Question about safewords

[tickleteasing]

If your tickling someone and they use there safeword how does it make you feel? I mean I have two ways of looking at it, one I would think someone would want there limits tested and another I would think someone was pushed too far?

 

[sasaxrah]

Theoretically, I'd appreciate their honesty and really respect that they knew their limits. I also *might* feel a tad bit bad that I didn't read them well enough, but I'd try to learn from the situation.

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

It doesnt bother me if she says her safeword, we are there to tickle each other for as long as we can stand it. in the end if the safeword is used or not both the Lee and the Ler win

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

If I were tickled to safeword, I wouldn't think the ler should feel bad AT ALL. Quite the contrary -- I would love them for it LOL

I don't think safewording is something that should make the ler feel like, oh damn I went too far. A safeword is there specifically so you don't go too far, but just far enough. You can't be expected to know that your lee has had enough, if they haven't had enough 🙂 This is, of course, when safeword = enough.

As far as do they want to be pushed past their limits, that's definitely something you'd want to set up ahead of time. If I wanted my ler to ignore my safeword, because I wanted to be pushed that far, I would tell them in the beginning, when I safeword, keep going. Don't stop until you want to (or the situation becomes unsafe -- obviously). I wouldn't ever think you should guess - okay she safeworded...does she want me to keep pushing?? Very dangerous gamble.

 

[Snail Shell]

Safewording is nothing to be ashamed of, nor should it be anything to be made fun of. In the event that my lee safewords, my first instinct is to check and make sure the lee is alright and to remove any restraints. Help them regain normal space.

Discuss what happened later, without placing any blame on anyone or anything. Only re-negotiate for next time.

Snail Shell

 

[maniactickler]

Screw safewords!

 

[Redmage]

I don't think safewording is something that should make the ler feel like, oh damn I went too far. A safeword is there specifically so you don't go too far, but just far enough. You can't be expected to know that your lee has had enough, if they haven't had enough 🙂 This is, of course, when safeword = enough.

If that's how you want to work it then you really need two different safewords: One that means, "OK, I've had all I can stand" and another that means "Emergency situation! Stop NOW!"

In conventional use a safeword means more the latter than the former. If that's not how you're using it then you still need something that indicates serious trouble, or your Top won't be able to respond appropriately if it ever comes up.

 

[Chloe_Vlad]

Screw safewords!

Amen to that. 🙂 My husband and I mutually agreed to not have one.

 

[ticklebunny 2]

I think that safewords are very important and very vital to have-these safewords keep a person from going and pushing a lee too far. I do think that probably there should be and needs to be two different safewords like what was mentioned-one I can not stand no more I have reached my limits... and other one-Emergency you need to stop now no question about it immediately right then and there no hesistation-stop instantly. I think that helps. Also heard red, yellow, and green works. Red-totally stop, yellow proceed but go slow and cautious and if I say red stop and green all go-proceed ahead. But it varies depends on what the ler and lee want to do whether they choose the universal language of traffic light colors for safewords or their own special unique safewords. Regardless what is selected-those safewords need to be heeded and followed and listened and honored-immediately no questions asked and no hesitation-immediate stop...needed to be treated as a big time stop sign.

Respect and trust btw a ler and lee need to be there no question and solid and secure and communication clear-the ler needs to be attentive and make sure the lee is always feeling at comfort and not in physical or emotional discomfort and needs to be attentive before hand during and especially after safeword is said- needs to be there for the lee and make sure the lee is alright and fine-feeling good and content and happy and cared for and loved as a person. Aftercare is a must, being caring, emotionally attentive and emotionally sensitive and tuned in on the moment after the tickle session is over-tuned in to how the lee might be feeling afterwards. That are my thoughts on this.

In short I feel safewords are a definite must and so is a great positive aftercare after a session is over and tickling stops. That makes the difference whether a tickle session is going to be average, nice, or something wonderful and not something negative and not something terrible. That makes the difference. I feel that is what dictates whether there will be another repeat of another great tickle session in future or not, depends on whether the ler and also if later when lee is ler-if each were there for the other person and attentive and made them feel good and cared for and loved as a person-not just a piece of tickle meat.

 

[ticklebear2]

As a lee myself I love being pushed to my limits and if the ler is able to get me to safeword then that ler should feel honored. I find that when I am pushed to safeword than after I am I find that I become even more hyperticklish than before. So I love to be pushed to my safeword.

 

[Iris]

Screw safewords!

I'm with ya there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[ticklesenseless]

I generally don't use safe words. Although, I would love to be tickled to the point where I felt I needed one.

 

[LD_Tickler]

Never used a safeword, but I've never tickled a girl intensely and for a long enough period of time that it would make sense.

If I was engaging in an all-out session, I'd absolutely insist on a safeword. Merciless play can turn to abuse in an instant. Without that precaution, I wouldn't be able to relax and indulge myself.

 

[DimpleToes]

I have only ever been tickled to the point of using my safe word once.. but that was so not fair.. at a gathering and someone who was a wrestling coach put me in a hold and another member who is a dear personal freind of mine told a 3rd member where my worst spot ever is... they destroyed me. Fun times.