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My girlfriend has a tickle fetish.

QueenOfHearts said:
I am one of the "minority" fetishists mentioned earlier for whom tickling is more playful and pleasant, without any sort of real control issues to speak of. I find it hard to join in many discussions because of that (so I don't! Notice my low post count). I personally can't even read the more extreme stories.
I feel a compromise coming on. :bouncybou
 
Joe, welcome to the forum. In my opinion, you stated your case most eloquently. Here is my view.
Most of us "fetishists" often have a difficult time out in the mainstream, with locating partners who are accepting, and willing to even try out our "fetishes", or "interests", as I also like to refer to them as, whatever they may be.
It sounds to me, from what I read in your post, that you do care very deeply for Jen, and want to work this through with her. As a result of this, I believe this is a situation that can be brought to a fair resolution where both of you can be happy.
I would advise that at whatever point you are both feeling relaxed and calm, to sit down, and "put all the cards on the table" so to say, in regard to your needs, her needs, and this fetish. I believe that even "vanilla" partners, if in a loving relationship, can work with, and compromise with a partner that has a fetish.
I would say that one solution to attempt to make her happy might be to agree to begin the tickling very slowly, in very small doses. If you are the lee, set a 1 or 2 minute time limit, and even use a stopwatch, or egg timer, as the case may be. If she chooses to be the lee, build up as well. Also openly discuss how the tickling should take place, and if you want to be free when tickled, use any form of bondage, and so forth. Iam one who believes that any person with a fetish, will be very happy, if they have an understanding, and loving, partner who wants to work with them about their needs. I know I certainly would if I met someone who wasnt into feet or tickling. All I would ask of any girl, if she wasnt into this, is to just please work with me, dont shut me out, let's try to find a way to compromise where both of us can be happy.
Finally, I think it took a lot of courage for you to post your situation with Jen on the board, and to seek feedback from the forum members. The people here are most supportive. I wish you luck in working on this situation with Jen, and please keep us posted on how everything is working out for the two of you.

Mitch
 
not going to try and light a match that has already been lit...

sooo... just figured I'd let you know that I think your awsome for the way you are trying to handle things, even though you made a mistake.
 
Well, if you're girlfriend wants to tie you up and tickle you, and you don't like the idea, compromise. After she dominates you, you could dominate her. It doesn't have to be tickling. It could be something else that you enjoy - everyone has a taboo. Spanking? Caning? Electric play? Forced BJ?

Relationships are a give and take. If you have to perform a certain act that gives you no pleasure, but gives her immense gratification, then she should be willing to go through the same process. Do you see what I'm saying here? Let your mind wander. Think up a sexual fantasy that you would like to try out with "Jen." When you think it up, bring it up to Jen, mention her fetish, and let her know your true feelings on tickling. You don't like it, you can't change that, but you'd be willing to go through it if you received something in return - the fulfillment of your fantasy.

Good luck, man. Let us know how it goes.
 
update

First of all I would like to thank everyone who posted advice or encouragement. I got much more than I expected from this thread. I am truly glad I found this site and posted here. Thank you all.

Because everyone was so helpful, and seemed interested, I decided to post an update.

I talked to Jen after my classes today. On the phone she acted like nothing had happened the night before. When I brought it up and tried to apologize she said it was fine, forget it, and quickly changed the subject. After a bit of prodding, she said it was fine if I came over.

When I arrived it was quite awkward. She clearly didn't want to talk about it. She has trouble opening up as it is, and with something like this, combined with my original reaction, it must have been really hard for her. I really fucked up, and I told her so. I apologized and explained why I reacted like I did and what I was thinking, trying not to sound like I was making excuses. She just sat and listened, looking uncomfortable.

I told her I wanted her to be open with me with her feelings and desires. I assured her I wouldn't judge or think she was a freak. I said I loved her, wanted her to be happy, and was willing to give anything a shot.

