Here is my extended content of that post: https://www.ticklingforum.com/threads/new-here-a-depressed-male-tickler-in-europe.460918/
As I briefly described in that post. I just decided to make an account for this site after a moderate period of hesitation.
I currently live in an European country, but originally come from somewhere in Asia. Notably, I've gotten obviously more authentic self identity based on the socio-culture of where I currently live than that of my homeland.
My username 'D-Tickler' basically indicate that I'm currently a depressed tickler. My tickling experience has been rather bleak until I'm already in my 30s now.
The socio-culture of my homeland had seriously misled me, almost ruined me, and led me to suffer deep depression.
In detail, I'd begun having increasingly bigger divergence (in the aspects of the ways of talking, making jokes, hobbies, eating habits, etc) with the mainstream peers (in my hometown) since my teenager time. This made me have increasing difficulty to make friends and even have basic socialising from my teenager time till my 20s. In highschool, I had been collectively bullied & excluded by the majority of male peers & some of female peers in my class. In my (1st) university, I still experienced huge difficulty to share the common daily habits and hobbies with my peers, which made me have to live rather passively when I was surrounded by them (especially they sometime even enforced me to assimilate to them).
On the other hand, the atmosphere of my nuclear family had been also depressed for me. My parents had overcontrolled me until I was in my 20s. In my late teenagerhood & early adulthood, they often rebuked me for 'being bad at building good relationships with others' when I suffered bully, exclusion, and/or enforcement for assimilation from my peers. Then, in my early & mid 20s, I become sucked into a kind of 'Hikikomori' status, which means that I had been rather dependent on or even clingy to my parents, rarely dared to have deep socialising with those who're outside my nuclear family, and lived as a passively indoorsy style.
In my late 20s, I got a strong inclination to jump out of the horribly passive surrounding in my homeland. However, I can hardly get the psychologically self-motivation for that (much later I found that it was caused by my terrible psychological issues at that time. I'd not been diagnosed to be somewhat autistic until I was in my early 30s when I was already in Europe. And obviously, the miserable experience that I had in my homeland had seriously worsened my issues).
At some time, a girl from another city in my homeland appeared in my life. She just wanted to have an open relationship with me, but I wanted to be a loyal BF for her. So, our relationship was kinda tricky. However, she was the one who successfully triggered to get psychological motivation to leave my home and travel to Europe to do new studies (and figure out a potentially better lifestyle for myself). She was thus important for me at that time, though our relationship had never been essentially happy.
I came to the EU country that I currently live some years ago. By then, I was officially in my late 20s, but with an inner age almost as childish as 14. In that situation, I had to push myself to learn the new cultural elements in the new cultural society, then to get used to and integrate into them. This process has brought big benefits for me now. Through it, I've gotten much knowledge of my real features, talents and weak points, and some skills of handling them and socialising with other ppl. So, my current lifestyle is definitely more positive than the former in my homeland.
On the other hand, such a process had/has been quite tough, which was with much cost. For example, I did make a number of local people annoy at me, because of my formerly 'weird' way to approach them (it's partly because I was unfamiliar with many European cultural habits at that time). Some of them are quite attrative girls. This experience had made me still often behave somewhat cautiously to some ppl, especially girls.
Even now, my general lifestyle is not so active. I never have any active hobby. Though I sometimes attend the helpful activities that're organised by other ppl, I tend to be indoorsily alone when I have no option to go for any activities. I'm still rather bad at travelling, which make me always stay in the city that I regularly live during holidays. I've literally made some friends, but have virtually no close/deep friendship. In a word, my current lifestyle is kinda 'friarly'...
Now it comes to my 'bleak' tickling experience. The only girl that I had a relatively long 'tickle session' was the girl who wanted to have an open relationship with me (that I mentioned above). She was very ticklish, but never really enjoyed being tickled by me (and especially disliked being tickled on her feet). I may strictly count several other girls (in my homeland & the EU country that I currently live) that were tickled by me. However, my tickling on each of them only lasted for some seconds, with NO involving any proper tickling process and techniques. It might be mainly because I never had really close bond with any of them.
Also, because of my personality and formerly bad experience, I never dare to share my foot & tickle fetishes to many people (have only shared them to a limited number of people in the cautious ways). Especially, I'm a (hetero romantic) Asexual who have foot & tickle fetishes. This means that my foot & tickle fetishes are considered as the replacement for sex activity for my possible relationship with my possible partner (I hadn't found out this feature of mine until my mid 20s). These above make me still uneasily have many chances to have proper tickling practices in my real life. In most of my spare time, I have to gratify my desire of fetishes through watching tickling videos or texts...
So, I used the extensive texts to explain why I'm currently a depressed tickler. Hopefully, I'll be welcomed by the ppl on this site (especially some female lees in Europe) and become a delighted tickler soon!
I also hope that I'm capable of delighting some ppl on this site!😉
PS:
1. I didn't choose to post it in the 'Advice Forum' section, because I mainly look forward to just getting some positively sympathetic reactions but not much advice. I may have to handle my issues based on my real situations, and am currently in the process of contacting some ppl who may offer their concrete help for me.
2. Please don't ask what the specific Asian country my homeland is & what specific EU country I'm currently in. I choose to not show them in public because I want to perfectly prevent any possibly too sensitive or incendiary reactions. I'll selectively share them to a limited number of ppl via PMs.
