Question About Relationships

[Aachen1983]

I think I will. I will keep you all posted on how it goes.

 

[evilwomanhehe]

Aachen: Hope your date goes well...and have a good time. I'm happy for ya. 🙂

Crydun: you're another person who spoke my heart/head. Thanks for responding!

Deuce: thanks for responding and giving me some advice. I feel like i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place sometimes. I know someday my day will come. I've just been waiting too long it seems--get to wondering if it's me or something else.

Victoria

 

[WraithTickler]

Personally, I'd find a relationship first, then tickling second as a icing on the proverbial cake. However, that's just how I feel on the matter and nothing more.

That being said though, I think there's a lot of people here in this forum, and closet ticklephiles elsewhere who probably would consider it an essential part of their relationship. I think, given the amount of people on this forum and how many of them seem like good people, you'll be in good shape eventually finding someone with whom you can share a very personal and intimate part of yourself with mutual regard. If it's that important to you, then do what's right for you and don't give up hope. You're bound sooner or later to meet someone who's probably well... bound under your ticklish nails before long.

 

[Sultrybrunette]

I know someday my day will come. I've just been waiting too long it seems--get to wondering if it's me or something else.

Victoria

Just know your not alone. Anyone that knows me knows that I question whether its me. What have I done wrong. Why not me. You know? I sometimes have to wonder. Hang in there.

 

[Sunjob]

If you love somebody enough then you wont need them to be heavily into tickling, but maybe just let you tickle occasionally.

Just keep going, talking to new people, etc etc. Just work away until you find the perfect partner for you.

 

[Dandy Jack]

I have a problem

Hello Everyone:

I have been into tickling for as long as I can remember. In the past, I have incorporated tickling with the "vanilla" guys I have gone out with. I have found that not too many of the relationships I have had with them like to have tickling incorporated at all. Through the years, I have questioned myself into thinking that if i'm being too stingey/selfish trying to find that one person who has the same fetish as I have---and disregarding the others who are "vanilla" who come along.

Who here has thought about this---and who is going through the same thing?

😱

Thanks!
Victoria

I have a long time girl friend. She is not at all interested in tickling. I have stayed in a relationship with her because I thought that I should not be so selfish as to force my tickling life and desires upon someone else.

The relationship has a lot missing. No tickling for a guy who loves tickling.

I have never met anyone in real life who shares my love for tickling...

I pay girls to tickle me. I also pay to find girls to tickle. I used to visit Passive Arts everytime I went to Los Angeles.

Paying for a tickle session leaves a lot to be desired... being on a clock takes away passion and many other aspects of a relationship.

It is very sad that I have not met a tickling mate...

To tell the truth...I many times keep my tickling desires a secret with many girls because too many do not understand.

My girlfriend does not... nor does she want to...

Dandy Jack...

 

[Em Es]

Questions and comments

I see this is an old post that got bumped. But I can't help but respond!

evilwomanhehe, or, may I say, Victoria, how many of the men you've dated were among the "too many" who did not enjoy getting tickled by you? Why are you no longer seeing the guys who allowed it? I'd like to know and if you don't wish to say so in this public forum, feel free to send me a private message.

So much for my questions. Just a couple of comments:

It surprises me so many men reject getting tickled that you mention it, Victoria! Especially if the tickling's part of foreplay; I would think a guy would want to know what arouses you - and use it.

Jerks seem to cast a magic spell over certain women. I've seen a number of great girls with men who don't deserve them. It could be that you have a weakness for self-centered guys.

Unless tickling and intimacy are inseparable for you, Victoria, consider finding a male tickle buddy. A personal ad here should do the trick. Needless to say, make sure the guy(s) you meet/tickle understand it's just tickling.

 

[GQguy]

While an old thread it is still relevant to many of our 40,000 strong forum 5 years later. It's a decision we all have to make.

So much for my questions. Just a couple of comments:

It surprises me so many men reject getting tickled that you mention it, Victoria! Especially if the tickling's part of foreplay; I would think a guy would want to know what arouses you - and use it.

Jerks seem to cast a magic spell over certain women. I've seen a number of great girls with men who don't deserve them. It could be that you have a weakness for self-centered guys.