Beforehand, when I was thinking through what I would say, I naively expected her to forgive and forget immediately. In my mind, we would embrace, and she would open up to me with her deepest secrets and desires; the same ones I had heartlessly rebuffed only the night before. But after I finished we both just sat there, me looking at her and she at the floor. She didn't say anything. Well, I gave it my best shot. I couldn't push her. I hugged her and said whenever you feel ready.

Shortly after, we went out to eat. At first it was pretty uncomfortable, the drive over there was at least. When we sat to eat the mood lightened quite a bit, thankfully. By the end of the meal we were pretty much back to our normal selves.

When I dropped her off I was going to leave, give her some space and time to think or whatever, but she wanted me to come up, saying her roommate wasn't going to be home until late. This was a good sign, I thought. So we sat together on her couch watching TV. She was on the right end and I was in the middle. Normally we would be very affectionate during a time like this. Once again it was a bit uncomfortable.

I felt like a high school freshman on my first date. What should I do, I thought. Should I push the tickling subject again? Maybe she wanted me to push it out of her. Maybe she wanted me to just leave her alone about it.

On a whim, I reached out and grabbed her side through her shirt and she looked over at me. I looked back at her, smiled, and wiggled my fingers a bit. Her face cracked a smile and she squirmed a bit. She was looking at me almost expectantly. I squeezed my fingers a bit harder and moved them up and down her side. She let out a laugh and reached for my hand. Once she grabbed my hand with her right, she reached out with her left for my stomach. Not this time, I was going to get her for a change. I grabbed her wrist, using my superior strength, I pushed her hand back into her body. Then I quickly grabbed her in a bear hug, pinning her arms to her sides. I picked her up, pushed onto the couch on her stomach, and sat on her butt. She grunted, and struggled a bit, but didn't say anything. I sat there for a second, and then asked if she liked being tickled. She didn't answer.

I reached my hands under her shirt, and she winced. I asked if my hands were cold and started running them up and down her sides and back. She squirmed and made quiet mmm sounds. When she stopped reacting to my cold hands, I started tickling. I went up and down her bare sides and ribs, trying different techniques. She squirmed and laughed a bit, but wasn't very ticklish. She didn't even try to grab my hands. If I ran my fingers very lightly over her sides, or on the outside of her back toward her sides, her body would shake and twitch. I got better results by reaching under her and wiggling my fingers into her abs and under her belt on the lower tummy. She started really laughing and bucking and reached back at my arms when I did this. Her waist and hips seemed ticklish but her belt and jeans were kind of in the way.

It was great fun feeling her squirm under me and getting different reactions from different areas and techniques. Her skin was soft and warm and felt good to touch as well. This was the first time I tickled Jen when she was pinned. Overall her upper half is only mildly ticklish, but she seemed to enjoy it. I did as well. I wish I could have seen her face.

I asked where else she was ticklish and she hesitated for a second. Then blurted out "my feet" and started giggling. I never tickled her feet before. I knew feet were a common ticklish area, but mine are thick skinned and not very sensitive, so I didn't know what to expect. I turned around and knelt over her calves. I tickled her feet with her socks still on first. I could feel her legs tense up as soon as I touched her foot. Digging my fingers in through her socks was pretty effective. When I took her socks off and started running my fingers back and forth she made some funny noises with her throat and scrunched her toes up. She was trying to hold it in, but I kept going and she started kicking and laughing. I tried all kinds of methods and spots on her feet, trying to find the best one. Digging in and wiggling my thumbnail around the center of her foot tickled her good. So did just randomly and quickly scratching all over. The spongy area where her toes meet her foot was ticklish too.

I thought about nibbling or licking her foot but decided against it. They were in her socks all day and were a bit sweaty and had sock fiber between her toes. Maybe I would have tried if they were cleaner.

I tickled her for probably a half hour total, mostly on her feet, with some breathers. Although at no time was she totally hysterical and breathless like I get easily. I see what you were talking about with the 'response control'" aspect of tickling. It was great fun seeing how different methods worked on different areas. I also enjoyed causing her to squirm and struggle under me.

