Post a pun!!

[C.A.B.]

arrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

 

[rdhd]

I'm a member of the Stooge clan of Chu Mi Shu.

 

[Xodlirv]

What did the Zen Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

"Make me one with everything."

 

[manga_geek13]

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.

When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

 

[rdhd]

What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall?
"Dam!"

 

[Xodlirv]

"911, what is your emergency?"
"I just hit a dog with my car."
"Oh, dear! Is it moving?"
"Very tragic, yes."

 

[Xodlirv]

I'm writing a novel about an asthmatic mathlete who goes to a Mexican restaurant. Working title: Diarrhea of a Wimpy Kid.

 

[Xodlirv]

"Who wrote Great Expectations?"
"How the Dickens should I know?

 

[Xodlirv]

"What are you doing today?"
"Oh, just sitting out in the sun, reading poetry."
"Browning?"
"No, I put on sunscreen."

 

[Xodlirv]

What's the difference between a phone sex worker and a cat?

A cat doesn't come when you call.

 

[rdhd]

meee-yoww!

 

[tkljim]

I was going to write a theatrical production about puns...
It was a play on words.

 

[Xodlirv]

"Do you know what Van Gogh's girlfriend said when he cut off his ear and gave it to her?"

"No."

"Neither did he."

 

[Xodlirv]

I've started volunteering with a charity group that works at the National Aquarium. We build new enclosures for large aquatic mammals who've outgrown their old ones.

It's called Habitat for Huge Manatees.

 

[Xodlirv]

What did the chemistry student say to the professor when she spilled a beaker of potassium permanganate on him?

"I'm sorry, it was an oxidant."

 

[rdhd]

I recently has to quit using my bike....it was two-tired.

 

[tklbd]

The other day I forgot how to throw a boomerang.......................and then it came back to me!!!

 

[Xodlirv]

The guests for Monday's Live with Kelly and Michael have been announced: Kelly Hu, Naomi Watts, and a third guest to be announced later. That is the order in which they'll appear: Hu's on first, Watts on second, I don't know third.

 

[rdhd]

If you drive along the coast (anywhere), be sure to enjoy the sea-nery.

 

[Xodlirv]

Did you know the Geico Gecko can't have sex? He has a reptile dysfunction.

 

[Bator]

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

 

[TheComedian]

Did you hear about the bird who snuck into the football stadium? He live tweeted the whole game.

 

[bellybutton_lee]

I do try to be a good person, in fact my parents say I'm the most trying person they know!

 

[rdhd]

Did you hear about the cyclops who was a teacher? Had just one pupil.

 

[Xodlirv]

Did you hear about the shopkeeper in East Berlin who hid a Czechoslovakian midget from the KGB in the back of his store?

He cached a small Czech.