Outing yourself for risk of jeopardizing friendship

[ialwayseatsalmo]

I have this friend that I'm really great friends with. We're really close, and we tell each other alot. I'm not that really attracted to her, and I don't think shes too attracted to me, so our relationship has always been very simple and straightforward.

Yet, the other night I saw her feet sitting there, and just had to tickle them. Upon doing so, she jerked her feet back and said, "I hate when people touch my feet!" but she laughed about it, and didn't really say anything after that. I probably will never say anything to her, because she definitely has a vanilla personality, and seems like she would be weirded out by foot/tickle interest.

I know a friend is supposed to "love you for who you are", but out of the 3 people I've told: one I'm not friends with anymore (not related to me telling her), the second was an ex and we just never talk about it, and the third just simply won't discuss it with me anymore, and it creates a rift in our friendship if I bring it up. Do I risk adding another person to this list and possibly jeopordizing my friendship with her? I enjoy our friendship, but at what cost do I try and tickle someone, and possibly find someone who likes it?

 

[rhiannon]

Do you guys talk about sex? If so, I would think it's okay telling her. If not, don't bring it up.

 

[ialwayseatsalmo]

No, we really don't. And that's a great point. Maybe I should start talking about sex more, and that would possibly be a time to bring it up.

 

[-Hari-]

ask yourself why you want to tell her? and if you do tell her then be careful how you do it, seeing as you went to tickle her already recently you're at risk of sounding like your telling her cause you want her to join in.

 

[rhiannon]

Maybe I should start talking about sex more, and that would possibly be a time to bring it up.

You are on dangerous grounds here! If you don't talk about sex, and you as the guy suddenly start - extremely awkward! You could be destroying the friendship.

As Haribish said, why do you want to tell her? If you want to tell her because you hope that you could indulge your fetish with her, it's the wrong reason, especially if you are not sexually attracted to her.

 

[ialwayseatsalmo]

I don't think talking about sex would ever jeopardize our relationship. We're pretty open with each other about most things. She is FWB's with my best friend, and therefore I've walked in on her naked and having sex, on numerous occasions. I've never discussed that sex with her since we mutually know the person she mostly has sex with.

She tells me who she has sex with, but she never really goes into detail about the sex. If I asked her to go into detail, she'd simply say, "why are you asking?", and if I explained I was just more interested, I don't see why she wouldn't explain more.

 

[rhiannon]

If I asked her to go into detail, she'd simply say, "why are you asking?", and if I explained I was just more interested, I don't see why she wouldn't explain more.

Maybe because she might think it is none of your business? 🙂 You know, if she isn't the one bringing it up, I'd be really careful about it.