Need some advice...

[grrl]

😕
SO excited....


I found out last week that I am pregnant with my ex's baby. He says he will be there for me, but we all know actions speak louder than words. I am just confused and scared, and my friends who have kids keep trying to cram their ideas as to how to deal with pregnancy down my throat. I guess I am just looking for someone neutral to give advice, who won't be totally pissed off if I don't neccessarily follow every word.

I'M GONNA BE A MOMMY!!!!

 

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

Congratulations!

I'm sure you'll do fine, grrl. Just take the advice that works for you and ignore the ideas that aren't your way of doing things. Otherwise, just let nature take it's course. It sounds like you're sensible enough to realize that the ex may or may not stand up and be a man about his obligations. Hopefully, he WILL, but regardless, you'll love being a Mommy! There'll be tough times, of course, but you'll get through `em and give your baby all the love the world has to offer.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

I am just confused and scared, and my friends who have kids keep trying to cram their ideas as to how to deal with pregnancy down my throat.

First of all...congrats! What a blessing!

I'm not sure, though what kind of advice you were looking for. Are you looking for ways to take care of yourself during the pregnancy or for ways to deal with the emotional aspects of the situation in which you happen to find yourself pregnant? Either way, there are plenty of good folks here who can share their own experiences and give you something to go on.

Ann

 

[Mitchell]

First off, congrats, grrl. I know I'm not a female, but this is my view.
I dont know what your family situation is, but one thing I will say is that while your ex might SAY he is going to be there for you, I wouldnt necessarially lean on him as your main person to comfort you, or your sounding board. Guys can be a bit fickle on this issue, especially if the girl that is pregnant isnt someone they plan to be with long term or to marry.
I will say, that the best advice, is to rely first on yourself and your own instincts. You'd be surprised at how many decisions we make in life that we didnt think possible under other circumstances. I realize, of course, that this is a very difficult situation, and self reliance isnt enough. You also need backups such as trusted family, friends, minister to confess to, even counseling if need be to get you through this. If you trust your instincts, and find the right people to lean on, I think you will come through this fine.
Good Luck to you. Keep us posted on how things are. If you want a non judgemental sounding board, pm me anytime. Take care, and I hope you get things sorted out, and have a healthy, happy baby.

Mitch

 

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

Yep! We're here to help in any way we can, grrl! 😀

 

[Sultrybrunette]

Well this is a wonderful surprise. Congratulations. Being a single mom I could probably give you loads of advise. It being sound advise is another matter. But if you have any questions, concerns or just wanna chat get ahold of me. I would be more than happy to help you in any way I can.

Miss you in the chat room.

 

[grrl]

Thanks guys! 🙂

My family ( well, most of them, my very proper very English Nana has basically decided I am a *****, but thats her loss) are very supportive, but I appreciate the kind words from all of you. I am so excited, I go on March 17 to find out my due date and things like that 😀

 

[JoBelle]

grrl,

First let me say CONGRATULATIONS! Your life is about to change in ways you never imagined. I have an old "essay" of sorts that someone gave me when I was pregnant that you may want. PM me if you'd like it.

My best friend is a single mom of a 5 year old girl. I was there for every up and down that she experienced. I was even her birthing coach and first to hold the little one. Times were tougher for her than some, and easier than others...than those with and without partners. I'd be happy to tell you about the times that she seemed to need "help" and perhaps it might give you a little insight. Can't make promises, but I can offer my experiences from the main supporter of a single mom if you're intersted.

My first bit of advice is to just be kind to yourself. Even though you may not think so...you're body is working extra hard right now - making a baby- and you're entitled to cut yourself some slack! Especially in the first trimester when you feel so much of the reality may just be in your head! There's something to be said about being in control, but mother nature screws qith your hormones in ways unimaginable when you're pregnant!

I wish you tons of luck and joy! PM me if you'd like to chat,

Jo