After the tickling, we curled up on the couch together and talked for awhile. Jen felt comfortable enough to open up to me a bit. She said she liked being tickled and it turned her on. She didn't know if she prefers being tickled or tickling me. As some of you advised, I asked Jen to agree to use a safeword when tickling me which would make her stop immediately. She was fine with that. Our safeword is "uncle". She challenged me to make her use it someday. A challenge I hope to fulfill.

After talking for awhile I hugged Jen tightly and brought my hands into her stomach. She was laying on top of me with her head on my chest. I snaked my hands down under her belt and into her pants and started wiggling and gently pushing them into her lower stomach and her pubic region. She started laughing and squirming around on top of me. She couldn't pry my hands off so she shot her hands down and started squeezing my sides. I resisted the urge to do my usual routine and curl up into a defensive mode, and continued tickling her. We both laughed and wiggled around together for a bit. Eventually I had to let go and reach to protect my sides and ribs. Jen stopped, took my hands, and guided them back down. I went into her pants and felt how wet she was. This stuff really turned her on. I quickly moved us to the bedroom. I'm sure you can infer what went on in there.

We both had a wonderful time last night. I have to admit I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. It wasn't only the fact that Jen liked it that made me enjoy it. I had fun myself. Although I wasn't on the receiving end, so we'll see how that turns out. I am so pleased Jen opened up and expressed her feelings. Although she's known she's liked tickling for a long time, she is still inexperienced. I am looking forward to exploring this fetish with her. Not only will it improve our sex life, I think it will bring us closer together entirely.

Once again, thank you all for your help. This place gave me the confidence and piece of mind I needed to make this work for us. Jen thanks you as too. I hope you enjoyed this post. She has given me permission to make this post and future ones as well. So if you'd like, I can continue to make updates.
 
One request I forgot to add. Can anyone link me to some consensual tickle stories that are erotic but not torturous.
 
regularjoe said:
One request I forgot to add. Can anyone link me to some consensual tickle stories that are erotic but not torturous.


these were the first stories i read. check them out. erotic and consensual for the most part.

http://www.ticklingforum.com/forumdisplay.php?f=141

laughter_in_loves stories. also there are other consensual erotic tickle stories in those archives.

isabeau

also this guys stories are great

http://www.ticklingforum.com/forumdisplay.php?f=142

hope i have helped out. and check out the true stories, many are erotic and consensual.
 
Glad it worked out, Joe. The good thing about this is if you have any secret desires, you can reveal them to her as well. With this level of trust, your relationship has opened up.

Sounds like Jen hasn't really explored her fetish, since she's not sure if she enjoys tickling, being tickled, or both. I can remember when I first discovered my tickling/BDSM tendencies... ah, memories. Have fun experimenting! 😎
 
I'm very glad to see your update, and read how things have worked out so far. Good luck to both of you. 😀
 
There's so much to say and I'm a bit behind on this post, so I'm not going to sit here to try to say everything I wanted to. So I'm just going to reply to your update, Joe. 🙂

Your evening with Jen reminded me much of when my fiance, Jason, found out about my fetish. Jason never really reacted badly when he found out tickling was a turn on for me; he thought it was "neat." He thought it would give us more stuff to do and more play in the bedroom so he was all for it. I think he might have been a little bothered with how much tickling turned me on. I think I remember him saying that he was disappointed that I thought about being tickled before thinking about intercourse. He knew that I never really accepted my fetish and even now, about two years later, he still helps me through moments where I think I'm a total freak.

I thought it was neat in your passage on how you really enjoyed tickling Jen. You may not have enjoyed like she did, but it's fun nonetheless. Again Jason is the exact same way; tickling doesn't turn him on, but I think it makes him wild to see how worked up I get and to be frank, our life in the bedroom became MUCH better. My advice to you is continue to explore. Your girlfriend is just coming out of her closet, so to speak. If she's anything like I was, and probably still am, she's not sure what she likes. If you two have a little tickle session, that's great. Talk about it too. It'll get you both more comfortable.

