Non Consensual? "White Knighting"

[chicago]

Because reading comprehension

 

[xionking]

There's are a number of red flags in this thread written by the OP who interpreted the situation and acted accordingly.

1) The girl was uncomfortable being at this 'party'.
2) She consistently rejected advances to play, not just by one guy, but by several, until she reluctantly gave in.
3) Panicked behaviour whilst in session.
4) Rope burn.
5 "Bawling and screaming" as the OP described.
6) The 'ler's reaction, "fuck off".

When someone is raped, it's often, "no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no..." and somehow, within all of those no's, the rapist thinks they hear consent, or a response that he (or she) interprets as an opportunity to go ahead, or that she (or he) has given in.

It's still rape.

2) She consistently rejected advances to play, not just by one guy, but by several, until she reluctantly gave in.

 

[Wolf]

There's are a number of red flags in this thread written by the OP who interpreted the situation and acted accordingly.

1) The girl was uncomfortable being at this 'party'.
2) She consistently rejected advances to play, not just by one guy, but by several, until she reluctantly gave in.
3) Panicked behaviour whilst in session.
4) Rope burn.
5 "Bawling and screaming" as the OP described.
6) The 'ler's reaction, "fuck off".
When someone is raped, it's often, "no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no..." and somehow, within all of those no's, the rapist thinks they hear consent, or a response that he (or she) interprets as an opportunity to go ahead, or that she (or he) has given in.
It's still rape.
2) She consistently rejected advances to play, not just by one guy, but by several, until she reluctantly gave in.

Like I said, I'm not saying the OP was wrong, because I wasn't there. He did say that it was his first gathering outside a professional setting. I would imagine that would be a very different dynamic.
But I will say that the knee-jerk assumptions that he was right aren't necessarily correct, because a lot of the "red flags" are based on the OP's perception and his interpretation of her feelings.
For whatever reason, the OP was paying a lot of attention to this particular person. Isn't it possible that it might have affected his perception a bit, even subconsciously?

 

[xionking]

Like I said, I'm not saying the OP was wrong, because I wasn't there. He did say that it was his first gathering outside a professional setting. I would imagine that would be a very different dynamic.
But I will say that the knee-jerk assumptions that he was right aren't necessarily correct, because a lot of the "red flags" are based on the OP's perception and his interpretation of her feelings.
For whatever reason, the OP was paying a lot of attention to this particular person. Isn't it possible that it might have affected his perception a bit, even subconsciously?

You're right, we can only go by the OP's own interpretation. Agreed.

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

Rescuing a real live woman in real trouble is not white knighting. It's common decency. The traditional White Knight is a guy on a forum who has made it his mission in life to defend women from the horrors of being insulted on the Internet. These guys would likely cringe and wet themselves at the face of a real life threat, assuming they ever venture out of their parents' basement and out into the real world.

Now a guy going too far at a tickling event? My opinion is that it's a good idea to err on the side of caution. We're talking about real world instances here. Based on the description provided by the OP, I would say that what he claims to have seen would more than justify his intervention. Again, the term White Knight does not apply in this instance, as that term was coined to describe Internet hero wannabees, not the brave souls who will actually put themselves at risk to stop a physical injustice.

 

[duderino84]

Rescuing a real live woman in real trouble is not white knighting. It's common decency. The traditional White Knight is a guy on a forum who has made it his mission in life to defend women from the horrors of being insulted on the Internet. These guys would likely cringe and wet themselves at the face of a real life threat, assuming they ever venture out of their parents' basement and out into the real world.

Now a guy going too far at a tickling event? My opinion is that it's a good idea to err on the side of caution. We're talking about real world instances here. Based on the description provided by the OP, I would say that what he claims to have seen would more than justify his intervention. Again, the term White Knight does not apply in this instance, as that term was coined to describe Internet hero wannabees, not the brave souls who will actually put themselves at risk to stop a physical injustice.

Exactly. There is little room/need for interpretation if the OP has already set it in his mind that he thought he heard what sounds like trouble and saw what looks like trouble, because it felt troublesome. If a guy was white knighting anyhow, it'd be like trolling. Barging into situations where he's not meant to be involved (like flirting) and putting in some finger wagging in the hopes of getting some.

