Negativity on the Forum

[Rectangle]

A better way? Dunno if it's better, but since we're getting real, here...

It's easier to hunt demons on the outside than it is to face your own, you know?

It's easier to face a monster that's 3 stories tall and breathing fire than it is to acknowledge pain and fear and helplessness, and the knowledge that no matter what you do, you can't make an evil act unhappen.

Fuck it, by virtue of my even being here you people know a secret about me nobody outside of my wife does in my entire life.
May as well be real.

Not about my having not faced my own shit, or trying to make it "unhappen".
It's the anger that comes with staring face to face with someone who you suspect might try to make it happen again with someone else.

Anyway, I've hijacked yet another thread.

Back to the regularly scheduled programming about negativity and apologies.
I got to go do family stuff.

 

[Wolf]

Fuck it, by virtue of my even being here you people know a secret about me nobody outside of my wife does in my entire life.
May as well be real.

Not about my having not faced my own shit, or trying to make it "unhappen".
It's the anger that comes with staring face to face with someone who you suspect might try to make it happen again with someone else.

But you're not face to face.
And you don't know if that person is legit, or just getting off on being bad and making you upset.
And what good does that anger do? Does it fix anything? Or stop that person from being a prick?

 

[chicago]

You know people that have met me.
Go ask them.
I've got a southern accent, make stupid jokes, say "Yes Mam" to waitresses and tend to get tears in my eyes when people tell me sad stories.
I'm not some grizzled and scarred vigilante with a knife in my teeth and alcohol on my breath doing tai-chi alone under a fan in my room Apocalypse Now style.


Something about this forum, and the shit I bump into in here, rages me the fuck out.
Wife wonders why I still bother on here and haven't just thrown myself into FetLife like all the other TMF refugees.

And I can totally appreciate that and I'm glad you said it to remind me. I know people are multifaceted and I also know it can be difficult to forget first impressions. And I sweddegod I can relate so much to the last part. I guess I stick around because I have a ton of good memories from my membership here and I'm always hopeful that vibe of community that I remember feeling (maybe it was an illusion idfk lol) will return.

 

[The Internet]

Anyway, I've hijacked yet another thread.

Yup, you sure did. But look at it this way.....now you have something to apologize about! lol.

 

[Rectangle]

I guess I stick around because I have a ton of good memories from my membership here and I'm always hopeful that vibe of community that I remember feeling (maybe it was an illusion idfk lol) will return.

What I'm hoping to find at Bella's this year, and the gatherings I'm going to up here in Michigan soon, and NEST down the road.
I've been told that's where the community is.
..and to not get my impressions of the community from the TMF.

Alright, I've got to go run errands or Triangle is going to hit me in the head with something hard.

Yup, you sure did. But look at it this way.....now you have something to apologize about! lol.

Sorry.
There.

 

[Park CollegeO]

It's the internet. Can't really try to analyze behavior

I was watching a video about a guy born without limbs who ended up being accepted at 3 ivy league schools at 17. The video had around 200 dislikes.

Always better when you see something you don't like, just close the page. There's always going to be people who are going to be assholes just for kicks

 

[The Internet]

Sorry.
There.

Hey man, no problem! 🙂

 

[chicago]

What I'm hoping to find at Bella's this year, and the gatherings I'm going to up here in Michigan soon, and NEST down the road.
I've been told that's where the community is.
..and to not get my impressions of the community from the TMF.

Alright, I've got to go run errands or Triangle is going to hit me in the head with something hard.





Sorry.
There.

That is true, though there may be people trying to interact here who are new, don't know the bullshit politics of this niche fetish community, and that you may encounter in real life because they attend a gathering. That's why it may be important to express oneself with care. There are many folk I've rubbed the wrong way who I now feel shitty around when I see in person because I know I wash harsh with them. Many people I've had to apologize to because it's not fun to meet people in person who are cool and realize you may have offended them. There are still a lot of folk that interact here that go to events even if some of the vets have moved on to Fetlife. I have to remind myself that how one acts here can affect real life if you are active in the community. I forget and fuck that up often, though lol

 

[TicklesXXX]

At the chat I have found the most aggressive members, mocking about others, and not really trying to have fun talking about tickling.