And as far as stories goes... well, to be honest, I've known about my fetish for 6 years now. Even now, I can't read a lot of them. Non-consensual tickling freaks me out. Completely. I'm one of the types that thinks it should definately be enjoyed by both parties and it is a type of intimacy (I guess I'm in that rare category too). I'm not putting anyone else's likes down, but I'm just saying I know how you feel. I'll see if I can find any good consensual literature for you, but I think Izzy got some already. 🙂

Maybe I should just break down and write my own. 😉 Anyway, good luck with everything. Keep us posted, if you feel like it.
 
I'm thrilled for you and Jen, Joe (and maybe just a wee bit envious as well.) 🙂

Best of luck to you both.

~Lynn
 
This is much better than reality tv!

Well done Joe! I foudn this thread too late,so there isnt really much i can add,but if you need any help with anything in the future im pretty easy to find 🙂
 
Joe, Iam happy to hear that it all worked out for you. Your tickling of Jen that you posted sounded enjoyable for both of you. I wish you continued success in continuing to explore this fetish with her. I look forward to your upfates.

Mitch
 
regularjoe said:
First of all I would like to thank everyone who posted advice or encouragement. I got much more than I expected from this thread. I am truly glad I found this site and posted here. Thank you all.

Because everyone was so helpful, and seemed interested, I decided to post an update.

I talked to Jen after my classes today. On the phone she acted like nothing had happened the night before. When I brought it up and tried to apologize she said it was fine, forget it, and quickly changed the subject. After a bit of prodding, she said it was fine if I came over.

When I arrived it was quite awkward. She clearly didn't want to talk about it. She has trouble opening up as it is, and with something like this, combined with my original reaction, it must have been really hard for her. I really fucked up, and I told her so. I apologized and explained why I reacted like I did and what I was thinking, trying not to sound like I was making excuses. She just sat and listened, looking uncomfortable.

I told her I wanted her to be open with me with her feelings and desires. I assured her I wouldn't judge or think she was a freak. I said I loved her, wanted her to be happy, and was willing to give anything a shot.

Beforehand, when I was thinking through what I would say, I naively expected her to forgive and forget immediately. In my mind, we would embrace, and she would open up to me with her deepest secrets and desires; the same ones I had heartlessly rebuffed only the night before. But after I finished we both just sat there, me looking at her and she at the floor. She didn't say anything. Well, I gave it my best shot. I couldn't push her. I hugged her and said whenever you feel ready.

Shortly after, we went out to eat. At first it was pretty uncomfortable, the drive over there was at least. When we sat to eat the mood lightened quite a bit, thankfully. By the end of the meal we were pretty much back to our normal selves.

When I dropped her off I was going to leave, give her some space and time to think or whatever, but she wanted me to come up, saying her roommate wasn't going to be home until late. This was a good sign, I thought. So we sat together on her couch watching TV. She was on the right end and I was in the middle. Normally we would be very affectionate during a time like this. Once again it was a bit uncomfortable.

I felt like a high school freshman on my first date. What should I do, I thought. Should I push the tickling subject again? Maybe she wanted me to push it out of her. Maybe she wanted me to just leave her alone about it.

On a whim, I reached out and grabbed her side through her shirt and she looked over at me. I looked back at her, smiled, and wiggled my fingers a bit. Her face cracked a smile and she squirmed a bit. She was looking at me almost expectantly. I squeezed my fingers a bit harder and moved them up and down her side. She let out a laugh and reached for my hand. Once she grabbed my hand with her right, she reached out with her left for my stomach. Not this time, I was going to get her for a change. I grabbed her wrist, using my superior strength, I pushed her hand back into her body. Then I quickly grabbed her in a bear hug, pinning her arms to her sides. I picked her up, pushed onto the couch on her stomach, and sat on her butt. She grunted, and struggled a bit, but didn't say anything. I sat there for a second, and then asked if she liked being tickled. She didn't answer.