QUOTE]
A little off topic.

Em Es. I have often pondered these two points. I've always felt an internal pressure to please the women i'm with sexually...going to great lengths to do so. It surprises me then that there are men that can keep women without doing so.

I've also pondered and studied why it seemed as though jerks can cast a magic spell over women who don't deserve them...surely magic does not exist. Then I got my answer(s). There are many...because women are not all the same.

1) Love is a rollercoaster. There are certain highs and lows that are caused by the unaffected jerk. The rush of not knowing if he loves you or not...then finally getting that phone call or exposing his sweet side is pure fireworks. The rush of knowing that she won him over. The challenge. This is not unique to women. Men desire it too! Especially young ones. But one person IMHO experiences more than the other. Women that desire this rush will leave a man that looks perfect on paper to find a man that can provide this rush...even if he is inferior in every other way. I have been on both sides of this. When I was called perfect...and did everything "right" she'd run away. Now i'm call bastard in a more joking way...and i'm far from perfect and they don't run away as fast anymore. I'm still nice....but my focus on other things in my life provide that roller coaster.

2) The definition of jerk is wide and a very easy label to toss around. I think a person deserves whoever they're with. While one partner might appear out of their league....it's tough to understand the inner workings from the outside. So there are several sorts of jerks:

cocky/confident/arrogant: many women are insecure or percieve that they are insecure. Isn't it natural that they would be attracted to someone that displays characteristics that they themselves lack? Many women want a man that is a leader and usually these are traits of a leader. Of course these traits can be a fault in their own....but would you rather follow the insecure guy or the overconfident one? Surely the guy that has the RIGHT amount of confidence is preferable by most normal women...and you'll rarely find these men dateless.

mean/rude/crass: The dynamics within a persons home while growing up has a profound effect on what their preferences are when they are adults. Some women want a guy like their dad. Some want a guy that is the complete opposite. Well if dad were mean/rude/crass to mom guess what the daughter might gravitate towards when they're grown?

insecure: I said above that a cocky guy can attract a insecure women..Well insecure men can also attract insecure women. They lean on one another. The guy however comes off as a cocky guy when you meet him though. He's loud and brash...ect. But he's afraid of his woman leaving his sight or progressing to equal status. ect. She has her own fears and needs and they both cater to each others demons.

there are many more types and many more reasons and variables.......Understanding what you're dealing with helps in allowing you to date whatever woman you want. I am however VERY wary of women that have a history of dating jerks. We can have fun...but they can't and shouldn't be taken seriously. Date them at your own risk.

GQ

 

[Em Es]

GQguy

Thanks for your comments. I have come to look forward to reading your posts.

I was single longer than most and so I know what you mean regarding "women that have a history of dating jerks." I recommend the book Women Who Love Too Much to help understand those ladies.

 

[FAIS]

I really wanted to comment on Victoria's thread but I wanted it to be private so I had PMd her.

Secondly CRYSTAL & MELANIE .. It is very very nice to see you guys. I came out of my mute recently and im glad to know you guys still are here🙂

I hope to talk to you guys 🙂

 

[GQguy]

Thanks for your comments. I have come to look forward to reading your posts.

I was single longer than most and so know what you mean regarding "women that have a history of dating jerks." I recommend the book Women Who Love Too Much to help understand those ladies.

Just read the reviews. They were mostly positive. I'll have to read it sometime!

http://www.amazon.com/Women-Who-Love-Too-Much/dp/0671733419

GQ

 

[mabus]

No GQguy, I've got thhe better book for you and everyone else here, especially the ladies:

http://www.amazon.com/Hot-Chicks-Do...=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1294281817&sr=1-1

Hot Chicks with Douchebags!! Ha ha! 🙂

It's not worth buying, just go to the bookstore and read it, then put it back...since it's more pictures than words, but hilariously explains the different "douchebags" and their assorted poses........ but I learned douchebags are different than jerks, they all have that same, Jersey Shorish look, whereas jerks can look like anyone, from an asshole nerd to a grizzled, hairy plumber to a clean cut guy in a suit who cheats on his girlfriend and is mean to the waitresses.