 

[kcantankerous]

Hello Rectangle,

I identify with your position in many ways about some of the examples you have given. Undercover photos of women of dubious age for instance. I too have responded to said posts that I disagree with in a vociferous manner. Over time, I realized that my attempts made me feel better but changed nothing. I also have an interesting concept of fantasy such as what can be found in the stories section.

The idea of non consensual anything makes my blood boil; say having sex - raping - with a passed out person. This revulsion extends to tickle torture or anything else non con. Having said that, I thoroughly enjoy reading stories like "Ticklish Bookworm," "Fast Friends," "Maid To Tickle," etc. All of those mentioned are non consensual. Although I find those fap worthy, I would never do something like that in reality. Yet the stories that seem CSI worthy give me the same revulsion you probably experience.

I guess my point is this. If one's goal is to make themselves feel better, by all means continue on. If one's goal is to get more involvement in the forum - some SEEMINGLY seedy characters and significantly more benign ones - a different approach may be necessary.

I also want to echo the sentiments of the person who mentioned the seeming change in how folks would respond to anything m/m related. I remember in those days I would allocate some forum time to defending those interested in such material. To my knowledge (limited as it is), the roprosma regarding the subject has widely held - not as a result of my efforts.

Thanks,

K

 

[CapturedDoll]

At the chat I have found the most aggressive members, mocking about others, and not really trying to have fun talking about tickling.

I understand and have it seen it for myself. I learned about 6 months ago to check who's in the room FIRST on the main page of the forum before I enter. There are a few people who tend to enjoy bulling behaviors. Know that I am there quite a lot and will usually enjoy talking about tickling and will NEVER berate someone or condone that crap. I WILL call people out in main also if they are rude to me in private or keep bothering me. And it has to get severe for me to do that. But... I will. Also: Myriads asks that people who see this type of behavior... take a screen shot, and send it to him directly.

 

[Rectangle]

Hi I frequently think about non consensual tickle torture. My fantasies incluye boundage, sex and tickling in feet, belly and armpit. The way I would make real my fantasies would be as I outline next:

First, i would need some kind of drug to faint the víctim. The second step would be dressing the victim with the clothe that I like. In this case I would choose underwear.

The third important thing to take into account is related muy own security because if she can let her out I could be hit with some stuff of the torture room. Therefore I would buy a motorbike helmet.

Now, I can look for muy ebony overweight woman with broad and soft feet. I think the best period is sumner because you can see feet, many stinky and sexy feet.

I would wait the perfect occasion to drug the right woman in a lonely and narrow street. Then I would introduce her in the trunk of a stolen car.

When I got home I would tie her in muy bed and I would start to tickle her merciless whike I had vaginal and anal sex.

If she scream I would punish her along one week of tickle torture.

I dont know very well the policy of this forum. If I do something wrong make me know.

I am an english learner if you are native and you want help me I will accept your teaching. Thanks and love

Oh look!
An example from another thread, posted just now.
This?
This is why I flip shit people.
This is why I rage.

There needs to be a "r/ShitRedditSays" subforum for the TMF.
A "Shit TMF Says"
Where this type of stuff is called out.

I don't even know any more.

How do you not respond to this negatively?
Ignore it?
Let it stand unopposed?

Reporting it does no good.

What the hell do you do?

 

[Wolf]

Oh look!
An example from another thread, posted just now.
This?
This is why I flip shit people.

There needs to be a "r/ShitRedditSays" subforum for the TMF.
A "Shit TMF Says"
Where this type of stuff is called out.
I don't even know any more.
How do you not respond to this negatively?
Ignore it?
Let it stand unopposed?
Reporting it does no good.
What the hell do you do?

You don't think the timing of this was suspicious?
Someone posts a blatant rape fantasy the same day you were making your statements?

 

[Rectangle]

You don't think the timing of this was suspicious?
Someone posts a blatant rape fantasy the same day you were making your statements?

I would, if I didn't see this constantly.
I could take, and have taken, breaks for months from this place.
I come back, run head first into stuff like this being posted.

It's like it's become normal around here.

This? This stuff?
This is the TMF.
Take a look at it.
Let it sink in.

But no.
Me being negative is the problem.

