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My Tickling History

CapturedDoll

CapturedDoll

4th Level Green Feather
Joined
Jul 27, 2014
Messages
4,961
Points
83
This is an hour long... broken up into 6 parts. (well 7 I accidentally edited too short 5. I included the link of the missing piece between 5 & 6. I feel like Indiana Jones..."Captured Doll & The Revenge of The Missing Sentence" LOL) So anyway... breaking up the video was my only choice to get this up today via Dropbox. Billing blah blahs...

🙂Anyhoo... This is an overview of my life with Tickling... Some of this is heavy. If you are looking for a good cum... this isn't that kind of video. This is a get to know me better video. I think some of you may be able to relate to some aspects of my life. I hope you all understand why I would make this...

P. S I will be editing this and adding the link to the whole video once my Dropbox is taken care of. But Idk when that will be...

Part 1: https://www.dropbox.com/s/so7d2rxjrava7wv/WIN_20160826_16_51_35_Pro (2).mp4?dl=0

Part 2: https://www.dropbox.com/s/ng3dbdj5w5pr771/WIN_20160826_16_51_35_Pro (3).mp4?dl=0

Part 3: https://www.dropbox.com/s/yawsmuh64zb6hck/WIN_20160826_16_51_35_Pro (4).mp4?dl=0

Part 4: https://www.dropbox.com/s/xmqiahv9soz2sk9/WIN_20160826_16_51_35_Pro (5).mp4?dl=0

Part 5: https://www.dropbox.com/s/zwawqlpn20j7wxo/WIN_20160826_16_51_35_Pro (6).mp4?dl=0

*There is a piece of a sentence of mine missing from the end of 5 and the beginning of 6... here it is. Sorry about that!

https://www.dropbox.com/s/lfzglz9yftdvzqc/WIN_20160826_16_51_35_Pro (9).mp4?dl=0

Part 6: https://www.dropbox.com/s/kgsj2dx3cigpv29/WIN_20160826_16_51_35_Pro (7).mp4?dl=0
 
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Well done, a very personal analysis "we" can all relate too...courageous for sure Doll. Excellent.
 
To think that my little innocuous question gave rise to such an amazing exposé of the psychology of a fetish! I'm amazed at how you are able to articulate all of those emotions and inhibitions and do it on video. For several reasons I find myself unable to think of doing anything like that, but I can only say that a lot of what you say applies exactly to myself as well, especially the early years before you actually began to explore the fetish. I was lucky to have a wife who liked tickling but we spoke so little about it that to this day I don't know if it was a fetish for her or not. She was even able to invent spur-of-the-moment tickling stories or fantasies and was obviously far less inhibited about it than I was. I have written a number of stories myself. I live in Europe far away and the chances of us meeting are pretty remote, quite apart from the fact that I'm a good deal older than you are. I'm also not ticklish myself, so purely a ler. Like you, I'm not into pain or humiliation or into doing anything that makes another person feel uncomfortable. Should you wish for us to talk further, feel free to PM me. I promise to be respectful.
 
Hi,

That was great!!! Funny with me it was Olive Oyl being tickled haha! Something went off in my brain!!

Patrick
 
Loved the clips. You would make a perfect girlfriend/wife for me. And after the first mention of you liking tickling, you wouldn't have had to repeat it again. For me the first mention would have been enough and I would have taken it from there lol. Way to put yourself out there.

As far as not being able to afford attend a gathering, why don't you host one down there in your area in Florida? I know I would come down from Ohio for it.
 
