real dreams...not day dreams.
They are always in different settings, different places, different circumstances, but they all end the same. In the beginning of the dream we are together. It is not always clear if we are dating or just friends or even talking to each other, but we are together. Sometimes I am married to my wife. Sometimes my kids are there with me. Sometimes it is just a bunch of strangers. We go through some weird series of events and then, at the end, she lets me know that she is ok and that we are only going to be friends and nothing more, ever.
These dreams used to bother me.
See, she was "the one" as for as I was concerned.
Had life been different, had I been different, we would still be together. But I blew it.
Then, when I started to get over it, we became close again. I was going to invite her to my wedding...that is how strong the bond was. But things went bad and we have not spoken for almost ten years. I know where she is. I've seen her on the internet...followed her continued education and career choices as they get posted here and there. I even contacted her once...by email.
And, again, I blew it.
It is one of those things that I cannot live with. I treated her wrongly. I want to apologize but I know that I cannot. It would be akward and silly of me to try and do that now.
But I keep having the dreams.
She is just as she was a decade ago. Tall and slim and beautiful. I can feel her skin when we touch and I can hear the laugh in her voice when she speaks. In my heart of hearts I hope she is well...in every sense of the word.
The dreams used to bother me. But today...today I realized the dreams were telling me that she was alright. She certainly doesn't need me to worry about her. She is alright.
I have moved on wth my life...but she will always be a part of what makes me...me.
I wish her well from afar and I want her to succeed in all that she does and I want her to be happy. She is on her own course and I am on mine...but she is still in my dreams.
~ toyou
Real dreams...not day dreams.
They are always in different settings, different places, different circumstances, but they all end the same. In the beginning of the dream we are together. It is not always clear if we are dating or just friends or even talking to each other, but we are together. Sometimes I am married to my wife. Sometimes my kids are there with me. Sometimes it is just a bunch of strangers. We go through some weird series of events and then, at the end, she lets me know that she is ok and that we are only going to be friends and nothing more, ever.
These dreams used to bother me.
See, she was "the one" as for as I was concerned.
Had life been different, had I been different, we would still be together. But I blew it.
Then, when I started to get over it, we became close again. I was going to invite her to my wedding...that is how strong the bond was. But things went bad and we have not spoken for almost ten years. I know where she is. I've seen her on the internet...followed her continued education and career choices as they get posted here and there. I even contacted her once...by email.
And, again, I blew it.
It is one of those things that I cannot live with. I treated her wrongly. I want to apologize but I know that I cannot. It would be akward and silly of me to try and do that now.
But I keep having the dreams.
She is just as she was a decade ago. Tall and slim and beautiful. I can feel her skin when we touch and I can hear the laugh in her voice when she speaks. In my heart of hearts I hope she is well...in every sense of the word.
The dreams used to bother me. But today...today I realized the dreams were telling me that she was alright. She certainly doesn't need me to worry about her. She is alright.
I have moved on wth my life...but she will always be a part of what makes me...me.
I wish her well from afar and I want her to succeed in all that she does and I want her to be happy. She is on her own course and I am on mine...but she is still in my dreams.
~ toyou