 

[Wolf]

I would, if I didn't see this constantly.
I could take, and have taken, breaks for months from this place.
I come back, run head first into stuff like this being posted.
It's like it's become normal around here.

Can't argue with you there, we've got some real creeps.
But they're not what this place is about, and they get taken care of when it comes up.
Letting it get to you is exactly what they want.

 

[Rectangle]

Letting it get to you is exactly what they want.

Or maybe what they really want is exactly what they say they want.
They want to have their way with another human being against their will.

How do you not call that out?
What the hell do you do with that?

Dude wants to kidnap a woman and throw her into the trunk of a stolen car and basically rape her.
That could be any female in your life that you care about, from your mother to your sister to your daughter.

My negativity?
Nothing compared to that.

And it's posted on here.
Often.
Very often.
Just like that guy.

I'm about this close to giving up on this place.

 

[Wolf]

Or maybe what they really want is exactly what they say they want.
They want to have their way with another human being against their will.
How do you not call that out?
What the hell do you do with that?
Dude wants to kidnap a woman and throw her into the trunk of a stolen car and basically rape her.
That could be any female in your life that you care about, from your mother to your sister to your daughter.
My negativity?
Nothing compared to that.
And it's posted on here.
Often.
Very often.
Just like that guy.

How would yelling at an anonymous creep on the internet protect your loved ones?

 

[Rectangle]

How would yelling at an anonymous creep on the internet protect your loved ones?

I don't know..
..by making this place a hostile place for them like most other places on the internet?

If they posted that stuff, and had three pages of people telling them they were fucked up, followed by a ban from the mods..
..that repeated over the course of a year or two might make this seem like a safer place.

As it stands now, there are groups on FetLife where when the TMF is brought up it's called, and I quote, "Predatory as fuck" and people fill threads with reasons as to why they're not here.

Reasons like that dude's post.

You deny people like that a safe space, and you chase them to the edges of the fucking Earth.
They either come to terms and change or find themselves in a lonely place without friends.

What you don't do, is ignore them.

It's like fighting racists.
They cower when light shines on them.

 

[Wolf]

I don't know..
..by making this place a hostile place for them like most other places on the internet?

If they posted that stuff, and had three pages of people telling them they were fucked up, followed by a ban from the mods..
..that repeated over the course of a year or two might make this seem like a safer place.

As it stands now, there are groups on FetLife where when the TMF is brought up it's called, and I quote, "Predatory as fuck" and people fill threads with reasons as to why they're not here.

That's exactly what the trolls want.
They want the attention, they want the drama, they want to piss you off and make the forum look bad.

 

[Rectangle]

That's exactly what the trolls want.
They want the attention, they want the drama, they want to piss you off and make the forum look bad.

I don't think all the people like that are trolling.
That was an account from Spain created in 2011.

I think he meant what he said he meant.

 

[Wolf]

I don't think all the people like that are trolling.
That was an account from Spain created in 2011.

I think he meant what he said he meant.

Ask a Mod. Trolls will create multiple accounts and lay dormant, just to do this kind of crap.
This one was created in 2011, and only started posting a few days back.
Figure it out.

 

[mariowuitomari]

Hi:

I posted that message and I didn´t want to troll anybody. I apologize to everybody who has felt affected for the content of my message. On the other hand nobody wrote a pm expressing his/her feelings or the rules of this forum. i want to say that my native language is not english and maybe some senteces can be misanderstood or not reflect my real thoughts. If someone think that I am mad I undertand absolutely.

Cheers, peace and tickling.

I will try not to express my fantasies in this place. I will only speak about tickling.

But I want to make clear that I am not a rapist or something like that. I am only a mind with good and not so good thoughts and internet allow me to express what I cant express in my normal life.

 

[meangry]

Oh look!
An example from another thread, posted just now.
This?
This is why I flip shit people.
This is why I rage.

There needs to be a "r/ShitRedditSays" subforum for the TMF.
A "Shit TMF Says"
Where this type of stuff is called out.

I don't even know any more.

How do you not respond to this negatively?
Ignore it?
Let it stand unopposed?

Reporting it does no good.

What the hell do you do?

Go take a stroll through the history of the stories forum.

Seriously, go have a look.

Look at all the nonconsensual stories there. The kidnapping. The raping. Read the edge from the nerds who desired their cheerleader crushes made manifest through manifest love at first tickle.

