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Poly Relationships: For or Against. Why?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Deleted member 66627
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Deleted member 66627

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Mistress Aura and I plan to do a show this Friday about Poly Relationships. More or less with the hopes of dispelling any rumors, and generally just discussing the possible Pros and Cons of a relationship like that.

The idea for this show was more or less constructed based upon the HBO TV Show, "Big Love". Read about that show HERE.

What we're hoping for is to craft a civil discussion, involving folks who are 'For' poly and for those who are more or less 'Against' it. There will be aspects of D/s involvement thrown in, based upon whoever calls in and whether or not they are into that as well.

We're very aware that this topic has a tendency to be a bit touchy, so we're hoping to keep it as peaceful as possible.

What we'd like to know is who of you are For the aspects of a poly relationship and those that are either neutral or against it. And why, if you'd like to go into further detail.

If any of you are interested in talking about it more, then call into our show this Friday and we'll put you on.

Thanks ahead of time for everyone that takes the time to respond. 🙂

- Mistress Aura and Jo.
 
As long as everyone in the relationship understands/respects their roles and boundaries and how that affects the other members of the relationship, then poly relationships can work very well.

While my relationship with Kitten is neither romantic nor poly, I understand that she has a boyfriend, that her boyfriend has set down very strict guidelines for her in terms of play and I respect those limits. As such, everyone's more or less happy.

For.

Snail Shell
 
huskys said:
With poly are you refering to polygamous?
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Polyamory and Polygamy. The only difference mostly being marriage.

It was inspired by the TV Show Big Love, which I'm obsessed with. It helped me appreciate polygamy a lot more. And taught me a lot about it as well. :xpulcy:

Basically any and all Poly-form relationships. 🙂
 
I had to look this up. Had never heard of it. Once I read it I realized that this used to be called "open relationships."

Okay... call me old fashioned... but I would not be comfortable in a relationship like this.

The way I have always seen it is this... if I cannot fulfill my partners needs and he feels that he needs to seek out someone else to fill the gaps left by me, than he does not need to be with me. I am obviously not what he needs. And the same goes for me if I am the one who is not being fulfilled. If I feel the need to go elsewhere, than the person I am with evidently is not the one for me.

Also, I would not want to worry about getting a sexually transmitted disease from him through this other person who may not be seeing him exclusively either. Condoms are not fullproof for protection as they can sometimes slip off leaving the partner (me) wide open for exposure.

And that just about sums it up.
 
Not all polyamourous relationships are sexual. My relationship with Kitten isn't. It's a limit set down by her bf (and myself for that matter). I keep Kitten company at certain fet events and we play when the mood strikes us. Sex strictly belongs to her bf though.

But hey, that's just me. To each their own, eh?

Snail Shell
 
CrystalLight said:
Polyamory and Polygamy. The only difference mostly being marriage.

It was inspired by the TV Show Big Love, which I'm obsessed with. It helped me appreciate polygamy a lot more. And taught me a lot about it as well. :xpulcy:

Basically any and all Poly-form relationships. 🙂
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Don't think we get that show down here.
Isn't that illegal though???
 
Yes, in most places it is. However in others, it's encouraged.
 
I've never quite understood being "against" polyamory in any but a personal sense. And if someone doesn't feel that polyamory would work for them then I don't think they should push themselves into it. But neither do I hold with criticising those for whom it does work.

It works for me. My wife and I have been polyamorous for most of our 29 years as a couple (22 of them married, this coming April). We've lasted longer as a multiple relationship than most monogamous couples do.

BTW, "polyamory" is a gender-neutral term. If you need to specify gender then the terms are "polygamy" (multiple female partners) or "polyandry" (multiple male partners).
 
Redmage said:
I've never quite understood being "against" polyamory in any but a personal sense. And if someone doesn't feel that polyamory would work for them then I don't think they should push themselves into it. But neither do I hold with criticising those for whom it does work.
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Exactly. Screw "for" or "against". If it isn't my life, what should I care? And unless I'm involved with them, what should the polys care?

It wouldn't work for me, I don't think, 'cause I'm just not wired like that. I like too much the idea of romantically devoting myself to just one person, and having that devotion reciprocated. Trying to do a poly thing would just be too much hassle for me. But if there are folks for whom it works, do what works!
 
My only experience with this was when i dated a girl from the Mormon religion.
They used to have polygamy in the early years of the develpment of their Church.
I found through talking to many of them, that they made no apologies for it, and suggested that if it ever became legal again, there wouldn't be any hesitation in going down that road again.
I cases of strict religion I can see how it would work and actually helps to "bind" these groups together.
Outside these small communities I have only ever known two couples who had "open relationships" and they both swore by it right up until the time that they broke up!!!
 
I think, in a romantic dating-marriage-other-binding-contract relationship, I couldn't do it. As for D/s, it's a strong maybe. I think the jealousy would be a huge factor within the relationship. I know that there would be no need to be jealous, as it wouldn't be the Dom bringing someone home and saying, "She's my new boy/girl, deal with it." It's a long process to find someone compatible with both D/O/M and sub. And then there is the issue of Alpha/Beta subs/slaves, if that is considered in the relationship.
 
I think the free world knows how I feel about this topic by now:
3love.jpg



I'll save my oft-repeated thoughts for the radio show. One thing I will say: it never ceases to amuse me how quick people are to point out a poly couple's breakup, but no one blames monogamy when mono couples fail... 🙄
 
Yet again, I will chant my mantra, "people can do whatever they damn well please as long as they're not harming somebody."

Personally, I'd never agree to be one of many husbands. I'm competitive and territorial, it would be constantly stressful. Having an casual, non-exclusive relationship is something I can handle, but to enter into a structured relationship where I'd have to share a girl is not something I would ever do.
 
Capnmad said:
Exactly. Screw "for" or "against". If it isn't my life, what should I care? And unless I'm involved with them, what should the polys care?
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Redmage said:
I've never quite understood being "against" polyamory in any but a personal sense. And if someone doesn't feel that polyamory would work for them then I don't think they should push themselves into it.
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I understand wholly. 🙂 However, there are some folks out there that are against it in however/whatever term you want to place it. And they shouldn't feel like they're 'wrong' for not always being for it.
 
Redmage said:
I've never quite understood being "against" polyamory in any but a personal sense. And if someone doesn't feel that polyamory would work for them then I don't think they should push themselves into it. But neither do I hold with criticising those for whom it does work.

.
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I have to agree with Red on this....

Its not something I would ever even think to explore, but I have no ill feelings towards those that make it work for them...as long as it is consentual all around then there is no reason for anyone to put them down...
 
CrystalLight said:
I understand wholly. 🙂 However, there are some folks out there that are against it in however/whatever term you want to place it. And they shouldn't feel like they're 'wrong' for not always being for it.
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I know, it's a totally different subject, but this really sums it up for me :devil2: :

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It's funny; I was mentally comparing it to homosexual partners when I was writing that.

and..LOUIS!! :yayzorz:
 
I feel the same about this as I do about any kind of relationship. If it's agreed upon and working for those involved, more power to them. What makes a relationship work is mutual love, trust and respect...not the gender or number of people.

That having been said, I don't think it would work for me.
 
Mz Chaos said:
I was gonna ask the same thing. Hell... if my partner wants to have a FRIEND of the opposite sex... I'd have no problem with that.
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I believe Crystal means someone you're in love with but aren't sleeping with.
 
CrystalLight said:
Do you think you could ever be in a non-sexual relationship with more then one partner?
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I have friends of both sexes, but I'm not sure if that's what you mean.
What kind of relationship?😀
 
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