>>
>> To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
>>
>> Dear Dogs and Cats,
>> The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The
>> other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a
>> paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim
>> for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically
>> pleasing in the slightest.
>>
>> The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
>> Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't
help
>> because I fall faster than you can run.
>>
>> I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
>> about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to
>> ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball
>> when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each
>> other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know
that
>> sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other
>> end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
>>
>> For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If
>> by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it
>> is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or
get
>> your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit
>> through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the
>> bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.
>>
>> The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's
>> butt. I cannot stress this enough!
>>
>> To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on
>> our front door:
>>
>> To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
>> 1. They live here. You don't.
>>
>> 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
>> furniture. (That's why they call it FUR-niture.)
>>
>> 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
>>
>> 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter
>> who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
>>
>> To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
>>
>> Dear Dogs and Cats,
>> The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The
>> other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a
>> paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim
>> for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically
>> pleasing in the slightest.
>>
>> The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
>> Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't
help
>> because I fall faster than you can run.
>>
>> I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
>> about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to
>> ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball
>> when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each
>> other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know
that
>> sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other
>> end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
>>
>> For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If
>> by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it
>> is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or
get
>> your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit
>> through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the
>> bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.
>>
>> The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's
>> butt. I cannot stress this enough!
>>
>> To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on
>> our front door:
>>
>> To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
>> 1. They live here. You don't.
>>
>> 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
>> furniture. (That's why they call it FUR-niture.)
>>
>> 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
>>
>> 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter
>> who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
>>