Well thanks to all the years I spent in the 90's filming myself dancing at home for my Gf, filming holidays with family... enjoying photography... and then my previous year of filming myself in the Bimbofication Community helped me get here. So between my need for this... my boyfriend who needed me to become comfortable with myself and him... and now your questions... this was the result. 🙂 And I am very thankful for it. I realized exactly what I Needed to do when I saw your questions. That not only would be a huge benefit to myself... but hopefully people here. 🙂

And... you don't have to do anything like I have done publicly... you can do it at home... we study people's reactions here all of the time... why not ourselves? It's the most eye opening thing you can do. We are own best study. How we work... how we think... how we react... how we feel. Typing our thoughts is good... saying them outloud is even better. WAY better. I've always wondered about how I would sound concerning my laugh... my voice... how do I look ... how do I move... what are my thoughts on different questions when I will be faced with them at a gathering or even in front of my Boyfriend. Who am I as a Ler... a Lee... bring your fantasies and realities to life. Why wait...? You don't have to wait... and you can delete them if you so wish... there's even power in THAT. Or to change what you don't like say like a hairstyle or clothes. This is all supposed to be FUN. Why else did we become adults. It sure wasn't just to pay bills... 😉


mart said:
To think that my little innocuous question gave rise to such an amazing exposé of the psychology of a fetish! I'm amazed at how you are able to articulate all of those emotions and inhibitions and do it on video. For several reasons I find myself unable to think of doing anything like that, but I can only say that a lot of what you say applies exactly to myself as well, especially the early years before you actually began to explore the fetish. I was lucky to have a wife who liked tickling but we spoke so little about it that to this day I don't know if it was a fetish for her or not. She was even able to invent spur-of-the-moment tickling stories or fantasies and was obviously far less inhibited about it than I was. I have written a number of stories myself. I live in Europe far away and the chances of us meeting are pretty remote, quite apart from the fact that I'm a good deal older than you are. I'm also not ticklish myself, so purely a ler. Like you, I'm not into pain or humiliation or into doing anything that makes another person feel uncomfortable. Should you wish for us to talk further, feel free to PM me. I promise to be respectful.
Click to expand...
 
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Oh I realized yesterday I had forgotten Olive, Popeye, and Bluto... I kicked myself mentally for not remembering them I almost can't believe it myself. They are my top as well after Wagon Heels!!!!

kinkster954 said:
Hi,

That was great!!! Funny with me it was Olive Oyl being tickled haha! Something went off in my brain!!

Patrick
Click to expand...
 
Thank you!!! 🙂 You're very sweet. But as I focused more on everything else like S&M... I made my own bed on that one. Wasn't ready yet to hardly say the words outloud.. plus I thought he would "read my mind". That's all on me.

As far as creating a Gathering... I actually discussed that with my Bf but... He is not ready for that. Seeing me tickled or tickling someone else is something we are striving towards. But I/ we need to be in a better head space for that as a couple. So we probably will be attending various Gatherings in the future... creating... Idk.



dtrell said:
Loved the clips. You would make a perfect girlfriend/wife for me. And after the first mention of you liking tickling, you wouldn't have had to repeat it again. For me the first mention would have been enough and I would have taken it from there lol. Way to put yourself out there.

As far as not being able to afford attend a gathering, why don't you host one down there in your area in Florida? I know I would come down from Ohio for it.
Click to expand...
 
Very cool. I actually had some of those magazines! I haven't seen those in years!
 
Doll,
I'm VERY proud of you, especially with this video... You're finally coming in to who and what you are... I love you!!!

To everyone else,
In case anyone has wondered WHY these things happened the way they did.... Well, they had to... In order to get here.

Like almost everyone who has a deeply ingrained fetish there's usually some sense of shame involved... I know I went through it when first discovering BDSM. Coming from a background of witnessing abuse, and being raised by a single mother who I very much respect, being raised to respect women, you can only imagine the conflict when I finally started to admit that "YES, I like to restrain women and do 'horrible' things to them"...

My story (and Doll's, and your's) isn't different than most anyone in any fetish, be they top or bottom... Something triggers when you're young, before it was even sexual, and reality and who you are or want to be as a person conflicts with that... On top of that add feelings of "Am I normal?" and if you're not careful you can create a HUGE block for yourself, where, even with a willing partner in a safe, shame free environment, you can't let go completely.

That is exactly what had happened to Doll.

She told me our first night "together" that she "liked to be tickled"... she mentioned it once... She didn't mention it again until the day I found her crying in our bedroom... Even then, while I was completely willing, her mental block still existed. I would tickle her, or at least do my best, having no real experience, but even when I followed her instructions to the letter, I still wasn't "doing it right"... I found I couldn't get her to loosen up and relax into it... Feel it out...

