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Pennies for your thoughts

3xPIN

4th Level Orange Feather
Joined
Feb 7, 2004
Messages
2,917
Points
38
Just throwing this out there. Been a while since I been on here. (I hope this is the right section) I wanna know what you guys think. Advice will be taken into consideration and tips appreciated. I am not asking what I should do just what your thought are.

I used to work with a girl who is 21 now I believe. (I am 29) We are both single now and I really like her. But we are still fresh broken up and she just got baptized and we had a lunch to discuss some things that had recently happened to us. Lunch was fun and innocent and almost professional and it was delightful to have a mature conversation with a new friend.

Now I asked her once if she was ticklish back when we worked together but never tried because she was seeing someone. And, I once did the "you have something on your shirt..." ZING gag and when I flicked my finger up I nicked her nose. When I lightly touched her nose: she FREAKED! She says she has space issues with people she doesn't know/trust. She didn't like me putting on her rubber gloves; she nearly had a panic attack. So I keep my distance even more so Than I do out of respect for the fact that she is a lady. (I am a sap)

But... I am who I am.

When we got to her car I asked, "Are you still ticklish?" Then, I ever so lightly touched her side. She gave me a look of slack-jawed, eye-popping shock and awe. She very sternly said, "(Gasp) Don't you dare tickle me!" She then put her purse in her car (which she easily could have entered/escaped from me). And then cracked a faint grin and, without looking at me, half snickered, "I hate to be tickled!" Only it sounded like "tyk-kuuled."*
I responded, 'well thats too bad.' and she chuckled a few times and I began a light assault on her sides and tummy. She said 'no you don't tickle me' and 'stop that David.' and I playfully continued. but she may have shyed away but never fled. Then she put up an offense with a pointing finger proclaiming, "I'm gonna get you!" Then we squared off in the parking lot fingers pointing. A withdrew and playfully came back and she had a stern stare in her eyes and a wide smile begging to break free of a quivering pursed lips. I could hear little giggles escaping her nose that she was desperately trying to hold in. so we picked up and finished our conversation. she got in her car, and as she did I gave her sides a slight pinch and she laugh/gasped and flopped down into her seat. No scowl nor approval, just a bit of a blush.
I know you weren't there, but.......
Did I go to far? Did she enjoy it or am I fooling myself? I'd really like to get her more and I think she genuinly wants to get me back. I plan to ask if I went to far on FB. If she says no, I plan to get her again. Bad move? your thoughts?

I know this sounds very very middle school "Help guys! I like a girl! what do I do?" But maybe this is something I just need to get off my chest.

*Note all things in quotation marks are direct verbatim
 
I think you could have stopped a little sooner, but the important thing right now is never ask if you went too far! If you did go too far, she will either let you know or stop meeting up with you. If you message her asking about it, you may come of as weird or overbearing. People like confidence in their partners, and backtracking and asking for permission to do something you already did is the antithesis of confidence.

If she didn't react negatively, she probably enjoyed it. Not because she enjoyed tickling, but because she likes you and she liked being teased by you.

I'd really like to get her more and I think she genuinly wants to get me back.

This makes me question if you really deserve her. As tickling fetishists we have the option to try and satisfy our sexual needs before our partners even think we're approaching intamacy. If you like this girl you should be focused on trying to see her more and not get her more. A little tickling can be a good ongoing joke, but you don't want to blow the whole relationship because you just have to tickle her breathless whenever you see her.

I'm sorry if I misinterpreted that part of your post, but I think it's all to common that men with fetishes get carried away at the opportunity to indulge and they screw up something much bigger because of it.
 
I agree with Phantom, I dont think you did anything wrong. But you definitely shouldnt ask for the above reasons he said. If a girl really wants you to stop, trust me, she'll let you know...ie she'll get pissed/serious.
 
Did I go to far? Did she enjoy it or am I fooling myself?

You will probably find out next time you meet her. If it was me and someone I dind't want to tickle me tickled me the way you did, I would have gotten serious and aggressive much sooner, so I don't think she took it too bad, but I don't know how gentle of a person she is.
 
This makes me question if you really deserve her. As tickling fetishists we have the option to try and satisfy our sexual needs before our partners even think we're approaching intamacy. If you like this girl you should be focused on trying to see her more and not get her more. A little tickling can be a good ongoing joke, but you don't want to blow the whole relationship because you just have to tickle her breathless whenever you see her.

WOW Phant0m! I never even thought of it that way, but you are right. If they first thing you think of is tickling, without even considering the other person (Their feelings, their likes, dislikes, their desires, who they are as a person)- you might not deserve them.

Plus eventually you'll come off as an socially disturbed creeper who can't connect on any level except for tickling. (Not that I'm saying you do that O.P.)

Very interesting, and I like it. I even agree with you! 😀
 
Thank you all very much for confirming my fears and insecurity of being a creeper. That is what I was trying to figure out. As for "deserving her", I don't. I more or less knew that already.

She wants to hang out and talk God with me again. And I was planning to see her again and chill on the tickling. and if she tries to instigate it, I will put a stop to it. I got it out of my system and after the advice I got I am not feeling all too proud of myself.

Thanks for bringing me down to earth.
 
Thank you all very much for confirming my fears and insecurity of being a creeper. That is what I was trying to figure out. As for "deserving her", I don't. I more or less knew that already.

She wants to hang out and talk God with me again. And I was planning to see her again and chill on the tickling. and if she tries to instigate it, I will put a stop to it. I got it out of my system and after the advice I got I am not feeling all too proud of myself.

Thanks for bringing me down to earth.