Leaving the silliness behind, on to the topic.....I think everyone needs to just keep looking until they find that right one.

Look at it another way - every minute, day, year, and dollar you spend on someone who isn't right for you and frustrates you, is an absolute waste.

I regret wasting the last 5 to 10 years of my life in my marriage, and I regret that my ex-wife had to also waste it with me. We both should have found someone more compatible for our wants and needs. Many people figure this out early on, and some of us later after much bitterness and heartache, and some folks never do. They stay married, and miserable, for their entire lives on Earth. I know people who are in horrible marriages, and have been there for decades.

Don't ever, ever, SETTLE. Because not only will you be miserable, your significant other will become miserable also. You'll both drag each other down with mutual resentment.

Why shouldn't you have a happy, fulfilling relationship? You deserve it! Too often ticklephiles put themselves in some lower stratosphere because they subconciously, or consciously, believe they're different, ie: less than, everyone else.
No, you're less than everyone else if you're a jerk, bitch, or asshole.

You're not less than everyone else because you like to tickle or be tickled, like a woman in pantyhose or socks or bare feet. You're less than everyone else if you're an impatient asshole, are cruel to people who are subservient to you (waiters, customer service reps, employees, or even fellow workers), lie, are selfish, lazy, are manipulative, ungrateful, use people, you're difficult to be around, etc.

 

[GQguy]

No GQguy, I've got thhe better book for you and everyone else here, especially the ladies:

http://www.amazon.com/Hot-Chicks-Do...=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1294281817&sr=1-1

Hot Chicks with Douchebags!! Ha ha! 🙂

It's not worth buying, just go to the bookstore and read it, then put it back...since it's more pictures than words, but hilariously explains the different "douchebags" and their assorted poses........ but I learned douchebags are different than jerks, they all have that same, Jersey Shorish look, whereas jerks can look like anyone, from an asshole nerd to a grizzled, hairy plumber to a clean cut guy in a suit who cheats on his girlfriend and is mean to the waitresses.

Leaving the silliness behind, on to the topic.....I think everyone needs to just keep looking until they find that right one.

Look at it another way - every minute, day, year, and dollar you spend on someone who isn't right for you and frustrates you, is an absolute waste.

I regret wasting the last 5 to 10 years of my life in my marriage, and I regret that my ex-wife had to also waste it with me. We both should have found someone more compatible for our wants and needs. Many people figure this out early on, and some of us later after much bitterness and heartache, and some folks never do. They stay married, and miserable, for their entire lives on Earth. I know people who are in horrible marriages, and have been there for decades.

Don't ever, ever, SETTLE. Because not only will you be miserable, your significant other will become miserable also. You'll both drag each other down with mutual resentment.

Why shouldn't you have a happy, fulfilling relationship? You deserve it! Too often ticklephiles put themselves in some lower stratosphere because they subconciously, or consciously, believe they're different, ie: less than, everyone else.
No, you're less than everyone else if you're a jerk, bitch, or asshole.

You're not less than everyone else because you like to tickle or be tickled, like a woman in pantyhose or socks or bare feet. You're less than everyone else if you're an impatient asshole, are cruel to people who are subservient to you (waiters, customer service reps, employees, or even fellow workers), lie, are selfish, lazy, are manipulative, ungrateful, use people, you're difficult to be around, etc.

Hey! I wear Armani exchange! Lol. Sure....jerkiness is all relative I suppose!

 

[EvenSteven]

understanding

We cannot always count on the other person in the relationship to have the same fetish that we have, but we can hope for understanding. i started coming here to look for a female Ler, though, because then if a relationship did develop, at least we would have our fetish in common.

 

[TickVix]

No Way! I don't think you're being stingy at all. You know what you like and enjoy and I don't see why you shouldn't be with someone who enjoys it just as much as you do. To be honest, I think it would be hard to make someone who isn't into tickling really grasp and appreciate it for what it is and how it can affect those who are truly into it. However, on the other side some people may be really open minded and may want to explore this fetish as well, so I guess it can go both ways. Much luck to you and I hope you find the guy that truly makes you happy.