New Poem

[11225]

Shyness, Doubt, and Loneliness​

You first come in knowing
That someone new will be around
You start to feel shy
And decided not to make a sound

Later on you had some friend
But you don't know if they are good or bad
You start to doubt yourself or other
And forget the one you already had

You find out that most or all are bad
As they abandoned you like a Garbage dump
You soon start to feel lonely
As your heart loses its thump

But then one day a person came and saw what happen
And decided to help you out all the way
Soon all the shyness, doubts, and loneliness are finally gone
And the happiness deicded to stay.

 

[melanie2]

mmm very nice...glad it had a happy ending..🙂

 

[QueenBeeBeeMari]

started out good but slowly went on a downward spiral.I know you can do better then that.

 

[Low_Roads]

Another nice piece of verse, Genikit! The meter is quite pleasing and the sentiments are obviously heartfelt! You seem to have run out of rhyme for the third stanza... a little more work might fix that. If you decide to revise, please be sure to let us know! Regardless, a fine addition to your growing poetry collection!

 

[11225]

started out good but slowly went on a downward spiral.I know you can do better then that.

How embarassing....I didn't notice the error when I was doing the poem.

Another nice piece of verse, Genikit! The meter is quite pleasing and the sentiments are obviously heartfelt! You seem to have run out of rhyme for the third stanza... a little more work might fix that. If you decide to revise, please be sure to let us know! Regardless, a fine addition to your growing poetry collection!

I'm planning on fixing it asap. I know I could do it...I wasn't paying attention on what I typed and instead ruined the poem.

EDIT: All done.

 

[Low_Roads]

Well done! The revision is a big improvement! :ggrin: That's the beauty of the "edit" function... one isn't trapped if he decides on something better! I make great use of it myself!