3. English is not my native language. For this, I kindly ask the native English speakers to embrace the possibly odd expressions in my texts.🙂
As I briefly described in that post. I just decided to make an account for this site after a moderate period of hesitation.
I currently live in an European country, but originally come from somewhere in Asia. Notably, I've gotten obviously more authentic self identity based on the socio-culture of where I currently live than that of my homeland.
My username 'D-Tickler' basically indicate that I'm currently a depressed tickler. My tickling experience has been rather bleak until I'm already in my 30s now.
The socio-culture of my homeland had seriously misled me, almost ruined me, and led me to suffer deep depression.
In detail, I'd begun having increasingly bigger divergence (in the aspects of the ways of talking, making jokes, hobbies, eating habits, etc) with the mainstream peers (in my hometown) since my teenager time. This made me have increasing difficulty to make friends and even have basic socialising from my teenager time till my 20s. In highschool, I had been collectively bullied & excluded by the majority of male peers & some of female peers in my class. In my (1st) university, I still experienced huge difficulty to share the common daily habits and hobbies with my peers, which made me have to live rather passively when I was surrounded by them (especially they sometime even enforced me to assimilate to them).
On the other hand, the atmosphere of my nuclear family had been also depressed for me. My parents had overcontrolled me until I was in my 20s. In my late teenagerhood & early adulthood, they often rebuked me for 'being bad at building good relationships with others' when I suffered bully, exclusion, and/or enforcement for assimilation from my peers. Then, in my early & mid 20s, I become sucked into a kind of 'Hikikomori' status, which means that I had been rather dependent on or even clingy to my parents, rarely dared to have deep socialising with those who're outside my nuclear family, and lived as a passively indoorsy style.
In my late 20s, I got a strong inclination to jump out of the horribly passive surrounding in my homeland. However, I can hardly get the psychologically self-motivation for that (much later I found that it was caused by my terrible psychological issues at that time. I'd not been diagnosed to be somewhat autistic until I was in my early 30s when I was already in Europe. And obviously, the miserable experience that I had in my homeland had seriously worsened my issues).
At some time, a girl from another city in my homeland appeared in my life. She just wanted to have an open relationship with me, but I wanted to be a loyal BF for her. So, our relationship was kinda tricky. However, she was the one who successfully triggered to get psychological motivation to leave my home and travel to Europe to do new studies (and figure out a potentially better lifestyle for myself). She was thus important for me at that time, though our relationship had never been essentially happy.
I came to the EU country that I currently live some years ago. By then, I was officially in my late 20s, but with an inner age almost as childish as 14. In that situation, I had to push myself to learn the new cultural elements in the new cultural society, then to get used to and integrate into them. This process has brought big benefits for me now. Through it, I've gotten much knowledge of my real features, talents and weak points, and some skills of handling them and socialising with other ppl. So, my current lifestyle is definitely more positive than the former in my homeland.
On the other hand, such a process had/has been quite tough, which was with much cost. For example, I did make a number of local people annoy at me, because of my formerly 'weird' way to approach them (it's partly because I was unfamiliar with many European cultural habits at that time). Some of them are quite attrative girls. This experience had made me still often behave somewhat cautiously to some ppl, especially girls.
Even now, my general lifestyle is not so active. I never have any active hobby. Though I sometimes attend the helpful activities that're organised by other ppl, I tend to be indoorsily alone when I have no option to go for any activities. I'm still rather bad at travelling, which make me always stay in the city that I regularly live during holidays. I've literally made some friends, but have virtually no close/deep friendship. In a word, my current lifestyle is kinda 'friarly'...
Now it comes to my 'bleak' tickling experience. The only girl that I had a relatively long 'tickle session' was the girl who wanted to have an open relationship with me (that I mentioned above). She was very ticklish, but never really enjoyed being tickled by me (and especially disliked being tickled on her feet). I may strictly count several other girls (in my homeland & the EU country that I currently live) that were tickled by me. However, my tickling on each of them only lasted for some seconds, with NO involving any proper tickling process and techniques. It might be mainly because I never had really close bond with any of them.
Also, because of my personality and formerly bad experience, I never dare to share my foot & tickle fetishes to many people (have only shared them to a limited number of people in the cautious ways). Especially, I'm a (hetero romantic) Asexual who have foot & tickle fetishes. This means that my foot & tickle fetishes are considered as the replacement for sex activity for my possible relationship with my possible partner (I hadn't found out this feature of mine until my mid 20s). These above make me still uneasily have many chances to have proper tickling practices in my real life. In most of my spare time, I have to gratify my desire of fetishes through watching tickling videos or texts...
So, I used the extensive texts to explain why I'm currently a depressed tickler. Hopefully, I'll be welcomed by the ppl on this site (especially some female lees in Europe) and become a delighted tickler soon!
I also hope that I'm capable of delighting some ppl on this site!😉
PS:
1. I didn't choose to post it in the 'Advice Forum' section, because I mainly look forward to just getting some positively sympathetic reactions but not much advice. I may have to handle my issues based on my real situations, and am currently in the process of contacting some ppl who may offer their concrete help for me.
2. Please don't ask what the specific Asian country my homeland is & what specific EU country I'm currently in. I choose to not show them in public because I want to perfectly prevent any possibly too sensitive or incendiary reactions. I'll selectively share them to a limited number of ppl via PMs.
3. English is not my native language. For this, I kindly ask the native English speakers to embrace the possibly odd expressions in my texts.🙂