I learned a long time ago, "if you want to see a movie, don't read the reviews first." and "unless you're allergic to something, NEVER ask what's in a dish you've never had, especially the more EXOTIC ones, until you've tried it"... Otherwise your own mind gets in your way of enjoying it.

That's what was going on with Doll for years... No matter what I did, no matter what I tried, no matter what, she had a wall up... and it wasn't just against tickling, but even having an orgasm... Because of this we had some problems. She felt unsatisfied that I couldn't deliver the same feelings as the fiction she was used to fantasizing about, and I grew complacent and almost resentful at her rebukes... After all, "you WANT to do this, but when we DO, all you do is complain???"... I should have recognized is sooner, but in the vast majority of the pro BDSM world you can usually count on a person being comfortable with, and willing to succumb to their fantasies, even if they ARE still "feeling them out" BEFORE play begins... Still, even in that world, there are PLENTY of people who don't actually enjoy what they THINK they do... Usually you lead them gently, and if they don't enjoy, you delve deeper to see if it's something you're doing wrong (in which case fix it), or if it's an inner conflict within them, until they come to the realization on their own.. But at this point, Doll and I had already been in love and together for years, she'd been with her girlfriend before me for even longer, and was still hung up.

I remember that night very well... I was at my wits end... I was starting to wonder if she was ACTUALLY into tickling, or if she had merely convinced herself that she was through conditioning to erotica and masturbation... and I knew this was a "make or break point" for us... Taking her into the bathroom, forcing her to look into her own eyes and speak the words, I knew she'd either accept it fully, OR realize that perhaps she wasn't as into tickling as she thought. I honestly didn't know which it would be and was anticipating a VERY long week either way.

Her reaction WAS emotional... she broke down crying... but in obvious relief. She'd told me and others that she had a fetish for tickling, but had never admitted it to herself. It's ONE thing to say something to someone, it's another to look into your own eyes and say it. In that moment, her mind popped, and she realized this is who and what she was...

Now, I'm not going to say we're not working on other issues, we most certainly are, (welcome to a long term relationship, complete with all the long work hours, financial stress, and everyday BS lol) but FINALLY, THANKFULLY, FINALLY, Doll can relax into both tickling and orgasm, and it's been SO much better.

Before that night, I could look at Doll and ask her "Who's My little tickle slut?" and she'd actually get angry... but after admitting it to herself, NOW she giggles like a schoolgirl and admits "I am."... (Which I don't think I need to tell anyone, can be very, er, inspiring)

As she said, this is still fairly new to me. I know what my limits are (yes dominants have limits too, even the former professional ones lol) but I'm learning and enjoying more and more every day. While this isn't a fetish I was BORN with, it very much coincides with a fetish I WAS, namely, to make the woman I'm with a dripping wet, horny, happy girl, and then to make her cum her brains out... and it's even more powerful now that I can do it with a woman that I love so much.

-MOD
 
YOU ROCK CAPTURED DOLL!!! I love how you called yourself a "tickle geek" LMAO I have called myself that in my head many times! The dictionary thing is sooo true not to mention the encyclopedia LOL. Thank you for this. You're a down to earth sweet and beautiful woman!
 
Thank you Master.. for patience, guidance, and never ending support and love. I NEVER would have gotten here without you!!! I LOVE YOU!!!


MasterOfDoll said:
Doll,
I'm VERY proud of you, especially with this video... You're finally coming in to who and what you are... I love you!!!

To everyone else,
In case anyone has wondered WHY these things happened the way they did.... Well, they had to... In order to get here.

Like almost everyone who has a deeply ingrained fetish there's usually some sense of shame involved... I know I went through it when first discovering BDSM. Coming from a background of witnessing abuse, and being raised by a single mother who I very much respect, being raised to respect women, you can only imagine the conflict when I finally started to admit that "YES, I like to restrain women and do 'horrible' things to them"...