 

[xionking]

People like to play judge and juror and then step back and pretend to be above it all, despite consistently being key players in the bickering and weirdness of the fighting.

 

[tickling=feet]

Like I said, I'm not saying the OP was wrong, because I wasn't there. He did say that it was his first gathering outside a professional setting. I would imagine that would be a very different dynamic.
But I will say that the knee-jerk assumptions that he was right aren't necessarily correct, because a lot of the "red flags" are based on the OP's perception and his interpretation of her feelings.
For whatever reason, the OP was paying a lot of attention to this particular person. Isn't it possible that it might have affected his perception a bit, even subconsciously?

I was paying attention because she was the only one there that looked incredibly uncomfortable and then ended up screaming in the other room.

 

[Wolf]

I was paying attention because she was the only one there that looked incredibly uncomfortable and then ended up screaming in the other room.

That's sort of an after the fact reason to be paying close attention, isn't it? And if you were so concerned, did you mention it to the host? I'm just looking for clarification, here.

 

[tickling=feet]

She was uncomfortable since she arrived. That literally begins this timeline. This was at a house with a group of people not an event so it would have been hard not to see her at all. There werent playrooms or anything. I did mention it to the host but he just shrugged

 

[Wolf]

She was uncomfortable since she arrived. That literally begins this timeline. This was at a house with a group of people not an event so it would have been hard not to see her at all. There werent playrooms or anything. I did mention it to the host but he just shrugged

"then ended up screaming" is after the fact.
Uncomfortable as she arrived is where it started, and you started paying attention.
You mentioned it to the host, who was friends with the couple, and he just shrugged. So, he knew them, and he wasn't concerned.
So...why were you?
I'm not saying you're wrong, dude. I'm saying your justifications are vague, and the situation was possibly colored by your perceptions.
As you said yourself, this was your first non-professional event. I'd bet the dynamic is different.
If you want to keep justifying your decision, that's fine. But I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just saying they're vague.

 

[tickling=feet]

I'm not saying you're wrong, dude. I'm saying your justifications are vague, and the situation was possibly colored by your perceptions.
As you said yourself, this was your first non-professional event. I'd bet the dynamic is different.
If you want to keep justifying your decision, that's fine. But I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just saying they're vague.

Word. Im not 100% sure or i wouldnt have asked in the first place

 

[Wolf]

Word. Im not 100% sure or i wouldnt have asked in the first place

Fair enough.

 

[duderino84]

Ugh, this again? Why don't we push the idea she liked being uncomfortable, that'll solve everything.

 

[Wolf]

Just talking with the OP.
What's your problem?

 

[duderino84]

Because you keep pushing the idea that there was this mystery dynamic that OP somehow missed; either way, he made his decision, and tried to emphasize to the couple that what he took issue with was where they were doing what they were doing, not so much what (and let's face it, if you're making someone laugh and beg loudly out in the complete open and nobody else is following....it's not the most appropriate!). I don't really know what's terribly offensive about it, but I do know after a while a bunch of "what-if!" theories don't do anything for anybody after the fact.

 

[tickletherapist]

Word. Im not 100% sure or i wouldnt have asked in the first place

You should be sure you were right. Because what you saw was wrong. Don't let anyone confuse you with all this uncertainty. They are not sure, but your heart was.

 

[chicago]

Lol thefuck? Is this the little mermaid and shit now? Your heart was right lolol that's why he made a thread asking if what he did was right lol

 

[Park CollegeO]

Lol thefuck? Is this the little mermaid and shit now? Your heart was right lolol that's why he made a thread asking if what he did was right lol

LMAO!!! I might steal this and put it down as my sig. that was fucking hilarious

 

[Wolf]

Lol thefuck? Is this the little mermaid and shit now? Your heart was right lolol that's why he made a thread asking if what he did was right lol

What's White Knighting, Disney style?
Prince Charming-ing?

 

[tickletherapist]

Lol thefuck? Is this the little mermaid and shit now? Your heart was right lolol that's why he made a thread asking if what he did was right lol

🙂🙂🙂 lol You're funny 🙂