I reached my hands under her shirt, and she winced. I asked if my hands were cold and started running them up and down her sides and back. She squirmed and made quiet mmm sounds. When she stopped reacting to my cold hands, I started tickling. I went up and down her bare sides and ribs, trying different techniques. She squirmed and laughed a bit, but wasn't very ticklish. She didn't even try to grab my hands. If I ran my fingers very lightly over her sides, or on the outside of her back toward her sides, her body would shake and twitch. I got better results by reaching under her and wiggling my fingers into her abs and under her belt on the lower tummy. She started really laughing and bucking and reached back at my arms when I did this. Her waist and hips seemed ticklish but her belt and jeans were kind of in the way.

It was great fun feeling her squirm under me and getting different reactions from different areas and techniques. Her skin was soft and warm and felt good to touch as well. This was the first time I tickled Jen when she was pinned. Overall her upper half is only mildly ticklish, but she seemed to enjoy it. I did as well. I wish I could have seen her face.

I asked where else she was ticklish and she hesitated for a second. Then blurted out "my feet" and started giggling. I never tickled her feet before. I knew feet were a common ticklish area, but mine are thick skinned and not very sensitive, so I didn't know what to expect. I turned around and knelt over her calves. I tickled her feet with her socks still on first. I could feel her legs tense up as soon as I touched her foot. Digging my fingers in through her socks was pretty effective. When I took her socks off and started running my fingers back and forth she made some funny noises with her throat and scrunched her toes up. She was trying to hold it in, but I kept going and she started kicking and laughing. I tried all kinds of methods and spots on her feet, trying to find the best one. Digging in and wiggling my thumbnail around the center of her foot tickled her good. So did just randomly and quickly scratching all over. The spongy area where her toes meet her foot was ticklish too.

I thought about nibbling or licking her foot but decided against it. They were in her socks all day and were a bit sweaty and had sock fiber between her toes. Maybe I would have tried if they were cleaner.

I tickled her for probably a half hour total, mostly on her feet, with some breathers. Although at no time was she totally hysterical and breathless like I get easily. I see what you were talking about with the 'response control'" aspect of tickling. It was great fun seeing how different methods worked on different areas. I also enjoyed causing her to squirm and struggle under me.

After the tickling, we curled up on the couch together and talked for awhile. Jen felt comfortable enough to open up to me a bit. She said she liked being tickled and it turned her on. She didn't know if she prefers being tickled or tickling me. As some of you advised, I asked Jen to agree to use a safeword when tickling me which would make her stop immediately. She was fine with that. Our safeword is "uncle". She challenged me to make her use it someday. A challenge I hope to fulfill.

After talking for awhile I hugged Jen tightly and brought my hands into her stomach. She was laying on top of me with her head on my chest. I snaked my hands down under her belt and into her pants and started wiggling and gently pushing them into her lower stomach and her pubic region. She started laughing and squirming around on top of me. She couldn't pry my hands off so she shot her hands down and started squeezing my sides. I resisted the urge to do my usual routine and curl up into a defensive mode, and continued tickling her. We both laughed and wiggled around together for a bit. Eventually I had to let go and reach to protect my sides and ribs. Jen stopped, took my hands, and guided them back down. I went into her pants and felt how wet she was. This stuff really turned her on. I quickly moved us to the bedroom. I'm sure you can infer what went on in there.

We both had a wonderful time last night. I have to admit I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. It wasn't only the fact that Jen liked it that made me enjoy it. I had fun myself. Although I wasn't on the receiving end, so we'll see how that turns out. I am so pleased Jen opened up and expressed her feelings. Although she's known she's liked tickling for a long time, she is still inexperienced. I am looking forward to exploring this fetish with her. Not only will it improve our sex life, I think it will bring us closer together entirely.

Once again, thank you all for your help. This place gave me the confidence and piece of mind I needed to make this work for us. Jen thanks you as too. I hope you enjoyed this post. She has given me permission to make this post and future ones as well. So if you'd like, I can continue to make updates.

Bad ass man.
 
I must say for a "regularjoe you write very well...
I am delighted for both of you that everything seems to be going in the right direction again.
You did a great job pulling her out of her shell and took great care of her feelings...she is a lucky lady.