Dude, if she wants to meet with you again than she obviously enjoyed herself. It seemed like you got a little carried away but it's nothing to beat yourself up over. I was just trying to warn you that making a habit of doing that is eventually going to go from playful to creepy, but you haven't crossed that line yet.

It's a slippery slope when it comes to tickling people outside of a sexual context. I say if she instigates it, play along but don't make any attempt to continue it. Whenever she surrenders or gives up, just move back on to talking.

As for whether or not you're good enough for her, I can't be the judge of that. That's up to her. If she's meeting up with you after you no longer work together, appreciates what you have to say about a topic that is important in her life, and was receptive to a tickle fight (which is huge flirting on your part) than I think you have a chance there. I just want to make sure you proceed with a clear head, as hornyness fucks with the minds of both kinky and vanilla men when it comes to women.
 
As for whether or not you're good enough for her, I can't be the judge of that. That's up to her. If she's meeting up with you after you no longer work together, appreciates what you have to say about a topic that is important in her life, and was receptive to a tickle fight (which is huge flirting on your part) than I think you have a chance there. I just want to make sure you proceed with a clear head, as hornyness fucks with the minds of both kinky and vanilla men when it comes to women.

I am well aware I was flirting with her. I won't say it was just testing the waters, or even that it was perfectly innocent. Yes I was also trying to placate my own baser wants and needs. I had a lapse in judgement and I am not proud of myself.

But as for being good enough for her, I'm not. But the term you used earlier was "deserve her." I don't "deserve" anyone, especially her. She is a person, and good, kind, sweet, innocent and loving one at that. She isn't a trophy to be won nor is she a second plate of desert. But I must have made it seem as though that was my intent. :sowrong:

I am well aware that flirting/sex is a slippery slope. But I consider myself a virgin before I consider myself a man. Perhaps I am being too proud of my virtue, but I feel I have earned the right to say that I don't have to worry about going to far.

Why? If she tries to instigate it, she obviously enjoys it!

Cuz screw it. I need to just behave myself. She can do better than me, anyway. So I am gonna keep it platonic. I never did mention that she wanted to meet with me to begin with. Nor did I say I believe that she has a crush on me, albeit a non-sexual one. But I was trying to take advantage of that. Many people have a tendency to like me as I have kind and magnetic personality. But I took something innocent and warped it. I just have to learn to control my baser instincts.

:serenity:
 
...........

First you go too far, then you don't deserve her so you do nothing even though she wants to see you again?
 
...........

First you go too far, then you don't deserve her so you do nothing even though she wants to see you again?

🙄

Well, we are meeting on Friday to have pizza hang out and stuff. I am just gonna chill with her; we like to talk about God, religion and people we used to work with together. We're friends. I just tried a little flirting and People seem to think I went to far. Or at least that is what I have interpreted.

Well...what if she turns out to want more? Then there is no reason for you to behave yourself!

:devil::idunno: :facepalm:

I agree with you, man. Ha Ha ha..:couch:

:blush: Well I can still behave myself. You know, to set a... good example...something. Look I just want to be a gentleman. You know, can't I just...you know....Gotta go!
 
I have the perfect solution.

You be a gentleman with her, and you get your tickling out on me.

It's a win/win situation.

Oh, and I WILL get you back. :wahooo:
 
I just tried a little flirting and People seem to think I went to far.

No....you just overdid the tickling by doing it over and over and OVER again, that was where you were a little out of line. But if she liked it - o well! 🙂

You know, to set a... good example...something.

For who? Are kids watching or something?
 
No....you just overdid the tickling by doing it over and over and OVER again, that was where you were a little out of line. But if she liked it - o well! 🙂
over and over? I did it like twice! and the first time it lasted for like 12 seconds. if that is out of line..... Like I said screw it. I just tested the water and I was told I would "come off as an socially disturbed creeper who can't connect on any level except for tickling." I was also accused of not considering the other persons feelings. No, I did! That is why I am here and asking you guys. I am unsure, not of myself, but of how I interpreted her reaction. I came for advice on whether testing the waters was a bad idea or if I went to far. Then I get a lecture on how much of a lowlife I am being! I will quote whomever I have to prove this point.

For who? Are kids watching or something?

sure, if you want.....
 
I did it like twice!

Once would have been enough. But then she didn't seem to complain, so - all that matters is HER reaction! If she wants to see you again and encourages the physical contact, then I don't see the problem!
 
Most women aren't going to come right out and say, "I'm ticklish and I love it...please keep doing it!" They might be coy like they may not hate it or may not like it either. Tickling can be a, well, touchy subject for people. People just don't seem to be comfortable talking about it.
I would say if you got a good reaction, try again. Keep trying at different times (though not persistently) as the relationship progresses. Offer up your own feet or ribs in innocent situations to see if she takes the bait. After a while, you can just broach the subject with her. Usually though, if she just doesn't like it, she will tell you, and give you a reason as to why, such as something traumatic from childhood.
 
Most women aren't going to come right out and say, "I'm ticklish and I love it...please keep doing it!" They might be coy like they may not hate it or may not like it either. Tickling can be a, well, touchy subject for people. People just don't seem to be comfortable talking about it.
I would say if you got a good reaction, try again. Keep trying at different times (though not persistently) as the relationship progresses. Offer up your own feet or ribs in innocent situations to see if she takes the bait. After a while, you can just broach the subject with her. Usually though, if she just doesn't like it, she will tell you, and give you a reason as to why, such as something traumatic from childhood.

Thanks you. I appreciate the advice. You make some good points.
 
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