Some of it is written real poorly. Some of it is written well. I think an almost universal percentage of people with this fetish have had these desires, these feelings, whether lee or ler. There's an aspect of id here, for some, it's a chance to let out their deep held desires and fantasies.

It's not like these people act out on it. Most times, hell, every time, it's something they'd never do in real life. My fantasies can be free form, hell, they can be extreme. I've commissioned intense art before that makes very little bones about consent. In real life? Ask chicago; I ain't entering a room unless you let me, and I damn sure am not getting in someone's personal space just because I wanna get my fetish on.

And the thing is...at these gatherings, you're going to hear some shit. If you're in the right room, you'll hear about rape fantasies and dubious consent. In the flesh.

All you can be is be someone who actually knows how to function like someonw who isn't a psycho and that bar ain't high in the id department for the most part.

 

[Rectangle]

I've been reading through some other threads tonight..

If you can get a sexual thrill from something that's not sexual (like tickling), that's like being given the keys to the kingdom. You're no longer relegated to going behind closed doors to indulge. You can engage in it in broad daylight, with nobody being the wiser. Now of course you can't go just tickling anybody. But it does open the doors that were previously closed. Girlfriend has a cute sister? You can tickle her playfully, and if that happens to be a moment you can treasure, well that's your business. As far as anybody else is concerned, it's just horseplay. Same with just about any women in your circle.

However, in order to take advantage of the wonderful gift you've been given, you must take all the guilt and angst and flush it down the toilet. No more hand wringing over being "sexually unfaithful." You're not fucking or fondling these women. It's tickling, and the degree to which it thrills you is your business and nobody else's.

Indeed, many people make this mistake. They confuse the reason with the consequences. And being thrilled, or aroused - that's just a consequence, a response of your body. It's your own business, and doing this really does only good to those you tickle. You really don't have to stop them and tell them "I'm sorry, tickling you arouses me and I feel so bad about it".
Tickling itself is just wonderful. Have fun!

<div class="triangle" style="color:white; padding: 10px; width: 250px; height: 0px; border-right: 60px solid transparent; border-left: 60px solid transparent; border-bottom: 100px solid #428bca;">

Non consensual tickling is the dream of any tickler, sure

</div>

I'm done here.
Honest to God.
The weirdos have won.

I know there are normal people out there.
I've met them.
I also know most of them aren't active posters here.

So it's plenty possible to be a part of this community without the TMF.

Chalk me up as another casualty of the predatory and skeevy nature of this forum.


If standing up to these fucks isn't something that's done around here, and the answer given to this stuff is a collective "ignore it!", well..this isn't a place for me.

You guys can have the good vibes and negativity free zone while people like this run amok amongst you.
Somehow.

I've got to go figure out how exactly you delete an account on here, or if it's even possible.

I'm out guys. Catch me on FetLife.
U/N: Rectangular

Peace.

 

[chicago]

Oh look!
An example from another thread, posted just now.
This?
This is why I flip shit people.
This is why I rage.

There needs to be a "r/ShitRedditSays" subforum for the TMF.
A "Shit TMF Says"
Where this type of stuff is called out.

I don't even know any more.

How do you not respond to this negatively?
Ignore it?
Let it stand unopposed?

Reporting it does no good.

What the hell do you do?

If you can find this utopia you dream of, please share it with us. I'm hesitant to believe it exists in Fetlife. I've seen much worse there than here.

I'm sorry you can only see this place as one sided, as some sinister cesspool of abusers and predators. I'm sorry you're not satisfied with all the moderators do here.

In the future, if you can find some openness to other possibilities, that this place - like every where else - is both good and bad and choose to focus on the good, you might find a bit of an easier time here.

Best wishes. I hope you find what you're looking for.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seeing things as good or bad, black or white, friend or foe - it leaves little room for satisfaction. Things are expected and when it doesn't occur in alignment with those expectations there is a disappointment and an urge to fix.

Life isn't so simple, unfortunately, and thus when it doesn't fit neatly into good or bad, right or wrong, etc, accepting and going with the flow is impossible if you are incapable of analyzing truth in all sides.

I see no positive outcome in a world of Evil vs Self-Righteous.

I see one in compassion and understanding.