My story (and Doll's, and your's) isn't different than most anyone in any fetish, be they top or bottom... Something triggers when you're young, before it was even sexual, and reality and who you are or want to be as a person conflicts with that... On top of that add feelings of "Am I normal?" and if you're not careful you can create a HUGE block for yourself, where, even with a willing partner in a safe, shame free environment, you can't let go completely.

That is exactly what had happened to Doll.

She told me our first night "together" that she "liked to be tickled"... she mentioned it once... She didn't mention it again until the day I found her crying in our bedroom... Even then, while I was completely willing, her mental block still existed. I would tickle her, or at least do my best, having no real experience, but even when I followed her instructions to the letter, I still wasn't "doing it right"... I found I couldn't get her to loosen up and relax into it... Feel it out...

I learned a long time ago, "if you want to see a movie, don't read the reviews first." and "unless you're allergic to something, NEVER ask what's in a dish you've never had, especially the more EXOTIC ones, until you've tried it"... Otherwise your own mind gets in your way of enjoying it.

That's what was going on with Doll for years... No matter what I did, no matter what I tried, no matter what, she had a wall up... and it wasn't just against tickling, but even having an orgasm... Because of this we had some problems. She felt unsatisfied that I couldn't deliver the same feelings as the fiction she was used to fantasizing about, and I grew complacent and almost resentful at her rebukes... After all, "you WANT to do this, but when we DO, all you do is complain???"... I should have recognized is sooner, but in the vast majority of the pro BDSM world you can usually count on a person being comfortable with, and willing to succumb to their fantasies, even if they ARE still "feeling them out" BEFORE play begins... Still, even in that world, there are PLENTY of people who don't actually enjoy what they THINK they do... Usually you lead them gently, and if they don't enjoy, you delve deeper to see if it's something you're doing wrong (in which case fix it), or if it's an inner conflict within them, until they come to the realization on their own.. But at this point, Doll and I had already been in love and together for years, she'd been with her girlfriend before me for even longer, and was still hung up.

I remember that night very well... I was at my wits end... I was starting to wonder if she was ACTUALLY into tickling, or if she had merely convinced herself that she was through conditioning to erotica and masturbation... and I knew this was a "make or break point" for us... Taking her into the bathroom, forcing her to look into her own eyes and speak the words, I knew she'd either accept it fully, OR realize that perhaps she wasn't as into tickling as she thought. I honestly didn't know which it would be and was anticipating a VERY long week either way.

Her reaction WAS emotional... she broke down crying... but in obvious relief. She'd told me and others that she had a fetish for tickling, but had never admitted it to herself. It's ONE thing to say something to someone, it's another to look into your own eyes and say it. In that moment, her mind popped, and she realized this is who and what she was...

Now, I'm not going to say we're not working on other issues, we most certainly are, (welcome to a long term relationship, complete with all the long work hours, financial stress, and everyday BS lol) but FINALLY, THANKFULLY, FINALLY, Doll can relax into both tickling and orgasm, and it's been SO much better.

Before that night, I could look at Doll and ask her "Who's My little tickle slut?" and she'd actually get angry... but after admitting it to herself, NOW she giggles like a schoolgirl and admits "I am."... (Which I don't think I need to tell anyone, can be very, er, inspiring)

As she said, this is still fairly new to me. I know what my limits are (yes dominants have limits too, even the former professional ones lol) but I'm learning and enjoying more and more every day. While this isn't a fetish I was BORN with, it very much coincides with a fetish I WAS, namely, to make the woman I'm with a dripping wet, horny, happy girl, and then to make her cum her brains out... and it's even more powerful now that I can do it with a woman that I love so much.

-MOD
Click to expand...
 
JaySnow said:
YOU ROCK CAPTURED DOLL!!! I love how you called yourself a "tickle geek" LMAO I have called myself that in my head many times! The dictionary thing is sooo true not to mention the encyclopedia LOL. Thank you for this. You're a down to earth sweet and beautiful woman!
Click to expand...

Thank you so very much Jay!!! 🙂 *smiles deeply*

Yeah... the encyclopedia... I was missing the q-z books darn it... LOL!!!! 🙂 Nice to hear I'm not the only "tickle geek" hehehe 🙂
 
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