Well done Joe. Let us know how things progress.
Is "Jen" a member of TMF or just likes tickling?
I am just curious...

Tickle On,
Tommytikl from Delaware
 
My hat's off to you man. You did the right thing all the way and are better for it.
:bouncybou :bouncybou :bouncybou :bouncybou
 
Thanks for contacting us

I got to this post late, but wanted to thank you for the update and hope you continue to post. We would also love to hear Jen's side someday when she is more comfortable, maybe we can help her out of her shell also as she would be amongst friends.

Glad to see that the story so far has had a happy ending, perhaps this will be a long journey for you both. I too must confess that I am a bit envious of you both.

Whatever you do Joe don't "just go through the motions" though. She will sense it and feel guilty for putting you through it. I speak from experience here. I very much like consentual tickling and abhore the non-consensual, so we exist.

Luckily this site was here to help you, when I was your age (God - that made me feel old, well back to the rocking chair) I didn't have a computer and didn't really believe any women liked what I liked and I wound up compromising. Something I would never do again if given the chance.

Be open and honest with one another and if it works, wonderful, and if its too much for you then be honest and tell her, to stay togehter when it doesn't work will keep you both from the people you really should be with.

Best of luck, I for one eagerly await the next episode...

Feel free to PM me if you wish.
 
kingp said:
I didn't have a computer and didn't really believe any women liked what I liked and I wound up compromising. Something I would never do again if given the chance.

You grew up without a computer?! Wow, your ancient!

Just kinding man, you're only five years older then me. Should we explain to the youngins' what a phonograph is? When I was young I studied in school to what was called "A TEXTBOOK" can you say "textbook." :jester:
 
Wyoming?

How does a NYC boy end up in Wyoming?

Hey tickler....I get kidded for saying tapes instead of CD's all the time, I can't seem to shake the habit.

At a high school reunion some time ago my wife saw the DJ when we arrived and said to me "Hey look honey, Records!!!"

Great
 
kingp said:
How does a NYC boy end up in Wyoming?

Sometimes I wonder that myself. Let's just say it started and ended with a relationship. Working on getting myself back to the mothership asap.

kingp said:
Hey tickler....I get kidded for saying tapes instead of CD's all the time, I can't seem to shake the habit.

At a high school reunion some time ago my wife saw the DJ when we arrived and said to me "Hey look honey, Records!!!"

Great

Yep, I know that feeling. I still have 80's music on vinyl and cassettes.
 
I agree that if Jen is not already a member here it'd be great if she joined!! 🙂

Ticklerguy4u said:
I feel a compromise coming on.

...No. I won't ask. 😀 Lol.
 
Hi Joe!

First of all, I want to add my props to everyone else's for being so open-minded about something that seemed so strange. I bet you made "Jen" very happy. 🙂

I'm a woman with a tickle fetish married now to someone without one. It took a while for him to really understand it, but once he did, we started having a lot a fun together. Tickling still doesn't mean the same thing to him as it does to me, but he does find it fun, and enjoys it because it turns me on. And to answer your question, I don't think having a partner who actually shares your fetish is the most important thing - having someone who cares enough about you to participate in it anyway is. From your update, it sounded like you found it enjoyable enough to keep experimenting, so I'm certain you'll be just fine.

As for enduring the tickling better, some of it has to do with how it's done. Try letting her know that if she goes easy on you, you can take it for longer. See if she's willing to mix the tickling in with some gentle massage, or other sensual activities that you enjoy. You might be surprised at how erotic the mix can be!

And about your request for more romantic, non-torturous stories, this is a really nice one: http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?t=28765 I hope the level of detail's not too dull for you - it was written for ticklephiles! 🙂 Anyway, many of us aren't really into tickling as torture. Or maybe we just don't think of it as torture - for me, it's a way to have my limits pushed without any actual pain.

Anyway, good luck to you! Not that I think you need it. 🙂
 
Joe, I just want to wish you all the best. You will find it is alot of fun and the fact that you were open-minded enough to make you lady happy tell me you are really a class act. Good luck to you Joe. 😎
 
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