Thanks so much for laying out the rules for the rest of us and speaking on everyone's behalf.
It's a great service you're doing here.
That's odd. Unless I've gone blind I don't recall her using the term "rules" to describe her advice in addressing the worries of going overboard that OP stated as having in his original post.
All I read was constructive advice and suggestions that pertain to the primary concern of any couple that partake in bondage and fetish play which is safety.
You're really missing the point, Mr. Safety Monitor.
When a woman gives herself to me, she wants ME to be in control. It's a sexy power exchange for her. I decide when she's had enough. I'm calling all the shots here, not her.
That's the thrill of it. Taking charge!
Not wimping out and going "Oh, honey ... are you OK, should I stop?! You're the boss!"
No No No No No No No!!!!!
Look, it's tickling. It's not high wire tight rope walking w/o a net. No blood will be drawn, and no one's gonna die.
So stop preaching to us that there's a right way and a wrong way to do this, because there isn't.
It's making you guys look like a stubborn old prude.
I come here to have fun and gain perspective, not to be dictated to by someone who thinks they know better.
When a woman gives control over to a guy, guess who's still in charge? She is.
SHE gives permission
FIRST.
SHE gives control over to him
FIRST.
SHE has trusted him to render her helpless and do with her as he pleases
FIRST. There is an immense amount of responsibility on you and trust shared by her on her part in that exchange of power. Yes, of course there will be no blood drawn and no one will die but have you considered why it's called torture? Depending on her level of comfort, the tickling could be fucking mind blowing and she could enjoy being tickled for hours straight and orgasm multiple times from it or she could be broken fairly easily and quickly and trusts her partner to not exploit her limits simply for his own selfish pleasure and Not-Whimp-Out machismo.
Sex, bondage, foreplay, tickling, it's all intimate and intimacy requires pleasure shared by BOTH parties at ALL times in order for both to walk away with an experience that will want to be shared again.
Someone here mentioned using preview videos as a reference for real life which is laughable to a point I can't even comprehend. To use as reference in turn however, I'll use this copied and pasted entry from thehouseofgord.com which is mainly a bondage based website but speaks truth in regards to trust and play in general:
"Often men just go blundering in with the assumption that what turns them on, will surely turn the woman on. Well sorry to disappoint you guys, but if she doesn't like bondage, the chances are she never will. Bondage is a fantasy that seems to be there from birth. I have yet to meet a woman who has never had any fantasy of bondage, who eventually got into the scene and enjoyed it. They either have it or they don't. Some may profess to enjoy it for the sake of pleasing a mate they want to be with, but often I have talked to ladies who confessed to that in private. Fortunately they were only a few, and generally their male partner was extremely good to them on all other counts, so a little discomfort seemed to be acceptable to them for the returns.
A true bondage-loving lady is easy to separate from the actors. They will come to you and travel great distances without any form of coercion once the word goes out that you are a genuine
safe player. They love the attention, and they thrive on the power it gives them over their male counterparts.
You just have to treat them with the respect they deserve, prove to them that you are safe, consensual, and care about their well being ,and they will begin to emerge from beneath that protective female barrier; a barrier that unfortunately, we men created in our blundering and often crass approach. Once your sincerity and honesty is proven in their minds, women quickly demonstrate that far from being the less sexually oriented, they are in fact in class that leaves male sexuality in the dust.
The key word here is make that lady feel really good by attending to her needs, and generally women will respond favourably.
Control by pleasure and caring is a powerful tool that rarely backfires. Control by force, blackmail or coercion is a no-go that will surely blow up in your face.
Don't ever underestimate the female of the species. They are not malleable, easily controlled beings. You make think you have won, but they'll nail your ass in the long run by a variety of subtle methods. Respect them and treat them right, that is the key. In fact, one of the most common reasons for a woman who is not strongly into restraint and bondage being reticent about trying it, is the feeling that she is being used and or humiliated. One of the first issues you must attend to is to get the message over to them that although they may be bound, objectified, whatever you want to call it; is that a bound bondage play mate in fact holds all the cards. The bound woman becomes not an object of ridicule, but an object of immense power in the eyes of a bondage master. It is a Catch 22 situation that I have never managed to resolve, nor really want to. It goes like this. If you don't please her, she will never want to play again. If you hurt her or betray her trust by refusing to release her when she uses the safe word, you are toast.
A quaint way of putting it is that the true bondage master becomes the moth fluttering around the flickering candle flame: treat the flame with respect or you will be burned up. If that isn't how you see it, then keep away from bondage as you are approaching a possible non-consensual attitude."
tl:dr:
If you hurt her or betray her trust by refusing to release her when she uses the safe word, you are toast. A quaint way of putting it is that the true bondage master becomes the moth fluttering around the flickering candle flame: treat the flame with respect or you will be burned up. If that isn't how you see it, then keep away from bondage as you are approaching a possible non-consensual attitude.
I cannot fucking BELIEVE I even wasted time even posting this and went to the extent of bolding certain lines. Arguments anywhere online bore me to death as there is literally never an end to it unless the servers go down.
If you're going to counter-point all this and insult me or other posters in this thread directly as you already have then do so knowing that nothing you say to me specifically will affect how I sleep at night as I have learned long ago to simply walk away from stupid as if nothing happened. And in the end, nothing has. If insults are thrown both of us will sit here at our computers thinking the other is a complete and utter fucking idiot and feel pity for their sex lives and partners simply for having differing opinions on bedroom play when in the end, we'll no doubt continue in our real lives as we always have. I can only hope that you bring up some constructive disagreements as to why your opinion differs so perhaps I and others might see some flaw in our thinking and adjust to your persuasion.
Calling someone "Mr. Safety Monitor" in a sarcastic manner accomplishes nothing.
